saving her.

[memento]

Me and this girl, Nicole, have known each other for about a month. The first couple of weeks were full of making out, getting drunk, having fun, etc. Of those first two weeks, we were only officially in a relationship for the latter week. We ended up getting into a drunken argument after the first week of our relationship and decided it would be best if we were just friends. Which was a reasonable conclusion, I think, considering how fast we rushed into a relationship.

Anyway, it's important to note that before me, Nicole was in a relationship with this guy Brian for about a year. Things ended for them on a bad note, and Brian would always call her and want to do things with her while she was with me. He would send her these love letters and tell her that he loves her, wants to marry her, etc. Whatever, she always blew it off. She told me some pretty ****ed up things about this Brian guy, and always referred to the fact that she hated him. But, after our little argument and breakup, she turned back to Brian. She ended up getting back together with Brian. When she told me this, I got a little upset and felt a little betrayed, but whatever. It's her life, right?

The thing is, every single night since she's told me this, she's called me or text messaged me wanting to hang out or talk about how Brian is being an asshole again. She's always in tears on the phone and wanting to see me. I keep coming up with things to put it off, because I don't really know what to do. Why does she keep telling me all of these things? Last night we were on the phone for hours talking about various things. What struck me as odd is that she was on the phone with me until 6 in the morning and not Brian. She seems to have realized that Brian hasn't changed at all but that she is stuck with him. She works with him at a country club, and he bothers her all of the time there. Quitting her job isn't really in the cards, because it's a decent paying job and she drives her brother to work there and another job could result in conflicting work schedules, etc. Brian would never get fired because he's apparently buddy-buddy with the management. She wants to get out of this relationship, but he never lets go of her. He treats her like crap when he's got her, but when she's gone it's empty promises all over the place.

She told me last night that she wished that I could save her from all of this. But, what am I supposed to do? I've never met this guy, and I can't tell her to do anything drastic like quit her job. And, honestly, I feel like kind of a doormat. If everything was going fine with her and Brian, I'd be completely out of the picture, but it's not, so she's come back to me. I want to help her, though, and I still have strong feelings for her. But I really don't know what to do here. If she breaks up with him, he's just going to go back to bothering her at work. It's ****ed up.

It's come down to the fact that I want her, she wants me, but she's stuck in this situation. I don't know what to do and it's starting to get to me. I try to stay indifferent, but I wish this problem would go away and her and I could return to laying in her bed, holding each other. Sorry if this isn't too great of a summation of the story. I may have left out some important details, but the jist should be in here.

What should I do? Can I save her from this mess? Should I save her?

[Gigabitch]

You can't save her. She's doomed to be a manipulative drama queen.

Okay, maybe it's not that bad, but YOU'RE doomed if you let her do this. There is no reason why she can't just leave Brian for good, and no reason why you should try to get back together with her if she doesn't.