Girlfriend just broke up with me ):

[Alphyn]

Hey all, my girlfriend just cut ties with me without explaining why or saying anything. I was always being the best boyfriend to her, if she'd get annoyed and started bitching at me and come back later I would always stay sweet and take care of her instead. If she said mean things she might not have meant, I wouldn't complain and just gently tell her to think twice before saying silly stuff. If she was in the mood for cuddles and whatnot, I'd just go along even if I wasn't in the mood. She did none of those things for me though. I truly loved her and would do anything for her. Sometimes I'd get a bit pushy though... but if she'd tell me to stop I would and just forget about it. I apologized for things I shouldn't have said, she didn't. So maybe it's better in the end. It just feels like I won't meet anyone ever again, and she's the first woman to accept me like that, despite looking the way I am. I'm different in looks, I have total hair loss, alopecia. I just get the feeling it'll be hard for someone to accept me like that again...

We broke up today because I had something troubling me. When we got in a fight before she told me she thinks she can get someone better than me... that was like 3 months ago. It had been troubling me a lot lately and I told her, she didn't take it well and told me I don't respect her wishes etc. and then she just cut all ties with me without giving me a chance to say anything. Now she's gone... forever probaly. I cried a bit of course. We had a long distance relationship by the way, I sent her a valentine's day present by post. I just hope she'll at least look at it...

Oh well, I'll get over it eventually, I hope. Just wanted to share it, thanks for listening. I was just hoping to get some comfort here.

[smackie9]

LDR's are always tough, and most end. If you want someone to love you, you have to accept and love yourself with confidence. It's sounds to me that you were a little emotionally absent from the relationship, and well with (some) women, they feel at times they shouldn't have to ask for or explain things. So it comes down to this, proper communication, but not from just you but her too. Communication builds emotional connection, and without emotional connection, the relationship falls apart. So when she said she can do better than you, it wasn't about your looks.

Breaking ties is the best thing, there is no sense in dragging this memory out any longer, you definitely need to get on with your life. If you just get out and socialize, get busy with friends and activities that void will fill in. You are still hurting, so this would not be the right time to find someone else. You need to get this out of your system before you can be free to accept someone in your life.

As for the gift...you still didn't respect her wishes (AGAIN). She is right you are pushy and don't know when to stop. I hope you have learned something from this post.

[vashti]

I was always being the best boyfriend to her, if she'd get annoyed and started bitching at me and come back later I would always stay sweet and take care of her instead. If she said mean things she might not have meant, I wouldn't complain and just gently tell her to think twice before saying silly stuff. If she was in the mood for cuddles and whatnot, I'd just go along even if I wasn't in the mood. She did none of those things for me though. I truly loved her and would do anything for her.

Honestly, it sounds like you were too "nice", meaning you don't sound like you have any backbone at all. If that is the case, she probably lost respect for you, and it is difficult to maintain loving thoughts about someone you can't respect.

I'm sorry about your loss, but you might want to look at it as a learning opportunity. Your alopecia won't be a deal-breaker for most people, bald men are sexy. You just need to work on having better boundaries.

[Alphyn]

I had already sent the gift before this all happened, I just think it's a shame, that's all. But you're definitely right about the communication, I was trying. I'd sometimes tell her that she needs to tell me what bothers her, or what we could change etc. but she was too stubborn and just went off MSN. I have learned from your post Smackie, thanks.

Vashti, I do have a backbone. And I've tried saying stuff about but she'd just... rage I guess. And leave. Then I figured that maybe I should stay nice? This was my first real relationship too. When she said that she thinks she can get someone better, what should I have said then? Something like that if she's going to say such things that she can just go find someone else? I thought I'd just break the relationship even more when I'd say something about it that would make her leave all over again. I think I need some help with that stuff.

Don't mistake me though, usually I'm never a pussy or whatever. Except when it came to her I guess. At least I know how to handle it next time, I think so that is. Thanks though guys.

By the way, what if she decides to crawl back again? I mean, there is a chance. Should I give it one more try and just show some backbone?

[smackie9]

Like Vashti said, you need to step up and have better boundaries....this is good advice if she does come back.

[Alphyn]

Yeah, thanks. I hope she'll come back and we can give it a last try. I still truly love her.

[smackie9]

Hey, if you want her back to your life, and want her to be your girlfriend again, you should contact this powerful spellcaster: Dr. Vadoo. His email is [email]vadoospell@gmail.com[/email]. He will fulfill your desires and bring back your girlfriend to you. email him at [email]vadoospell@gmail.com[/email].

oh please tell this douche bag to stop spamming here!