"Taking a break..."

[gfedcba]

Ok, I'll preface this by saying that this is going to be really long. Anyone that reads this whole post and gives me advice will be GREATLY appreciated:
I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year and a half. We're both 19, and I'm a year and a half out of high school and she graduated a year after me (about 7 months ago). For the first year of our relationship, we lived about 50 miles apart, so we would see each other once or twice a week. This past August she started college at the same college as me, so we are now very close neighbors. We've spent a lot of time together, and it's almost as though we're living together. When we lived far apart, we NEVER fought. Now, it seems that we're always bickering about some stupid little thing. Last night she told me that she loves me very much, but she doesn't know if she's in love with me anymore. She suggested that we back things off a little and basically go to "friend status" for a little while (I asked for how long, but she said she doesn't know). Last night, I didn't really sleep much because I couldn't stop thinking about us and our future. I also thought a lot about what made us drift apart as we have, and I tried to understand the wisdom behind "taking a break." She says that most of it is that she's too immature to have her whole life planned right now, and I understand. When I thought about it, I also realized that this basically was the reason we've drifted apart and bickered so much recently. She has told me that she wants to live "the college life," which to her just entails living on her own, hanging out with friends and having fun, and making her own decisions (her parents were fairly strict, by the way). Most of our fights, I will admit, were caused by my jealousy or self-pity because she often chose friends over me, and didn't seem to want to spend time with me. I now realize that I just needed to back off and let her live her life, and get the "college-living" thing out of her system, so she could be prepared to settle down with me and get married, etc. (I know it sounds weird, but yes, I, the man, am the one that is more ready to get married and have a family). We talked a lot about marriage and I know that it is something she wants, just not right now.
So, I guess here's where I need the advice: I have realized that I need to let her live her life, but should I tell her that? Would that help her decide to end our break, just on the condition that I would be less needy? The only thing that makes me hesitate is that the whole point of this break is to give her space, and I think that if I tell her that I realize my mistake, she might just think I'm trying to say the right things to end the break. I love her SO much, and I can't imagine living my life with anyone else. But at the same time, I can't help but wonder if I might be better off just letting this end now. I don't know how long it will take for her to want to settle down. Should I wait for her to come around, or just do what I can to get over her now and move on?
Again, any help would be appreciated. Thank you in advance!

[Cbrider]

I hate to say it man, buts shes basically trying to tell you shes gonna split to check out the other corners of life in a nice way.

She doesn't want to be in a committed relationship anymore, she feels like shes missing out on something or wont get to see all of life. YOU need to accept that its over for your own good. You need to go out and live the life to, make friends, date around, get drunk and have those moments that will embarrass you every time your best friend brings it up.

Its hard to do but you need to move on and realize that its over whether she says so or not. Even if she just wants to look around and plans on coming back, its not right nor fair to you. You NEVER take a backseat in a relationship to another man. Don't wait, shes seeing if theres something better out there while trying to hang onto you, or shes flat out done. Either way you are best to go poking around in the new sea of fish you're in.

Good luck and keep your head held high, its hard but everything good is.

[AirbenderAang]

I think I agree with everything Cbrider said. This girl looks like she will split soon. I think you should apologize for your jealousy and insecurities because that is the right thing to do. Then I think you should take the break to heart. There are many more fish in the sea. You are young and it sounds like you are fixating on the girl you currently have because you currently have her. She sounds immature and very unprepared for even talking about marriage. Living the college life sounds like a bunch of boozing, hook-ups, flirting, etc. You shouldn't even be talking about marriage and kids with someone who wants rush headlong into that life.

[Gigabitch]

Right now, the only thing you have any control over is how you take the news. She's been very gracious about breaking it to you gently. I suggest you take it like a man and start thinking about how this might be an opportunity for yourself as well.

Who knows- you might get back together in a few years, so don't do anything hateful (doesn't sound like you're that kind of guy, but breakups can bring out the worst in people). Breakups can also really show the best of a person's character. Try to show her the best of yourself, let her go gently and tell her you will always be there for her.