I feel pathetic, and would like some advice.

[Neo(n)]

Hey. I don't wanna write a stupidly long post about this so ill keep it very basic, feel free to ask any questions about this if needs be.

Ok, basically i hate myself, i hate who i am, i hate how i look, i hate how i act, i hate how i am with people, i hate how im shy, i hate how stupid i am, i hate not being able to tlk to new people, i hate pretty much everything about myself.

I can't seem to do anything right and i always end up feeling really depressed becasue i just feel like such a fail of a person. Sometimes i feel like there's no point because i'm so worthless that there's no point wasting time trying to better myself, as i know it'll never work. I feel so empty and alone as if im just this pointless thing that is wasting oxygen.

But overall the thing i hate most is how weak i am as a person. I hate myself yet, i could never bring myself to commit suicide. i know i'm not happy but i keep convincing myself that it's better to be unhappy and know where i am then to expose myself to unfamilear events and stuff that will probably make me feel better. I hate that im such a weak person.

I tried drinking to give myself confidence to talk to people, but i end up being too nervouse and i just keep drinking to try and make myself more confident, but it always ends up with me drinking too much and either throwing up or getting violent. So that wasn't a good idea.

I was hoping some of you would know something i could do, i have tried so much to pull myself together but i can't seem to initiate anything which could help me. I know talking to random people is a good way to get more used to tlking to them, even making small talk in a shop with a randomer about a film they are buying is an impossible taks for me.

I believe my main problem is that i think i'm too much of a fail to be able to do anything right so i can't physically bring myself to do it becasue i constatly have my subconsciouse shouting " nah, it's not worth it, leave," at me.

Do any of you know what i could do to get myself on the right path to sorting myself out?

Thanx for reading
-N

[Gigabitch]

Find a solid accomplishment you can reasonably finish and do it. Start building your confidence with something small. Are you good at anything?

[Spaz1one1]

Ok, suicide is definitely not an option. Life ALWAYS gets better. Perhaps this is just one of those periods of times when everything seems wrong. Be strong, my friend, everything will turn out fine.
I see one problem with you is your self-esteem. Be more confident. You don't like the way you look? Change the way you look. You don't like the people you know? Find people you will like. If you don't like the way you act, then act differently. YOU are the only person in control of yourself. You are the only one who can make these changes, and believe me, they can happen. But never give up. Ever.

[lovesjoyajm]

First of all, I'm sorry for whatever circumstances led you to this terrible place. That really sucks.

The bad news is, it will take some hard work and putting yourself outside your comfort zones in order to change your life and yourself. The good news is, you CAN, and the better news is, it's worth it! Remind yourself that you only have so many years to live, and don't take that as something scary, or a warning, take it as a way to be free of your fear. If you take a risk and it doesn't pan out, it's not the end of the world. This life is what you make of it, and lots of people have crappy circumstances they can't really get around, but I think you can do it.

You need to identify the problems, all of them - write them down - and figure out ways to fix them. Don't be too hard on yourself. Keep challenging yourself with new (uncomfortable) experiences, and keep improving yourself through education and exercise and charitable work. Think of who you want to be, and be that person! Don't give yourself any time to be distracted by who you were!

And, as far as failing at talking to people - I got some great advice the other day. Act. Be an actor. I don't mean be fake. When you anticipate uncomfortable situations, practice what you'll say, and then just say it - forget the nerves, you're just a guy on a stage and none of this is real. Sometimes looking in on yourself as an "outsider" can be enlightening. And often amusing.

[Spaz1one1]

How old are you, by the way?

[Neo(n)]

thanx for the replies everyone, i'm gona try get the most out of this that i can.

Find a solid accomplishment you can reasonably finish and do it. Start building your confidence with something small. Are you good at anything?

I'm not really sure, i haven't done many hobbies outside of school/college. i did cadets for a few years, joined a weightlifting club for a few weeks and taekwando for a few weeks, but all the stuff i join i don't normally end up staying at for very long. I have held a part time job down for a year so far, and don't see mysefl leaving for a while which is good but it's not really a hobby.

I have always wanted to learn an instrument, like guitar or drums, mainly guitar so i can play accoustically to ppl.

