cant seem to forget about her

[spaceboy409]

Ive posted on here alot, and it always seems to help so yeah im feeling so down lately.

Ive truelly only been in love once and that love hasnt seemed to fade, even to this day.

I have a new girlfriend i care about alot, but my ex before her was what I felt like.. my soul mate.

I hear sad songs, and i watch sad movies, and her face pops in my head, and I think about her, and I just feel love, and heart break and I miss her so much, it kills me.

I know their will never be another chance with her, cuz ive already tried several times, she has moved on and seems to be happy without me..

Thats why i dont want to ruin my current relationship becuz of it, cuz I know the past is gone, and I must move on. its just so hard.

She was my true love, and ill prob love her forever, I miss those butterflies, im so scared ill never feel them again.

[cmacattack1]

I understand where you are coming from, and I think a part of you is going to love her forever. You can't let what you have had in the past hold you prisoner for your life today. What has happened, has happened. There is nothing you can do about it. You can't erase the past, you can't take back the multiple times you tried to get back together. Try and accept that instead of mulling over all the what ifs from before. They are only what ifs. They aren't reality.

What you should really do is take a step back and look at what you have right now. Is this girl wonderful? Does she have most qualities anybody would be looking for in a girl? Does she have the qualities you are looking for? Your ex is probably going to be better in some areas than your new girlfriend. Your ex is unique and there isn't much that can replace her to a tee. But your new girlfriend is better in some respects as well. Focus on what she offers, and try not to have comparisons. I've been alone for 8 months and I think I would be happy to have somebody in my life like you have. Something to hold consolation with. If you can't find something in this girl that you really can appreciate, I don't know what to tell you. You probably don't want to be alone right now, do you?

[lahnnabell]

If you can't give this new girl your full attention, you shouldn't be dating her seriously. Unless she is aware that you are still heartbroken over your ex and is okay with being second best. But I don't think that's the case.

I get that you are lonely and you don't want to be alone, but drowning your sorrows by distracting yourself with another girl could only complicate things further and/or hurt this new girl. It's not fair that she is investing in a relationship that you'd drop in a second if your ex came back into the picture.

[soulsurvivor23]

^^ I agree. Just remember that there are two sets of feelings involved here. There are your own and then there are that of your gf. Assuming you haven't told her, she's giving you her 100% while not knowing that she's not getting the same in return from you.. And trust me I been there, recently, i'm still there actually. In trying to get over my first real love I met someone, someone who actually loved (or maybe even still does) me. I kept going out with her even though I didn't quite feel it with her. I always subconsciously said to myself that she was nothing compared to my ex gf. So one night when I slept over at her appartment we went to bed and I was holding her until we fell asleep... and unbelievably... I dreamt about my ex WHILE in bed with my gf. I felt happy and I was smiling when I woke up, until I realized it was not actually my ex that I was in bed with but rather my gf and thats when I was like wow this is not even fair. I felt so bad.

So when I got back to my place, the first thing I said to myself is that I have to end it right now. In your case you don't necessarily have to do the same but you do have to be up front with her about your residual feelings. But anyways I called her up and I told her that i'm not ready for a relationship right at the moment and i'd like to take a step back and become friends. Of course, she asked me why and for the most part, I can't really lie to someone when they ask me a direct question. So I told her that I really like her a lot, but that my heart is still trying to get over my ex and i'm not really ready to date as of right now... She was all kinds of angry and hurt, told me i'm a player, i'm this and i'm that... but regardless it was the right thing for me to do. I don't blame her for getting mad either, because in a sense I actually WAS playing her despite it being completely unintentional. It is certainly playing a woman to commit to her when you know you are in love with someone else.

[Jas_mine]

I am going to give you the age old 'time heals' routine!

Luckily I just read your post above because I was about to lecture you on how you were cheating on your current girlfriend in some shape or form. It was fair of you to free her because at the moment she's just second-best, somebody to bide time with, somebody to help beat the loneliness, and she deserves better, somebody whom can give her all of him. As for you, you need to find a new focus in your life, you are obviously not ready to be dating or to be involved with somebody, and yes you strongly feel your ex was 'the one' but remember if she was 'the one' she would still be here with you today - sometimes you just got to believe that things happen for a reason, it didn't work out with her because there's somebody way more compatible out there for you. You will find her when you are ready, you need some time out at the moment instead of trying to force another relationship in hope that it can compete with the previous one.