Complicated situation

[alpha142]

There is this girl im head over heels in love with, we went on 3 or 4 dates, and she seemed really into me but someone she knew asked her out and she said yes, I was heart broken when she told me sorry. They were in a relationship for 3 months, but he had a bad history of drugs and sleeping around/cheating on previous girlfriends.

I have tried to remain friends with her despite kind of leading me on but maintain my distance. I had a really big confidence meltdown after she went for him, I had trouble reconciling that she would go for him when he has a pretty bad history, is poor, short and fat over me.

She recently received an anonymous message that said he had herpes, she had not slept with him yet and confronted him, they got into a fight about him hiding it, and he broke up with her. So far I have just said that Im sorry for your situation and anything I can do to help she should let me know.

I had just started to get over her when this happened, I think I could accept her not wanting to date me again, even though I would like that. But I want to know what I can do make sure that she does not end up back with him. Also I would like to know how much should I reach out to her and how much should I let her contact me.

[Zabs]

Do you really want to be second choice? People have issues of all sorts but you cannot change people only the way you behave towards them. Be a friend if that's what you can be...but don't if you can't. Ths only feeds insecurities and infects trust later on. Zabs xx