You need to identify the problems, all of them - write them down - and figure out ways to fix them. Don't be too hard on yourself. Keep challenging yourself with new (uncomfortable) experiences, and keep improving yourself through education and exercise and charitable work. Think of who you want to be, and be that person! Don't give yourself any time to be distracted by who you were!

And, as far as failing at talking to people - I got some great advice the other day. Act. Be an actor. I don't mean be fake. When you anticipate uncomfortable situations, practice what you'll say, and then just say it - forget the nerves, you're just a guy on a stage and none of this is real. Sometimes looking in on yourself as an "outsider" can be enlightening. And often amusing.

wrighting everything down, maybe making a check list sounds like a good idea, that way i would have something solid to live my life arround.

And i like tha actor idea, i've always thought situations would be easier if there was relevant music in the background, probably from watching movies. but if i do the actor thingy it might just take the stress of of situations.

How old are you, by the way?

i'm 18 btw, and one of the reasons this has gotten worse recently is becasue i'm owrried i'm gona end up as a loner when i reach uni, and end up that way for the rest of my life =(


Ps: doing psychology makes thinking through these problems easier, but i swear it makes you more likely to think you have psychological problems. which i personally think is a good think as it helps to identify stuff so you can sort it out.

[Roymax]

What you feel inside can be a reflection of who you will become. It's what you believe in that will project the outcome. If you constantly project thoughts and feelings of yourself as being pathetic in many areas of your life to the point your're convinced then yes, you are going to lower yourself esteem for no good reason. When I was over weight at 336 lbs my self esteem was very very low because I kept having thoughts of believing that and did nothing about it at the time. Then one day I decided to wake up and put my foot on the ground because I was sick and tired of feeling over weight and unattractive. So I went ahead and gave my self a challenge. I joined a big gym. I was very determined. I went from doing 15 minute walks on a tread to 6 aerobic type classes every week. During those months I have lost so much weight that more opportunities began to open for me. I decided to train for races after losing 122 lbs. I began making new friends at the gym classes and got lot's of support. Even one of the aerobics instructor tried to hit on me for a date but had to turn her down because I was married at the time. I even had few of them ask me for help in how to conduct one of their classes. I never knew what it was like to have such charisma but it sure felt great that it propelled my self esteem even higher. However, I did remind my self not to let my over confidence project me as being a snob which is one of the reasons why I've got a lot of respect there. Over confidence can also become a weakness in one's character. My mindset became very different compared to who I was. You begin to think like a winner and not looking back. I eventually went from the slowest person in my class to being the second fastest. After losing 122 lbs the gym interviewed me for my story. Out of 1,600 members I became member of the month as the word got out about my success. When you walk in through the entrance to this day you will see my before and after photo. People from all over were asking how I did it. One of the first things I tell people is that you've got to change your mindset by doing things out of the goodness of your heart and stay very focused on the objective because your life depends on it. Put your heart into, believe and you can achieve just about anything.

You take a problem and improve on it by making it better. That's what I did which lead me going 336 lbs to becoming an athlete doing 4 triathlons and 2 mini marathons. The longest I ran was 52 miles because it came from my heart believing I could do it. I wouldn't have been able to accomplish those objectives if I were walking around looking for pity or believing how pathetic I was. You have to change your way of thinking. When it comes to being an athlete I believe my confidence level is on a on a different plane because of it coming from my heart. Never back down to let anyone or yourself convince you that you have to settle for less when you have untapped potential. Discover it by staying very focused without letting anything distract you. Sit down with a piece of paper and write down each category of your life (ie..health, relationships, dating, finances etc.) and identify the problems areas. Discover ways on how you can go from here to there by making some changes in your life. I've been very successful when it came to my health but there are some categories of my life I need work on still as I am not a perfect person. Dating is one of them because I've been out of the scene for 11 years. Make some goals, do it and don't look back.

One of my favorite inspired quotes:

"If you are willing to do for a year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's can't." - pot pie girl

So true...so true

[NeoSeminole]

hi Neo, stop making excuses and accepting defeat. The difference between winners and losers is that winners don't give up.

[AustinGuy]

Exercise for SURE. I was really down for about 3 months...mostly just feeling bad or myself. Really keep at it 3-4 days per week, alternating between lifting and aerobic exercises and the world will change around you. Promise. But only if you try it! Thinking about it will do nothing.