Did she overreact?

[warriormaiden]

I thought I would pose this to the females of the site, because I'm trying to understand where she's coming from as a woman, and I'm not really.....getting it.


Lately I've just been feeling very vulnerable. And it's because, I have completely and utterly cut off all contact with my ex boyfriend, and I just feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere.
I also have this urge to jump in bed with a man (definitely not the one who is going to be mentioned in this post) just to feel valued. But I'm not emotionally ready for sex, and that is definitely not the way to go if you are not happy within yourself. I know of alot of sad desperate women who go and sleep with every piece of man they can find, just for a few minutes they can feel loved. I have too much pride within myself to become one of them.

Yesterday I was feeling just, really low. I went over to my friend's house because he invited me over for a movie and some chocolate covered popcorn, and he noticed something was wrong with me.
And then, to my shame, I started to cry.
He basically just comforted me, and we had a long chat, and he hugged me and got me tissue and just basically was a good friend, like he always have been.

But then his girlfriend came home.
And saw me and him on the sofa, sitting really close with his arm around me while I dab away at the tears. And she started to go mad.

Just yelling, and swearing, and telling me I was a whore and a bitch, and throwing things. And he tried to explain to her, that it wasn't LIKE that, and she wouldn't hear any of it. So I left.
The today, I get a text from my friend, and he tells me that she doesn't want him hanging around with me and that I have to stay my distance.
Which I don't think is fair.

I've known this guy since I was 15, she's been dating him for not EVEN a year. I've never had a problem with her before, she's always been nice to me. I just, don't understand her feelings.

Is she justified in her reaction, and her demands?

[Ryan Heitzman]

Of course she over reacted. That's a bitchy thing to do and find it very repulsive to just jump to conclusions like that so quickly.

Please tell me if you don't want me to mention your name again on this site again.

[MerryH]

Is she justified in her reaction, and her demands?

Not really, but your friend seems to be going along with whatever she wants and he asked you to keep your distance, so you're just going to have to accept it, pretty much.

I wonder if it would help if you contacted her directly and told her that you respect her and their relationship, and that the guy has always been a good friend to you and you would never do anything to hurt his relationship, you were having a rough day and needed a shoulder to cry on, and that you hope the three of you can move past this because you would like to continue being friends with them both, blah blah blah. I guess this has potential to make it worse, though.

Edit: Jesus, Ryan. Maybe you should have asked her that before posting it here. There's an edit button, you know.

[Ryan Heitzman]

Oh, hush. We are friends on facebook and we get a long very well. I don't think she's gonna hold a grudge against me because I said her name. Besides, Merry, you say my name all the time. What's the difference?

[MerryH]

The difference is you put your name here on your own accord. I have no idea if it would bother her or not, but you should have asked first.

You hush.

[warriormaiden]

Yes, it bothers me Ryan.
I come here to be anonymous! Lol. On FB, yeaah, it's ok, but not here! Could you please edit it out? Pwease?

[Ryan Heitzman]

Why are you so sassy towards me merry? Geez. You drive me crazy sometimes.

[Ryan Heitzman]

Sorry warriormaden. How do I do that?

[smackie9]

This shit happens when people start dating someone new. There will be changes that we think are unreasonable. There will be interruptions in relationships, and in order to keep their BF or GF happy. there will always they be sacrifices like reducing friendships. What this girl saw was inappropriate behavior by her BF. And you know what I have to agree. There has to be some limitations to what you do together when the person is in a serious relationship. What you two were doing seems innocent enough to you, but what you two were doing is what couples do. It's a fact of life that we all have to face. You have to stop and put yourself in her shoes. You are madly in love with your BF, you come home to him with his arm around another girl that you know as his friend. I bet money on it, friend or not, you would feel pretty enraged too.

Sorry but this is how life goes. He has a new girl in his life and you need to find a new shoulder to cry on because his is taken.

[sweetkissesforu]

Nitter natter jeepers

[damn2010]

She did overreact but she is somewhat justified in asking him to keep distance with you.

If I came home and saw my girlfriend with a dude crying on her shoulder I would be a little pissed off and confused as well. Granted, I'm not the type of person to get instantly angry and call people names...but yes, I'd be angry as well.

Then again, he did put himself in a VERY compromising position that made it look very uncomfortable...so I do understand why she was upset. Guys and girls are ALWAYS a little "iffy" about that one guy/girl "friend" that has been around for years. Because it always has the chance to blossom into something more (which may or may not work out) because you've known each other for years.

Just keep your distance and hopefully after a while you all can bury the hatchet.

[Ryan Heitzman]

It's done Warriormaiden. Your free now.

Sorry Merry. I didn't think about what I was doing again. Sorry.

[MerryH]

Why are you so sassy towards me merry? Geez. You drive me crazy sometimes.

Because you need it.

There's an "edit post" button on the bottom left side of your posts.

It's actually on the right. Hurrr.

[Ryan Heitzman]

I already figured it out Merry. Thanks anyways.

I learn somethin everyday.

[warriormaiden]

Honestly, if it was my boyfriend I would feel a bit strange about it too. But given the situation, that I had red puffy eyes and tear stained face, and he was in the middle of telling me about a life lesson, I would think she would get the idea that, maybe things were not as they had appeared.

And I don't think it's fair that I get to be pushed aside. We've known each other for what, 6, 7 years? If something was going to happen, it would have ALREADY happened. We joke about being bro/sis all the time. I feel like, just like her, I have rights to be within his company.