"he's right I'm wrong" - Given up on the real problems in my relationship

[MissShrimpy]

I've been with this guy proper for 6 months.
When the relationship started we were so good for each other, the relationship started to get ugly 3 months in.

He turned from being really sweet, lovely, kind, considerate, caring and affectionate to being selfish and just down right not caring for me.

At first, me and him thought I was the one who caused problems, but slowly, he started to show me and realise himself how selfish he was being and how he treated me.
We agreed it was his wrong doings that were ruining our relationship, he vowed he'd try to change for me, but never has.
On sunday, we broke up, for only 2 hours, he wanted to have a walk and talk to me after believing the break up was a mistake. He listened to what I had to say, I told him I did not feel like his girlfriend, how awfully he treated me, I gave him examples of what he has previously said to me and he saw how harsh he had been. He told me he was going to try to change and be a good boyfriend again.
The relationship would of course, been rocky still, and we had another talk on Monday, I told him the same things, and he said he'd think about how to be, and he would become a better person for me, he told me he would probably come round the next day.
On Monday, he went out with his friends, I asked what time he would come round, his response "I'm not sure when I will be coming round" this obviously gave me the impression he'd definitely be coming round mine, so I went out, bought some food I could cook for dinner, I then told him I had dinner for him to cook, he did not respond, so I called him to ask what time he was coming round, it turned into an argument. I was very devastated due to what had been said the past two days, my night was ruined basically. He then came home at 12am, telling me he realised how ungrateful he was, and how he was so determined to change, and how he wanted to make me feel special again... he told me to come to a beach party with him the next night, and how it would be the perfect place to get back to normal and it would help him change. I thought he only wanted me to come, because wednesdays are days we go to the cinema and spend a full day together so he wouldn't be able to go unless I wanted to go...
On wednesday, I asked if i could go, and my parents said no, so that kind of shot a bullet in his confidence of changing for me, we went to the cinema, had a good day, regardless we wouldn't be attending the event. I then asked if he could come round for that dinner the next day, he said he wanted a day alone, I accepted this.
Current day, Thursday, I got up, and we were fine, I then asked if he could come over friday evening for the dinner, he said he was busy, and I said well couldn't you just give me that evening? He broke out into a rage, calling me a "f***ing idiot", "acting like a child", I reminded him of what he had told me that tuesday night "im not being selfish, I just want to go out". He told me he wished i was like his friends girlfriends because they wouldn't of cared.

So now, I have just given up, I have told him not to change, and that I will be the one to change.
Although I cannot get over the true problems he is causing. I now have vowed to myself to just agree that "he is right, I am wrong" so there will be no problems.
He said he wanted to change as well, but then told me I was unbearable, so I just told him it was best I made the effort to change.
I feel this way I won't get let down or upset by him...
But I know I will.

Has anyone got any advice or thoughts on this?

[HeartIsAching]

Asked your parents? How old are you?

I'm going to address this anyhow, because even if you're a teen, you're going to run into this over and over again.

He's emotionally and mentally abusive. Name-calling is a huge red flag. Causing you to doubt yourself is one of their goals, making you dependent on them for emotional support, isolating you so you only have them to socialize with, etc. Getting you to change to suit him is a win FOR HIM. And here's the really fun part - no matter how much you change to suit him, it'll never be good enough, because every time you think you've figured out the rules, he'll change them. It's what we do.

Yes, we. I used to be one. I've learned differently now.

Tell him that if he's serious, he needs to find some domestic violence (yes, violence. Violence isn't always physical) counseling. Group therapy can be quite inexpensive. If he won't go, you've got your answer.

[devonbrown]

Here is my advice - instead of taking blame and being a doormat, why don't you break up with the jerk and find someone who treats you better? Do you like being yelled at and verbally abused? Do you like feeling that you are second or third or fourth or fifth fiddle to him? He wants to go out and do whatever he likes whenever he likes. And he wants you to be okay with it. And then be accepting of him whenever he comes a-calling.

Look in the mirror and realize that you deserve better. The end. That's all you need. Lose him and find yourself.