Really Need Help With My Crush

[rocknrollchick5]

(I apologize, this is a pretty long story, but it's really important and I really need some advice!) I have a crush on our really hot piano player who plays for my school's chorus that I'm in. I've known him for about a year ('cause I was in the chorus last year too) and he knows that I exist. When we had our 3 chorus concerts, I'd always go over and talk to him. I remember when I had my very first one last year, I went right over to him and said hi and we instantly started talking. Then during our second concert last year before we came out to sing, we were all just hanging around the building, and he came over to me and smiled and we just started chatting about random stuff for like 10 minutes 'cause then we had to go warm up. (and I remember I happened to be very nervous that night because it was in a church, and I'm scared of churches. (don't ask, long story) and he had noticed that I was nervous, and he smiled at me and told me everything was gonna be ok and he made me feel better.) Then at our last concert which was at the college graduation, we had to sit in the cafeteria until it was time for us to come out and perform. When it was time to perform, we all walked out and I remember he walked out next to me and during the whole walk out he was telling me these really funny jokes and making me laugh really really hard. We finally got outside and sat down in our chairs. During the graduation ceremony there were speakers, and other random singers and stuff before us, and in between each segment, we had to stand and then sit down again. During the very last segment before we had to perform, he sat next to me and we talked again and he made a couple more funny jokes with me. After the graduation was over, it was summer break and I didn't see him for 4 months. Then just last week was our first rehearsal of this year and I saw him again. (our director/my teacher wanted every member of the chorus class to introduce themselves to the rest of the community members. I am in the class so I had to introduce myself. When my classmates were introducing themselves, my crush would look around to see who each person was. Then when I introduced myself, he looked at me, and I smiled at him and said hi. He smiled and said hi back to me.) Then when rehearsals were over and everyone was getting up to leave, I saw these 3 old ladies go over and start talking to him. I'm guessing these are his friends or something (I'm 95% sure he's not married. I'm guessing he's in his 40's, but I've always been attracted to guys who are twice my age, even when I was little. (like when I was 5 or 6 I was attracted to guys who were in their late 20's. That's just what I like) So, as these old ladies are talking to him and I'm getting ready to leave, I looked over at him and I wanted to go over there so badly and talk to him, like ask him how his summer was and stuff. But at the same time I didn't want to seem like I was intruding in on his conversation that he was having with those women. I just feel like that's rude. So I just walked out of the room. I would've waited around, but my mom was waiting out in the parking lot and it was around 9 pm. I am a very, very shy person and it is really hard for me to have the courage to go up and talk to someone, especially in a group of people. I really, really like this guy a lot, but I'm so nervous to go up and talk to him if he's in a random group of people. I would give absolutely anything to have the courage to go up and talk to him and have the fun conversations like we did last year. I would also really like to tell him that I like him and I would (at least) like to be his friend. I'm so incredibly flustered and nervous! What should I do?

[Spiderguy252]

It sounds like it's working both ways and you're the only one who has hit the pause button. I'd say it's up to you now, to take it forward. Talk with him whenever you get the opportunity, obviously he's not averse to that idea nor will he be taken aback. I'd say he's expecting it.

Cheers and good luck!

[MerryH]

Aw, he sounds really sweet. Like a really, really nice teacher-type. But that's it.

It's so normal to have a crush on an older teacher-type. I had a silly crush on my high school English teacher and at the time I could have sworn up and down that he showed signs of the same. I wanted to believe! But looking back now, I can see that he was just trying to be a good influence and do his job as a teacher/authority figure. That's probably what this guy is trying to do. You have to understand, though, that these crushes will not and can not lead to more. It just wouldn't be right.

So put the crush aside because you know it can't go anywhere, and go talk to him and have fun conversations. Do not tell him you like him.