Broke up.. but should we go for a planned trip together next?

[LosTnLoveD]

My 8-months relationship just ended last week. But it didn't end in good terms. My boyfriend sent a msg to me stating that he wants to break up and he doesn't want to see me anymore. I had tried to patch up or even make arrangements to meet him to talk about it, but he does what he will always do best, which is to avoid it, esp avoiding answering the calls n sms.

He even lied that he had another girl but in the end he said the girl he created was just a fiction. He only wanted me to 'let him go'. In a way, if i don't get an explanation or answer towards y i am treated so, it is very hard to let go, n instead he is not letting me go when he is being like that. He made me more depressed and I had a hard time getting over it that week. I was sad till a point i didn't eat and had severe gastritis problem.

I was depressed as he was being so mean to me. I am trying very hard to forget him, trying to date several guys, but I am still attached to him cos the happy moments we had we really unforgetable and I still miss him alot. There are other guys who are courting me, but i just have no feelings towards them. Maybe it is bcos the chemistry doesnt appear here n i am still in love with my ex-bf.

The MAIN problem now is the both of us had planned for a trip to China together with his family in two more weeks. The last msg he sent was to ask me to go for the trip as everything was paid n we'll be going as friends. When i received that sms, part of me thought there was still hope, but i know when he is determined to break up, he meant it.

If I do go for the trip, i'll be even more devastated as I was looking forward to this trip with him n in the end we r going as friends. The feeling will be so different and I will be awkward as I am not very close with his family members. I am worried that I will feel left out. I'll then be still putting hope of getting back together, which I know it won't come true at all.

If I don't go for this trip, it'll be a waste as he had already paid for the ticket n tour. I am not sure what should I do. I do dream alot. I am the kind of naive girl who still hoped for a lasting rship.

I am sad that he is treating me so. While i was being depressed at home, he enjoyed his time with his friends. He doesn't even bother to care on how am i doing. It seemed like he is a total different person wen we were dating n right now. he is being so cold to me.

It is tough to move on with my life cos I love him and it is not easy for me to even forgot about him. I kept thinking on the times I had with him. It just plays around in my mind.

I do need advice on this. Pls do teach me on what I should do and what would be the best.

[vashti]

Tell him to take someone else. It would be inappropriate for you to go. Forget about the money.

[LosTnLoveD]

I know it is inapporpriate yet part of me do want to go to try to patch up. I know that I am being silly in a way, but it is very hard for me to forget about him.

[King Zarathu]

I didn't read the post, but chances are, vashti is wrong.

[vashti]

Keep your dignity and stay home. In fact, I think you should quit talking to this guy at all. It would help you heal faster.

[vashti]

I didn't read the post, but chances are, vashti is wrong.

It's past your bedtime, youngster.

[LosTnLoveD]

yes. the prob is he always make decision at that spot itself without thinking much. so i am not sure wat should i think.
i did try dating, but the feeling is just not there. i dun feel happy going out at all this moment with any of my friends.

[King Zarathu]

It's past your bedtime, youngster.

You're right, dear. If you were better in bed I would've been in mine 20 minutes ago.

[LosTnLoveD]

still i am very heart-broken. *sob sob* .. i do wanna get back together although i know he is mean. how hard can it be to forget somoene...

[Alex Nova]

Tell him to take someone else. It would be inappropriate for you to go. Forget about the money.

Im with vashti! Dont go... itll ruin his holiday and most importantly you will feel like shit.

Its like getting married when the bride and the groom are no longer together...

//STOP SPAMMING//

[vashti]

Dont go... itll ruin his holiday

I couldn't possibly care less about that, however.

[Mathias]

I couldn't possibly care less about that, however.

Exactly. Why in the world is this important?

[LosTnLoveD]

yea i guess the only option now left is not to go. yet, i still cant forget him. there's some urge in me most of the times to call him but i tried to retain myself from doing so cos i know he'll be very cold to me.

[Alex Nova]

I couldn't possibly care less about that, however.

Ok relax... the world is not just focused around LosTnLoveD here.
If the guy is too stupid to realise that by bringing his ex on a trip would ruin his holiday too, maybe he also needs some advice?

//STOP SPAMMING//

[carbon]

i'm sorry about your breakup. as everyone else has said, do not go on the trip. it would be different if you no longer have feelings for him, but you are still soo in love with him that being close to him will only cause you pain. if he had any insight into your feelings or maturity about the breakup he would not be encouraging you to go.

it's easy to keep the hope that you may get back together when you're so hurt, but the best thing to do is to realize that it is over, start the grieving process and begin to heal. you being near him during this time will only make you hurt more. it's not easy to let go, but we are here to help you along the way. the good memories will always be there but in time you will learn to cherish them and accept them as your past.