Why do people want what they can't have?

[LailaK]

I'm curious. This phenomenon fascinates me.

I was in serious lust with this guy for months. I pursued him as much as I could while trying not to seem too desperate. Of course he was able to smell my desperation and he strung me along on a merry chase with no real intentions of being real with me. We haven't talked since March. I was very proud of myself that I was able to break it off cold turkey.

My bf and I recently started telling people that we are together and it took this guy a hot second to start calling, texting, and im'ing me. What is the appeal of chasing after someone who doesn't want you anymore?

[Asip4u]

It's about being wanted, the more people want you the cooler you are. lol..This guy likes the fact you give him attention yet he doesn't feel anything back. It's kinda like having the little book with all the phone numbers and girls you've been with...Similar thing with this, a book of all the chicks that would do you.

Laila, going after someone who doesn't want you, it makes you feel like they're above you and you want to prove that you have accomplished something great by being with them. It's stupid imo because even hottest people have other flaws so who cares.

[cmacattack1]

We like having the options like a security net. As soon as the option goes away, it makes us feel more alone and less secure. Hence him chasing you down again when you don't want him anymore. I think you know that chasing after him again would net you the same result .

[xxazurexx]

Why Do People tend to want what they Can't Have?

I'm unsure I buy the concept.

I tend to want something and because I still want it, not because it may be/or is out of reach.

[lahnnabell]

What a douche. I'm sure that guy uses women and his hookups to make himself feel good about whatever qualities he's lacking. His trying to hook you again is for nothing more than an ego boost. Plenty of guys have a whole routine they pull.

[SirWagginston]

That's bullshit. The next time he contacts you, tell him that he is a huge douchebag for waiting until you got a boyfriend to go after you. He needs to hear it.

[francoatgrex]

I'm curious. This phenomenon fascinates me.
I was in serious lust with this guy for months. I pursued him as much as I could while trying not to seem too desperate. Of course he was able to smell my desperation and he strung me along on a merry chase with no real intentions of being real with me.

He could be doing this on purpose. When something is scarce/unavailable/fleeting we tend to chase after it. I'm sure that guy didn't start his interactions with you by being cold and distant. He probably was attentive and charming in the beginning, but then when he sensed that he got your interest, he started his dirty game.

[SirWagginston]

I'm the opposite. The degree to which I pursue is negatively correlated to the degree of scarcity.

[LailaK]

What a douche. I'm sure that guy uses women and his hookups to make himself feel good about whatever qualities he's lacking. His trying to hook you again is for nothing more than an ego boost. Plenty of guys have a whole routine they pull.

Ding ding ding. You are correct. He is one of those "nice" guys who uses girls to feel like a man. In reality he is retarded. By retarded I mean completely backwards.

[Asip4u]

You say that Laila yet i'm pretty sure that you would STILL go after a guy like that...cause of the great body and all..haha

[LailaK]

-_- So says you and everyone else in my life. I'm perfectly aware that I have horrible taste in men. I'm working on it.

My first order of business is to maintain no contact with this idiot. So far, so good.

[misombra]

actually retarded guys do nothing like what this guy did. it's really strictly a "normal" person thing to do.

[Aeradalia]

Who's to say this guy isn't getting what he wants -- attention.

I think he's getting plenty of it. Might be time to end the whole thing by not giving him any more attention.

[lastwish]

For the same reason you pursued him with desperation in the first place.

[LailaK]

^^^ I don't think so Lastwish. I pursued him with desperation for two reasons 1) He was extremely hot, and 2) I wanted to end a 3 year drought by having sex with him.

I think he is pursuing me now because he is bored, stupid, wants attention, and doesn't like to be ignored.