Should I be mad at my girlfriend? I'm confused.

[xcwbyfan94x]

So, let me start with some background information on my relationship currently. I have been with the love of my life for 8 months now, and everything about the relationship is great. She stays at my apartment almost every night, and everything (to me at least) is going smoothly. Now, to the problem.

My previous relationship I was in before this ended because I was cheated on. We were together for 3 years, and it was the worst thing I have ever went through in my life getting over her, but I did and moved on. However, it has really caused me to do things in the relationship now that I have normally not done in my previous relationship like read her texts, get on her facebook, etc.. A couple of months ago I read on her facebook messages from a guy going back and fourth. She gave him her number and said that when he gets in town again they need to hang out. Then in the next few messages she was talking to him about how fun it was, and how she laughed all the way home about something he said. I was hurt, and didn't know what to do or say because she doesn't know I get on her facebook. Eventually, I confronted her about it, and somehow managing not to admit that I logged on her facebook, I got answers. She told me that she didn't go to lunch with him, but they were eating in the same place for lunch and ran into each other (she was out with her family eating), and that he was a long time friend of hers that is in the military and isn't in town much. I told her that stuff like that bothered me, and that I would at least like to know if you hang out with another guy or something again. She said ok and we moved on.

A few months later I get on her facebook and she sent him messages saying that she is so sorry that she missed his call and please don't hate her. I dunno if I should be mad or sad, or nothing at all, but it really is taking a toll on me. I don't know what to do. Need some advice please. Thanks.

[xO Lanna]

Hey I know how you feel. But the jealously is the one of the top feelings that can end a relationship! I had a friend in the military and when I would miss his calls it would be days before I could talk to him again. So the fact that she was sorry she missed his call is reasonable. If I were you, I would stop checking up on her. When I accuse my bf of cheating he says to me, "You know, a thief thinks everyone steals." Just relax and become comfortable in your relationship. Trust is everything.

[miSSleepy]

wow...
just, stop invading her privacy

[bluesummer]

You're off to a bad start in your relationship if you're refusing to trust her (snooping through her emails and messages). You can't assume that because your ex did it to you, so will everyone else. Maybe this guy is just a close friend? I have a few very close guy friends that I talk to. My fiance knows OF them, but I don't tell him of every instance that we talk or message, just like he doesn't with his girl friends. We love and trust each other.

I was cheated on RAMPANTLY by my ex-husband. After two years of it, I finally broke into his email and I STILL feel bad about being such a sneak....even though it gave me the evidence to throw his ass out. I vowed I would never do it in another relationship, and I haven't.

[Zilla80]

Stop reading her facebook.

If she cheats on you, let that be the reason why your relationship ends - NOT her breaking up with you for snooping on her facebook.

All the chatter has been friendly so don't flip out... or is she not allowed to have friends that are male?

I know the feeling though man, when you're in a great relationship and just crazy about a girl... the absolute worse feeling in the back of your mind is the thought of her being intimate with another man.