My boyfriend won't come to my home town with me. Any thoughts?

[c_bunnie]

I've been seeing a guy for 6 months, we're both 23, and I want him to come home to my home town with me. I've broached the question a few times but he is totally dead set against the idea. I don't know if it's because we'll be staying in my parents house but he has met them before so I don't get his problem there. I spend all my time with him and his friends. I don't get to go home much due to work so I'd like him to come with me to meet my friends and hang out and go out. He says that if we go then he doesn't want to spend the night which I don't get because my parents are perfectly cool with that. They're not formal at all and they would think it was weird if we didn't spend the night. Is this some kind of commitment phobia thing? Because if it is it's stupid as a) he already said we're exclusive and b) I'm moving to a different country soon

[Primo]

I'd imagine that sleeping in your parents house doesn't sound like a very thrilling proposition, even though he's met them and they are easy going.

Ask him if he'll go if you stay at a hotel while you're there, see what he says.

[Dogtoast]

yeah staying at a GF's parents house is just an odd situation. As cool as they probably are, he'll still feel akward.

[c_bunnie]

Yeah I suppose. I guess I didn't really think about it that much. I mean it's my home so I'm comfortable there so I don't care about having sex there. I'll talk to him about it

[shheadz]

You said in another thread that he's basically a pretty selfish guy. He might not want to go simply because he doesn't want to go. Spending a weekend at another person's house -- parents or not -- can sometimes be boring. I personally like sleeping in my own bed, and being able to walk around my house in my underwear, and watching my own TV, etc. Being at someone else's house just isn't as comfortable.

But I put up with it for my girlfriends, because I'm not that selfish. It doesn't sound like there's some deeper issue here, such as fear of commitment. He's just being selfish.

[c_bunnie]

You're right he is being selfish but we talked and I think he just needed a good poke to wake him up to the consequences of his behaviour. He's used to being independent (as am I) so this sharing/ couple thing is new to both of us.

[lovedoctor007]

He probably doesn't want to commit because meeting your parents it's a really big step, he has his own vision of how parents are

[jellybean13]

It sounds like he may be trying to pull away from you. Maybe because you're moving out of the country soon. If I were in that situation I would think long and hard about wanting to get to know my bfs family and friends on that level if I were completely uncertain about where things were heading.