Hello, my now ex girlfriend of four years just broke up with me and I'm feeling a little sad but at the same time relieved, but a some confusion as well.
Basically, she broke up with me because that last month I have been treating her badly, and I admit that and I have apologized and I was sincere about it. But she hasn't been able to forget and constantly brings it up. I belittled her, judged her, and frankly, made her feel like complete shit. I guess you could say I got what I deserve.
The point is, I still do very much love this girl, I always have. Previous to this we have been good friends for 6 years, so I've already known her for 10 years (We're both 23). She said that she still very much loves me and wants to be in a relationship with me, but is afraid that I'll turn right back into the person I was the last month. So what does this mean? Is it over? She said she sees us reconnecting in the future but you see, I'm not just going to sit here waiting for her, I'm a grown man.
I just personally think I should end it but it hurts because I'm a loving dude. I think I should just tell her straight up to her face that I'm done playing games and its either she wants me or she doesn't because there are better girls that I could be dating but instead, I'm here putting up with her crap. I need to be SERIOUS, no lovey dovey crap! Be the alpha male that I can be and show that I wont be used.
So could I get some advice here? Tips? Anything would be greatly appreciated. I love this girl I honestly do, but I am not a door mat. And I am not just going to sit here being treated like some kind of toy she can decide to play with whenever she wants or just keep me to the side.