Confusion... I dont know what to do with my relationship

[snp0528]

Hi all!

I am in a sticky situation and I really need some advice.
I've been with my boyfriend for about 11 months now. I met him while I was in college my Junior and I knew that he liked me. I had control and I could tell he was working for me. At first I didnt like him, but then I gave him the benefit of the doubt and told him I did. after that point..roles reversed and he starting playing games with me. After about 3 months of this game playing, we stopped talking. Then once 2nd semester hit, I learned that maybe I should play a little game with him. I was never mean to him or ditched him or any of that sorta thing. All I did was give him the idea that I didnt care about him, that I would be his friend, but that there would be no guarantee. We talked again for about 2 more months, but after that point, he caught onto my games and starting playing them back. So by then it was the end of the school year and didnt care anymore, so I started to do my own thing and forgot about him. I was staying at school and I knew he wasnt so I said "screw it..I want to have fun" He lives actually 5 minutes from me at home and we have a lot of mutual friends. thats how we intitially met. Once I went home for the summer after summer school I just decided that I would give it another shot, but this time just be his friend, no hook ups, no expectations. This seemed to work out the best..and now were dating...

At the beginning of the relationship things were really rocky. Never did I once complain to him about how we didnt hang out much. I obviously didnt like the way things were, but I didnt want to let him know that so I never said anything with the hopes of things getting better. We hung out everyday, but it wouldnt be until like 7 or 8. or if we did lunch in between classes we would hang out then, but then not at night. We were really distant with eachother, but I was just taking his lead. He was nice to me when we were together too. Then one night I found out that he cheated on me. Some girl laid one on him at the bar and he went along with it. After that point I told him that since he cheated on me, I know have the right to cheat on him too ( I would never actually do it, I just wanted him to know that whatever he can do, I can do)

So after that point things got better , better and better.....and a real relationship started. we hung out all the time, I was a priority, I never had to worry about what he was doing, i basically felt comfortable. Then the cycle started...
On St. Pat's day a him and I and our friends all went out to he bars. Him and I were going to go get a drink, we I found an open spot at the bar to order and rushed real quickly to the spot so that it wouldnt be taken. Next thing i knew my bf wasnt behind me. anyways, I continued ordering. Once I got my drink I found my bf. He seemed pissed off..and I dunno why. so the first thing he says to me is "3 girls just tried to dance with me" (which I knew was a complete lie..he was just mad at me for some reason) so I said back "oh yah? well 2 dudes just ordered me a drink" and he got so mad and walked away. so we eventually fixed things, but the problem is....I feel like after that point our relationship became like a wave. it goes up and down, up and down all the time.

Its hard to explain how it goes..its like every time we get into an argument started from him, its like he loses respect for me and distances his self. Not like a lot, but for an example. our relationship is really good for about 2 weeks, then we fight, and im not much of a priority for about a week, and I sit back and just let it go and continue to do my own thing and eventually his feelings grow again and then its good...

Now a couple of weeks ago, we got into this huge argument, he told me that he was feeling like I wasnt affectionate enough or that he was always inviting me to places and I wasnt. ( the thing is that, we have different interests. he likes to party, so do I, but my friends dont, so whenever my friends and I are doing something that doesnt interests him, he doesnt want to come, so i've stopped asking him) So after that things have been really really good. I got an internship up in Boston and I am leaving in 2 weeks and he will be going back to school around the same time to finish his last semester. Since, i've told him it seems like all he wants to do right now is spend time with me, but at the same time I only feel like he wants to do that is because I am leaving... The thing is that..I dunno if its worth staying in this realationship when I go to boston. Its just that I feel like his feelings for me go up and down all the time. I dunno if its something that I do that causes it or there are things about me that he doesnt like or whatever. When things are down its not that anything is bad or anything, its just that he seems not to care as much or isnt as eagerd. Like right now, i feel like things are down. He burned himself last night cooking pasta and he was acting like a baby and getting pissed off at everyone (including his dad) that he wanted his arm to not be hurting anymore. So he was taking his frustration out on other people, eventually yelling at me. I just tried to ignore him because I knew he was being a baby about it. but I feel like any other girl would of been like "ok, im leaving...dont talk to me like that" or something.
we've been together for about 11 months and we havent said "I love you" to one another. The only time he calls me his girlfriend when im with him is if were around a group of guys or at the bar. Other then that i'm referred to as my name to other people, including adults. But funny thing is. He will call me his girl friend to, girls, guys, adults, whoever when im not around. I know this because the one girl came up to me at a party once and was like "so chris told me u were his girlfriend and that u went to wshs..i went there tooo" sp thats how i know.

I just cant tell if its going to be worth it, if hes gonna try work for the relationship, if hes gonna worry about me..etc. We have a a great time together, we enjoy doing fun things together, we have good conversations, I feel like we understand eachother in a weird way. Its just that when we get mad at eachother or he gets mad at me or takes frustration out on me...it kinda ruins it.

[IncognitoSir]

You two need to break up and grow up. Niether of you are ready for a relationship. You both lie a lot and play games with each other. How could it work out?

[snp0528]

You two need to break up and grow up. Niether of you are ready for a relationship. You both lie a lot and play games with each other. How could it work out?

I'll admit in the beginning I played a little bit of games, but that was only because he started them and I knew if I said anything to him about playing games, I knew it would just get worse. Eventually, he told me to quit playing games with him ( I guess he got tired) and now it doesnt happen as often, but thats because i've learned to speak up a little bit more and tell him how it is, so i think by me doing that he's beginning to speak up more. But thats the things...I dont want him to play games with me when I am gone....and I dunno if I should put my foot down and tell him "im not dealing with immature bullshit, and that this relationship won't last if that happens"