Story goes: We were together 5 years, last 2 years off and on very rocky. Broke up last november. Contact initiated by me last june. She has a new guy since last january. We fool around a few times and shes kind of torn about this, not sure if its right. I work on it a bit to stay in contact, sometimes she wouldn't speak to me for a week at a time, but July 16 we moved to different cities. Me Houston, her Dallas. She wants to be back with me but doesn't yet forgive me. Read this email she sent me August 10 AFTER telling me we should move on and go our seperate ways in a previous email:

""""So, I need to release my thoughts somewhere. I don�t expect a response, but I know what I�ve been missing.



I miss those overwhelming feelings � I can�t really explain those feelings, but here�s a start.



When I was with you, I felt like nothing could stop us. I felt that you and me together could take over the world. You sparked ideas in me and I did so for you, and I know it would just continue to grow. I�m not sure what that feeling was, but I felt like we were an indestructible and unstoppable force.



I also felt secure. I knew that if you told me to jump, I would do so because somehow you knew it was for the best. I know that if we had no money, you would think of some way to make sure I was taken care of. I also know that you would continue to do things to the best of your ability to make me smile.



I know that you would make me happy. We would continue to be adventurous, try new things, and although some new territories may be scary, we would help each other make it through.



There was only one important thing I didn�t get from you. I didn�t feel that I made you happy. I felt that being who I was made you stressed. I didn�t ever feel that you were proud of me, so I continued to stress myself, change myself in order to make you happy and proud.



I do believe you have changed, and more importantly I know you would make me happy, but you�re right� I still am not able to forgive, yet.



It�s sad because what I�ve found in my new relationship is that I make him proud, happy, and not stressed.



What I haven�t found is that rush of overwhelming feelings & emotions, that excitement, the security, being able to trust someone with my most intimate ideas, thoughts, etc, being able to think and express thoughts freely, being an unstoppable force. I truly miss those feelings. I miss that high, that rush.



I hate this because I�ve gained one thing, but lost all of the rest.""""

After sending me this I thought it was the door opening for me to push and get her back. But she wouldn't respond to my texts, emails or calls up until yesterday, Sept 3. So she left me hanging for a good 3 weeks until she finally called me back. We chatted casually, she's still with this other guy. I didn't bring up getting back together or anything, I didn't want to pressure her. She's going on a trip with this guy to Chicago next weekend.

I'd like some insight into this last email she sent me. Obviously she's very torn about what she wants. I think the best thing would be to wait it out, see if she contacts me on her own more often. But she's busy with a new job thats taking off quickly for her and probably doesn't allow herself to think about me too much.

She almost came to visit me but would talk herself out of it.

What to do?