How would you feel if a friend told you how he felt then never talked to you again?

[EastS1der]

Often times, it seems like confessing your feelings is the wrong thing to do.

Most of the time you try to find the most surgical way of saying it without making things awkward.

What is mostly the end result is that you wanna tell her, and you wanna disappear after that because now your black listed and they can care less if you were hit by a car. Atleast that's what I'm feeling. A friend of mine hasn't been close for a while. I have yet to say anything. I talk to other girls but it just doesn't get her out of my mind.

I wanna tell her, but I gotta prepare for rejection, AND loss of trust. Therefore it's probably better to just disappear since I expect the worse.

Everyone tells me I should just tell her. Stop beating around the bush. And no, not something like "I LOVE YOU". Overall I just want her to know that I'm real, I do care, and if she doesn't, it's cool. I really value her friendship(and I do, which is why this is a hard choice to let it go, or to really tell her). I don't want this to change anything, and after this I promise to give her her space, and let myself potentially fade away.

I feel that I'm gonna be numb after this.

[Maple1714]

You should tell your friend how you really feel. Honestly, you are right that typically if you have to bring up the subject in the first place....you know sit your friend down and confess your love, then she probably doesn't feel the same way. If you both felt romantically about each other then you probably wouldn't have to play this guessing game in the first place. BUT, you need to tell her how you feel for a couple reasons.

1. you aren't being a real friend to her if you are hiding your feelings. you don't want to just be her friend...so you are pretending and that's kind of like living a lie. Flat out just tell her and be honest.
2. you have to speak the truth or you will forever hold on to hope.
3. being honest will help you move on in the long run, if she doesn't feel the same way.

Be brave. EVERYONE is in this position at some point in their life. You could be pleasantly surprised you never know?

[Insomniash]

I agree with the above post. At this point you truly have nothing to lose by telling her. It isn't a true friendship if you spend your time yearning for more in her presence. You may be right about having to back away from it not just for her comfort but most importantly so you can move on assuming things don't pan out. But if you continue suffering in silence it will only eat away at you and deteriorate what friendship you do have in the long term. At least by being honest you are opening up an opportunity regardless of how it is received.

[Maple1714]

I will add - if she doesn't feel the same way and pulls away, that's fine. It's only natural...and it's for the best. Yes, it will hurt but it's what's meant to be and that's how you grow and move on to find a girl that you are supposed to be with. Hanging around a "friend" that doesn't feel the same romantic feelings you do is like being rejected 24/7. Not good for you in the long run.

[searock]

I agree with Maple.

I told my best friend I had feelings for him, now we're in a long-term relationship. Be brave and tell her. What you have now isn't friendship anyway - it's not friendship when there are romantic feelings involved. Your current relationship with her is just hurting you and it's based on a lie. Tell her.

Do let us know how it goes :-).

[EastS1der]

Can't I fix it? It just seems too ****ed up. It should not be like this. Especially since I have to see her every day..

What I really need to do is be surgical. I just want to say what I see about her, but not use the words like or love. Honestly, I can take the rejection, as for letting it out, I feel it would be a big weight off my shoulder. atleast want her to see that I'm real. I'm not some dude that only sees her to get into her pants. I'll be a friend. I guess I just feel that we became good friends but somewhere it fell short. I just want her to know that she can trust me. IDK, it's confusing. But I do admit I fell for her too soon.

She's the opposite of the last girl I was with. She likes to help people, she has gone to downtown l.a. and helped out the homeless, and out of her heart. She's rare, not as a woman, but as a person too. Last girl I was with was materialistic, and I felt for her, only to realize she never gave a shit about me, and only saw me as a means to an end..

[Rowen]

I would feel like he didn't mean it and was just running. At least, that was always my experience in the past.

[Maple1714]

Can't I fix it? It just seems too ****ed up. It should not be like this. Especially since I have to see her every day..

What I really need to do is be surgical. I just want to say what I see about her, but not use the words like or love. Honestly, I can take the rejection, as for letting it out, I feel it would be a big weight off my shoulder. atleast want her to see that I'm real. I'm not some dude that only sees her to get into her pants. I'll be a friend. I guess I just feel that we became good friends but somewhere it fell short. I just want her to know that she can trust me. IDK, it's confusing. But I do admit I fell for her too soon.

She's the opposite of the last girl I was with. She likes to help people, she has gone to downtown l.a. and helped out the homeless, and out of her heart. She's rare, not as a woman, but as a person too. Last girl I was with was materialistic, and I felt for her, only to realize she never gave a shit about me, and only saw me as a means to an end..

Dude, just tell her how you feel about her. Don't be cryptic and try to remain friends if she doesn't feel the same way. Grow some balls and be a man about it....that's what girls like.