need some advise (long thread)

[andy_b]

hi
im new to this forum i never thought i would join something like this but i have never ever felt like this in my life its soul destroying

me and my ex have had a pretty hectic year we moved abroad and now come back to uk
she lives in wales and i lived in liverpool when we come back to the uk i moved to wales to be closer to her. i struggled to find a job but finally did.

we where living in a one bedroom flat wich she owns and we rescued a dog in greece and brought it home wich grew massive and it made our living even more cramped causing arguments as we wher eliving in each other pockets. then the final straw snapped and we split up. we stayed amicable but i became paranoid as i was living in a hotel with no family or friends around me i was just sitting in a hotel room with my mind wondering.

she decided she needed to give up the dog to a better home as it wasnt fair on him so we both tried to find him somewhere and one day i bumped into her with another man i felt like my world collapsed she used the classic line of "its not how it looks" and tried to tell me he was a friend of her younger brother and he was taking her to somebody who takes on stray dogs and re homes them. i didnt believe her as my mind has been a mess the last few weeks turns out she was right he was just helping her out he may have had other intentions but she never and this happened the day before we where meant to go the pictures together after her calling me in the middle of the night on the previous sat saying she misses and loves me

i spoke to her the other day for about an hour when i took the dog back to her she said she still loves me but i just couldnt see it in her eyes any more
i am trying to give her space as i am madly in love with her even though we have only been split about a month its killing me

has anybody been through anything similar how did you cope

[Negan]

That feeling is hard to cope with.... that feeling when someone is cheating you and you lose all trust. Still, you should be a little more forgiving. Are you even 100% sure she cheated you with that guy? Are you the jealous type? Maybe he really was just a simple guy and you caught them talking. Did you see them kissing?
I think that by now, you should go and talk to her about this. Tell her how much you love her and about the whole situation. Let her tell you what really happened. No lies, at this point (apart for a month already) you don't have anything to lose.

Just do that and see where it goes.

[andy_b]

i didnt see her cheating on me and i dont believe she did
when we spoke instantly after it she asked me to believe her so i said ok prove it let me see your phone she unlocked it couched then put it down her pants said i was annoying her and told me to get out
theoretically if she was hiding anything she was single so within her right but 3 weeks after a break up is wrong in my eyes
she said she wants to make sure she is 100% before wanting to get back with me maybe she was just testing the water
i love her so much she says she loves me but i get the feelings (apart from when she called me and a few other times) that she is trying not to hurt my feelings

i am trying to give her a weeks space as we have pretty much had some sort of contact every day since the breakup apart from saturday gone and yesterday its a killer not talking to her
its not like i cant find somebody else either i dont have a problem in that field its the fact i really dont want to its not even in my subcontious

i am hoping she will get in touch with me after a few days of me not being around

[Negan]

Cheating is not just sex. Are you okay if she would kiss someone? Made out? I don't think so.

My head turns the more i read about your relationship with this girl.

[andy_b]

i know what you are saying but really she is single so its not cheating really

i think im just struggling to get over her once i have done that i am golden

[andy_b]

i went to visit her last night as the dog is going to a new home
we chatted cleared the air i tried to give her a hug and she shrugged me off saying its weird

[andy_b]

according to her and her friends and family it wasnt a date

im jus gonna leave it a few weeks and see what comes of it