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Thread: Boyfriend of 2 years isn't in love with me anymore

  1. #1
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    Boyfriend of 2 years isn't in love with me anymore

    He told me a few days ago that he doesn't love me like he used to love me anymore.
    We talked about it and decided to stay together for now, but to change some things.
    He says that his life would stay the same with or without me in it, or at least that's what he thinks. He also doesn't know if he's just too stressed lately because his car that he just went 40k into debt for isn't running properly.
    He also said that there's a 50/50 chance he could fall back in love with me that that all depends on how hard I try to make it work.

    I'm so stressed. I want this to work so bad and he says he wants us to work out, too. He's just tired of my shit.. Which I don't blame him for.
    It just kills me knowing that we went from him wanting to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me to him wanting to leave me.
    He still says that I'm his other half and that he's not interested in finding another girl if we broke up, too.

    Basically, I was wondering if anyone else had experienced the same "fall out of love" thing that he's experiencing and if you were able to work though it?
    Last edited by Flyleaf; 15-07-11 at 03:41 AM.

  2. #2
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    Falling out of love essentially means its over. Look at what you just told us.

    He thinks his life will be the same with or without you.
    He could fall in love with you depending on how hard YOU try? Seriously. . .

    He is staying with you for the security of it, and probably for the sex too. But it looks like the timer is going, this will end.
    "All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley

  3. #3
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    He also said that there's a 50/50 chance he could fall back in love with me that that all depends on how hard I try to make it work.
    Re-read that statement. Then re-read it again. Keep re-reading it until you realize that he is being a controlling, manipulative ass who is blaming everything on you. Even though there are two people in the relationship. While you may have some "shit" that he is tired of, I am sure that he has some "shit" that you should be tired of. For example, his manipulative and shitty control attempts (re-read above).

    If you still do not see it, re-read it again while clanging yourself in the head with a frying pan. Because that is what he is doing to you.
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  4. #4
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    Your relationship is OVER - accept this and move on. To be honest he sounds like a real shit so he's not a big loss.

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    Not much else to say here...
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  6. #6
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    I have experienced it, being the one who fell out of love. I did go from wanting to marry someone, to leaving them then and there because they did not make a difference in my life, did not make it better, while I was making efforts to move forward. I loved them but the fact that they made me so unhappy and weren't able to change what caused it, just made it all go away.

    In your case, you say "He's just tired of my shit.. Which I don't blame him for."

    So you know there is a part of you he's having trouble putting up with, and that you can't really seem to change. If it weren't for him, would you think there is really something to change about you? It will only work out if you agree with him about changing those certain things, and if you agree that they are things that SHOULD change.

  7. #7
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    This is the best reply yet and should consider the words the most. I don't think it's over, make sure he's not just controlling u, u seem to think he's being a honest man and if so then find out what he doesn't like that u admit u do. Just change it if it's a responsibility, or more serious issues, drink too much get help even, or maybe it's childish things that built up of time, name calling, etc. Good video to rent or watch Fireproof, not trying to speak the Gospel but watch it, incerible insight of how two are in a marriage or relationship. It may prove to help. Hope it does because I'd like to hear it work out. Best of luck to u both working it out.

    Quote Originally Posted by celestina View Post
    I have experienced it, being the one who fell out of love. I did go from wanting to marry someone, to leaving them then and there because they did not make a difference in my life, did not make it better, while I was making efforts to move forward. I loved them but the fact that they made me so unhappy and weren't able to change what caused it, just made it all go away.

    In your case, you say "He's just tired of my shit.. Which I don't blame him for."

    So you know there is a part of you he's having trouble putting up with, and that you can't really seem to change. If it weren't for him, would you think there is really something to change about you? It will only work out if you agree with him about changing those certain things, and if you agree that they are things that SHOULD change.

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