Guys + kids + different mommas = WTF

[starbuck]

This is more of a rant than anything so bear with me here.

So there is another guy I've been talking from an online dating site who I felt had some potential. Let's call him "V" (I wrote a bit about him in another thread) . At first he told me he had one ex-wife with one child who he doesn't get to see that often because the child and mother live far away with a new husband. The revelation raised an eyebrow, but given more details about the situation, I could see myself coming around to feeling like this wasn't a red flag.

Then last night, during a phone conversation with him, I find out that V actually has 3 different kids with 3 different ex-wives and is a parent to NONE of the kids. (Stuff he left out when we first started talking...hmmmm...I wonder why?)

This almost exactly fits the description of that psycho-guy I was talking to over Thanksgiving (the one that told me he hoped my bus would go off the rails...remember him?). He had 3 different kids with different mommas, too. It's almost like these guys all got the same shitty dad playbook.

WTF is up with all these guys? Am I being too harsh in my judgement? I really don't understand the concept of having these children and then just cutting them, or allowing them to be cut, completely out of your life. The only thing I can reallly think about these guys is that they're completely selfish assholes.

They also seem to have the same excuse for not being in their childrens' lives: "Oh *she* won't let me see them". I don't think I buy it. One ex-wife maybe, but ALL THREE? I feel like I'm in a bad Jerry Springer dream and can't wake up!

Am I wrong in thinking this way? As Rachel Maddow says, someone "talk me down."

[Gigabitch]

First of all, I love me some Rachel Maddow.

About these guys, Starbuck, you just have to think of it as an odds game. You're meeting guys online. This necessarily brings with it a very high probability that there will be bozos. You just happened to find two of the same kind of bozo within two months of each other.

Then take into account that if a guy is over 30 and single, there's a reason. It might not be a really bad reason (like having three different babymamas), but there will always be something. ****, people over 30 need SmartCarts for all of their baggage, right?

I wish they all had a complex rating chart attached to their foreheads so we could instantly see if their crap was something we could handle.

There's an absolutely wonderful guy out there for you, Starbie. he's probably finalizing his divorce from some poisonous bitch right now and will need about 6 months of rebound time to get some shit out of his system. In the meantime, you're just keeping yourself entertained watching the clowns try to pass for real men.

[Lipp]

Online Dating - Making sleazy bastards look like Brad Pitt since 1985.

[vashti]

I wouldn't be interested in a guy who'd allow his child to become disconnected. It's sleazy; you are absolutely right. I wouldn't be impressed with multiple mammas, either. It just shows he lacks the responsibility for where he's putting his semen. It isn't that hard to buy a condom, which apparently he doesn't use, which means he is probably chock full of STDs, too.

[starbuck]

Yeah it actually makes me feel physically ill to think about it quite honestly.

[1averagejoe]

Ahh...tried online dating, went on one date. Deleted the account after that.

[Cain]

Ahh...tried online dating, went on one date. Deleted the account after that.

Don't let it do that to you.

I actually met the girl I'm talking to now on the same site you were on. And I've met two from it that turned into a one-time sexual encounter.

[ecojeanne]

sb the 2 guys are probably the same person, on the dating site i used to be on (now banned from!) a lot of people told me that so many people re-register over and over, eejuts, anyway some men suck. it's dissapointing, fck 'em

[Cain]

sb the 2 guys are probably the same person, on the dating site i used to be on (now banned from!) a lot of people told me that so many people re-register over and over, eejuts, anyway some men suck. it's dissapointing, fck 'em

I assumed she's spoken to both on the phone, so unless he can change his voice and his area code, I'm not so sure. I think SB is intelligent enough to discern whether they were the same person or not.

[misombra]

people who have kids with a bunch of different people are just some of the most unappealing people ever.

[starbuck]

I assumed she's spoken to both on the phone, so unless he can change his voice and his area code, I'm not so sure. I think SB is intelligent enough to discern whether they were the same person or not.

Yeah, I talked on the phone with both of them. They're definitely different guys who live in different cities. I rarely meet men like this here. Mainly because it would be hard to have all those kids here in the city. It's way too expensive to make a mistake like that. City people tend to be very paranoid about diseases, too, so we make guys wear like ten condoms at a time (well, not really, but they're careful). At least those are my theories as to why I don't meet these seed-spreading types here.

I'm sure if the sloth had not been sterile, he would have spread his seeds all over the Southwest.

And I'm not saying that the mothers of these children in these scenarios share no fault, but the track records seem to point to the guys being the irresponsible ones here. It's just sad that the children are the ones who may have to bear the brunt of the emotional turmoil.

It's a good lesson for you younger guys out there. The mistakes you may make now could very well affect your future relationships so be careful, guys.

[starbuck]

Don't let it do that to you.

I actually met the girl I'm talking to now on the same site you were on. And I've met two from it that turned into a one-time sexual encounter.

Yeah, I don't know if online dating is the culprit here. I just recently met another guy online who is 32, lives here in NYC, has a great job in finance, and seems pretty cool so far (and no kids).

We haven't hooked up a date yet, because it's very early on in our conversations, but I have a feeling we'll be going on one soon.

[Gigabitch]

If you keep at it, you've GOT to meet a decent one. You've already sifted through a few losers- and you can't get a loser EVERY time, can you?

[IndiReloaded]

Easy bullet dodged, SB. Its the ones who are smart enough not to fess up about these things that you really need to watch out for.

[Only-virgins]

Online Dating - Making sleazy bastards look like Brad Pitt since 1985.

what about lazy bastards?