So my bf and I have had a tough couple of weeks.
I have suffered from depression on and off over the years. I was doing really well, but have relapsed in the past month and it has been very tough. It has also put a strain on my relationship - I've been very emotional and overreacting to some of his comments, comments I'd normally be fine with. We had three weekends of big arguments that ended in me being really upset, and him feeling frustrated, misunderstood, exhausted. At the same time, he has been trying to support me through the depression.
He has had quite a lot of stress lately, also. He got the flu, moved house, and flooded the new apartment, damaging the new carpet.
We're both extremely busy people and it is always a challenge to find time together, but we do.
Anyway, he went to a work function the other night, got incredibly drunk, called me at 1am and left a message. He was crying. He told me he was worried about us. Said he'd been having doubts, but had been internalising them because he didn't want to upset me further. He said he wanted to be honest, wanted to 'fix things' and 'make it better'.
It took everything within me not to freak out when I received this. I wanted to show him that I respected his honesty and could deal with this calmly. He texted me first thing the next morning with "Oh shi.t I left a crazy drunk message on your phone, please don't freak out, i'll call you in an hour"
When we spoke, he apologised and said he'd been feeling down about the arguments. He said that it lead him to doubt the relationship somewhat, and he felt that he wasn't being heard. He started to resent the fact that, when we argue, I often get upset and cry, so he comforts me, but doesn't get to express his own feelings. But he said that he wants to work on it, and we discussed ways we can deal with conflict better. I also promised that I'd get some help with my depression.
In the meantime, he has been doing some reading about depression to understand how it might be impacting on my judgment, and how he can support me through it without ignoring his own need. He said he loves me and isn't going anywhere, but wanted to be completely honest with me about his feelings.
I feel like I've done a bit of damage to this relationship, which saddens me greatly, because I know a lot of it is down to my depression. I'm still quite nervous and upset by the fact that he's been having doubts, but I don't want to raise this again.
I feel insecure about everything at the moment, but I really don't want to ask him for reassurance - it will just push him away. My question is - where do I go from here? Do I give him some space??