Going out with a taken guy

**R.alexa** · 19-12-12, 08:14 AM

Hey everyone!

Normally I would never share my personal issues with strangers, but I'm reaaally confused.. so why not.

About six months ago, I changed my work place, and noticed that one of the guys I was working with was really cute, we clicked right from the beginning, starting hanging out, went to places and parties together. I even met his girlfriend. we kept on making jokes all the time, guffing around and even flirting from time to time. I always thought he was hot but kinda coped with the idea of him being taken. and then one night after finishing together a late shift, we kissed. after that things just went on really fast and less than a month later we had sex. should I mention it was the best one I ever had? everything was perfect for both of us, on so many levels. the problem is though that it wasn't just sex, he slept over that night, we had wine and cuddled, so it managed to be romantic somehow. now since then we keep on doing one step forward and two steps back. we often talk about how wrong this is, and still how we just continue on doing it. there's a lot of attraction, but I think I'm falling for him. from what he says and does I'm tempted to believe he might be also. still he has no intention of leaving his girl (with whom he's been for 2 years), keeps me in the shadow (and that is affecting my ego) and just drags things on, hence confusing both of us.

I know I like him too much to continue just enjoying the sex and everything without thinking of the future plus I feel like an ass since I'm the bit** that got involved in someone else's relationship.
is there any way I can make this work, 'cause I really want to, or should I just let it go?

I need a man's advice because we girls can't really get into your head, and knowing what he might think is IMPORTANT right now

**Wakeup** · 19-12-12, 08:43 AM

You said it yourself.. You're the bitch that got involved in someone else's relationship. How sad will you be when you spend Christmas alone while he enjoys the holiday with the girl that he shows to his family and friends? This is your life.. don't you think you're worth more than being someone's bit on the side?

Anyway, you ask if theres anyway you can make this work. There's only one way to find out and that's to ask him to leave her and see what his answer is. That is the only way you'll know what's going through his head. What other men think MIGHT be going through his head won't do anything to help you "make this work."

**Love'sReject** · 19-12-12, 08:44 AM

You're just sex on the side. Does that feel good? You're just a 2nd vagina he can ****.

**R.alexa** · 19-12-12, 09:10 AM

it didn't bother me at the beginning because I was just going with the flow and enjoying us. but now my feelings are changing and my ego kept on saying what you guys just wrote so I guess I have to do the right thing and finish it. and then if he realizes what we had was important he'll have to make a decision and maybe it will work. thank you for the wake'up call though. when you're getting into something like this it's really easy to forget boundaries and become naive.

**Fruitsss** · 19-12-12, 05:55 PM

Ego? You spread your legs as soon as possible and with other peoples bf and u talk about affecting your ego?

Slut pleaseeeeeeeee!

I think people like u really need to be fired right away. You go to work to act professional and to work.
But first thing u do is get to a colleague and sex with him.

U have any kind of morals. U need to start having some self respect.
U did something wrong stop digging deeper in the mess. Stop it!

He shore will not interested in you as a person. But u was just good for some sex!

**haxan** · 19-12-12, 06:18 PM

Is there any way you can make it work? No. If he was swept away by you, he already would've dumped his g/f and you'd be a couple. I agree with you, it is a hit on the ego, because you weren't good enough to get him to leave his girlfriend. You have to deal with that, it was your choice.

**Guybrush** · 20-12-12, 06:43 AM

Originally Posted by Fruitsss

Ego? You spread your legs as soon as possible and with other peoples bf and u talk about affecting your ego?

Slut pleaseeeeeeeee!

Frankly, I think that is disrespectul and uncalled for. The OP is not the morally responsible party. The guy is the one cheating on his girlfriend. He is the slut here.

You have obviously had a good time, and that is probably all you will and should gain from this experience.

The question you should be asking yourself is: Do you really want to have a serious relationship with this guy? If you did, how long would it take before you would start worrying about whether he was treating you the way he is treating his current girlfriend? Your relationship would be doomed to suffer from trust issues forever.

Don't blame yourself for enjoying a good time with a lover, but for a partner in life you should aim for someone with higher moral standards.

**Love'sReject** · 20-12-12, 06:47 AM

Originally Posted by Guybrush

Frankly, I think that is disrespectul and uncalled for. The OP is not the morally responsible party. The guy is the one cheating on his girlfriend. He is the slut here.

She's complicit in cheating; it isn't as though she wasn't aware he had a girlfriend.

**Wakeup** · 20-12-12, 06:50 AM

Don't blame yourself for enjoying a good time with a lover, but for a partner in life you should aim for someone with higher moral standards.

Please! You forget that she wouldn't have to either blame herself or forgive herself if she had the good sense to step away from a man that was already in a relationship. You give her a pass for her own piss-poor actions that has ended her up being lonely and longing. Yes, blame yourself for at least that much, OP.

**Guybrush** · 20-12-12, 06:56 AM

Still, suggesting that it is the OP's fault by "spreading her legs" like the guy had no choice but to sleep with her makes no sense. The one who is attached has the greater responsibility for maintaining the integrity and boundraries of his own relationship.

But that is beside the point. Fact remains that he has proven not to be of relationship material, therefore the OP should be careful about pursuing anything serious.

**Wakeup** · 20-12-12, 06:59 AM

Oh, I agree with you. Fruitssss is a vile and annoying troll and what she said was unecessary. She put zero blame on the male in this situation.

The one who is attached has the greater responsibility for maintaining the integrity and boundraries of his own relationship.

thats your personal opinionion and of course, you're welcome to it, Guy but she should blame herself for her own actions... that's all I'm saying. She now needs to learn the lesson, forgive herself and move on from him.

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