Engagement: Purposeal

[Erik2008]

hey guys, i have my engagement coming up this Wednesday when i purpose to my lady that i have know for 6 years (2001 - 2007) , what are do's and don't on doing it, i already know what i'm going to say for it already , i will have to write on before i purpose to her , whats your advice

Thanks

[Mathias]

Please don't do it in writing. She'll never understand you.

[Charlie Boy II]

I know you're an aussie, but is English your first language?

[reeba]

Too funny Mathias and Charlie.

Remember she will tell all of her girlfriends on how you popped the question, so the pressure is on.

[Erik2008]

Please don't do it in writing. She'll never understand you.

i won't be wring it down when i purpose to her, i'm writing it out what i want to say and remember it.

[GrkScorp]

i won't be wring it down when i purpose to her, i'm writing it out what i want to say and remember it.

word of advice.. everything anyone here would tell you, would be alot more meaningful and powerful if you could see them and hear them say it.. think about that..!

we could all be saying the same exact thing.. word-for-word, but it would be so much more moving in person.. why?

that's because CONTENT matters very little.. in fact.. ask your parents or a married woman "WHAT" her husband told her when he was proposing.. and she'll remember maybe "30%".. however, what she will remember is EVERYTHING ELSE!

- Where you took her
- When you did it
- What you were wearing
- Your face and the expression on it
- How you said it (your voice)

this isn't to say that content doesn't matter.. but we can all crack open the dictionary of (cheezy-ness) and pull out "you're my everything quotes and analogies".. she'll be so blown away and in shock that you're proposing that the actual content of what you're saying will be stored as one big blur and blank..

I haven't proposed.. but it's something i've been dreaming about ever since I was 18-19ish.. I don't know where you're going to do it, but it has to be somewhere memorable and of some significance.. (The place you first saw her, first met, first went on a date, first talked about getting married, first saw a married couple, first kissed, knew you loved her when she did something, etc.)

Don't wham bam thank-you mam it.. a proposal is what it is.. a transition.. a transition from a long-term relationship into a permanent one.. and the same way it's a symbolic transition, you should make it a conversational transition.. your proposal should start minutes before you get down on your knees.. (start talking about her you remember how you first met, blah blah.. let her add her memories of that event.. let her actively participate.. and then, start to take over the conversation.. start to stress how lucky you were to ever find someone like her, how she makes you feel.. and look her warmly in the eyes as you're talking to her.. "as if you know she's going to say yes to the question you're about to ask her"..)

then.. go with your line if you have one (speech).. "I personally would keep the speech short and on-the-spot, but that's just me".. then say her name.. as if you're asking her a question.. example using the name Sarah.. (correct: Sarah; can I ask you something?; wrong: Sarah; I love your hair!).. look at her and smile.. hold her hand, softly, gently, warmly, yet firmly, like you're never going to let go, like she's yours.. and ask her if she wants to marry you..

pretty simple.. I guess the hardest part about it is not getting nervous.. realize that there's no reason to be nervous.. honestly.. it's very unlikely that she's going to say "no".. and her active re-write process will make it the most perfect moment of her life.. plus.. it's her proposal.. so even if you DID do anything goofy.. her proposal is personal and has to do with "her", and women are in a secret competition of who has the better "anything really".. and proposals are up there.. so think of her as a fliter.. she's going to filter out all the bad things that aren't complete screw-ups (stuff you couldn't do even if you tried).. and she's going to tell a happy tale..

also.. proposals share the same rule as real-estate.. Location.. Location.. Location.. pick a good spot.. and 50% of the work is done..

[IndiReloaded]

LOL, I thought for sure the guys on here would say "There aren't any 'do's'. Only DON'Ts."

[Gribble]

Good god. If you can't spell purposeal you've got no business purposing. At least wait until you're out of grammar school.

[Tiay]

scorp, you pretty much nailed my proposition fantasy.

[GrkScorp]

scorp, you pretty much nailed my proposition fantasy.

well, proposition fantasies do come second on the list of things my magic hammer is good at..

[Tiay]

well, proposition fantasies do come second on the list for my magic hammer..

wow, I have no idea what any of that means. you're welcome?

[GrkScorp]

wow, I have no idea what any of that means. you're welcome?

ugh.. lol

think about it.. it's alot more fun if I don't have to spell it out for you..

[Tiay]

whose fun? take pity on me, I just sliced off the tip of my ringfinger with a really sharp knife.

[Charlie Boy II]

that's God warning you to stop trying to turn his followers away from him

[GrkScorp]

whose fun? take pity on me, I just sliced off the tip of my ringfinger with a really sharp knife.

awww

yikes, i've been preparing food with some pretty heavy-duty knives, and i've never cut myself all these years.. and if any finger is in risk of being totally cut off.. it's my thumb.. how on earth did you manage to cut off the tip of your ring finger?

anyway.. I just visualized what you did.. (always keep your fingers parallel to the knife, never perpendicular; with the exception of the thumb)..

well.. I hope your finger gets better.. :*(

as for me spelling it out for you.. I don't budge so easily.. sorry

but, to be fair, i've modified the post, hopefully it's alot less cryptic now.. I think it's actually pretty obvious.. but hopefully the new wording helps : )