Am I moving too fast? 20yo with a lil story looking for advice!

[SyrinxAstro]

Hi,

First off, let me say that I really have no experience with girls. I didn't date through high school because I'm pretty shy, so now I'm pretty clueless about my relationship with a certain girl.

We met when she randomly approached me at a "zine" fair (a bit like a small convention for comics/zines) and asked if I'd be attending a weekly meeting for local artists (she said she would be). Well I started to go to these meetings and we became pretty good friends (we have a lot of common interests)... she's only slightly younger than me and seems pretty shy as well.

Anyway, I've tried to take it slowly and keep my cool, but I do like her a lot and now I feel like I'm rushing a relationship, and the last thing I want to do is scare her off or weird her out. She and I have hung out a couple of times... we went to another convention together, I took her to see a movie, we went to a museum and saw a laser light show.

Now recently we met up before our usual weekly meeting and went to a comic store where the topic of vinyl LP's came up (I know this is getting very specific, bear with me), and I let slip that I ordered her a vinyl record of her favorite band for christmas and that I'd planned to give it to her that day (but it hadn't come in the mail yet). I asked her to see a movie with me that night and she tentatively agreed earlier, but had to bail last-minute because she decided it was too late.

So, next day the present arrived in the mail and I asked her to see a different movie with me (both of these were once-in-a-blue-moon screenings of old favorites) that day. Looking back on it I think this must have been too soon. She made another tentative plan that didn't work out on her end, so the next day after that I very plainly asked if she had any free time the following week to get together (At this point I was partially motivated by wanting to give her the present and wanting to see her before she left town for winter break, which is like a month and a half long). She replied reminding me that we'd just gotten together a couple of days ago, and said she has a lot to do and just wants to make it to winter break and go home.

Am I blowing it? XD
The majority of our conversation happens on text-messaging programs where it's tough to figure out the other person's real reactions, but I tend to expect the worst. I probably accelerated a bit too eagerly... but how should I be from here on out? How much should I cool my jets? Should I still email/call her over break or should I give her some time to herself (I tend to email/chat with her every couple of days usually). I'd really appreciate some advice! Thanks!

[SyrinxAstro]

-bump-!

Do you have any input for me?

[Lite]

Sounds like she thinks of you as a friend, and not much more I'm afraid. You need to relax, and probably let her contact you. The fact that she isn't making definite plans is a pretty good indication that you're not a priority for her, and as such I'd take that as a hint.

Give her the record with no strings attached, and go on. If she contacts you, great, if not... Well it sucks and hurts to be rejected but it happens and you'll get over it.

Best advice I can give about dating is simply be yourself, and be positive that you'll find someone who can accept you for who you are. You might also want to take a deep look at yourself and figure out if there are things that you might need to fix. Self esteem, self worth issues, etc.

Some of us are a bit more awkward and strange than others. Some of us are just damaged. Some of us just don't socialize too well with strangers.

We all have things to overcome, but we shouldn't have time for people who don't have time for us when it comes to dating. Maybe she truly is too busy, and will have more time later. Or, maybe it's an excuse because she's afraid of hurting your feelings.

Even if you like each other, unless you're also a priority for one another, nothing good will come of it in the long run.

[vashti]

I agree with Lite, my friend. It sounds like she is trying to discourage you from pursuing her. I'd back way off on the contact, and find something else to fill your time. Don't make any special trips to give her the record, either. Just hang on to it until you happen to run into each other (maybe keep it in the trunk of your car?).

[SyrinxAstro]

That sounds like some really good advice. I'm going to just be passive about it from here on out and see if she tries to make contact. Boy, giving her that record might be awkward. >_<