How to get her number `?

[Jason21]

So basically i have got to known a really cute girl online, and we have been chatting for 2 months now. And surprisingly she is friendly to me and always answer my messages and sends sometimes even long messages back answering everything etc, so i got the feeling that she is interested too. I always ask her nice places to eat in her city and trying to hint a meeting, and she tells about a good restaurants and that it is nice to live in London. So i told her that she has to welcome me when im in london and show me around. And she told " We will see about that :p" And another time she told she is going on holidays this summer but she will let me know when she is out of town. So all of this sounded good to me even if it isn't clear.

But the problem is she wont give me her number. The first tme I asked, she told me she had boyfriend and i said ok thats fine but just know ill be around and she said " i respect that". We continued chatting as usually so i decided to ask her again after a while since she clearly doesn't seem to have a BF ,( and i also found out that is singel) so this time i wanted to be funny and said " I am be coming to London this summer ( that where she lives) but im still missing your number you know ...so you will have to allow me that first " and she replied with " You are not allowed to come to london (wnk)". So she answered my question indirectly i guess... Honestly i am confused, and im thinking this might mean no in a polite way or it doesnt mean anything at best or am i going to fast ? She seems like very fun and playful person who likes to joke and laugh, so it is hard to know when she is serious. Also she is a A+ physiology student so she seems smart.


What do you make out of this ? I dont wont to be too demanding and damage anything so Im thinking to lay low now and not contact her until she makes a move, if she really wants to get to know me, even though i am the one who has to contact her first.

So ladies what does this mean ?

[MerryH]

If she was into you, she would have shown interest in meeting you when you hinted at going to London. She sidesteps the issue every time you bring it up. She also made up a fake boyfriend as an excuse not to give you her number. Those are very strong indicators that she doesn't want anything more than a friendly online relationship.

Also, a tip: When you say things like, "you have to welcome me in London" and "you will have to allow me to..." it comes across a bit bossy. Like, don't tell her what she needs to do, ask her if she'd like to do whatever. I'm not saying this is why things with this girl aren't working out, but it's something to keep in mind for the future.

[Yet another guy]

In the few times I've had the chance, I've first agreed on when and where to meet and then ask the number in case something comes up. That said, it doesn't seem like she's eager to meet you. It may just be nervousness, but don't get your hopes up.

When you say things like, "you have to welcome me in London" and "you will have to allow me to..." it comes across a bit bossy.

Isn't that what girls like? Confident.

[MerryH]

Isn't that what girls like? Confident.

I wouldn't like it. To me, that's not confidence, that's being bossy and rude. I wouldn't like to be told that I have to welcome or allow anything. My gut reaction to that would be a solid, "**** you."

And yeah, I've heard the theory of "don't ask her to go out with you, tell her to go out with you," or whatever it is, but I think it's kind of silly. If you must apply that theory, then maybe make it more like, "We have to go out sometime," instead of "You will make me welcome to go out with you."

[Yet another guy]

Aside the confidence aspect... I'd imagine that we have pretty good understanding if I had been chatting for 2 months with someone and if I told her to welcome me, I'd imagine that she wouldn't take it as an order but rather interpit it a bit more light heartedly. I don't know, maybe it's a cultural difference.

[MerryH]

Maybe it is a cultural/language difference. But word choice is important, and I think anything resembling telling her how she should feel/react/behave is the wrong way to go about it.

Anyway, OP, good luck with the next girl.

[Jason21]

I have to agree with Yet another guy but i guess we are the male here. It was definitely not an order especially when we were joking and saying all kind of stuff. But it is up to her how she interprets .
So i guess no one believes in persuading the girls of today with talking ? I always taught what you say is more important rather than if she is or isn't attracted at first, coz thats a man job right... I think maybe the long distant may be an issue for her. Either way i made it clear to her that i like her and I know that girls talk the least amount and act cocky when they are not interested in a guy, to eliminate all chances of getting closer. So i dont understand why this girl would still talk me..