shy or uninterested??? kind of long.

[devo]

Okay, I have this guy friend for about a year and half, i met him in one of my classes and i didn't think much of him because at the time i was in love with my current ex boyfriend, i had him in another class the next semester and we would sit together (he would save me a seat) in that class. He would tell me i smelled good and one time he gave me a hello kitty key chain because he and an "extra" one and he knew i loved hello kitty. i was still with my boyfriend at the time and didn't think much of it because well i guess i didn't want to think about it.
We never exchanged numbers or hung out outside of school because i was kind of afraid of developing feelings for him, so when summer can a long we went separate ways. i didn't think about him or anything because i was having relationship issues with my boyfriend at the time. After fighting for a long time my boyfriend and i broke up and i moved back home with my mom.
So when school can again i saw him on the first day and he waved to me and can over asked me how my summer was. I told him i broke up with my boyfriend and moved back home.
Side story: he use to borrow cigarettes from me all the time and i would just give them to him not really caring. so when i can back from school he gave me a coupon book for the cigarettes that i smoke and said that it was payback from all the ones he took from me.
So i totally started crushing on him and he started giving me hello kitty stickers and we exchanged phone numbers and i thought we would start hanging out. but i would text him and ask him what he was doing and he would always blow me off in a way.but at school he would always come and sit with me and talk. he would ask to see the paintings i was working on and ask to see it. i got confused and started to ignore him completely. because i thought he was just being a dick for talking to me at school and then not asking to hangout or anything. he was sending mixed signals. so when i started to slightly ignore him he started to hand around more. he ask me to come to his bands shows and started buying cigarettes to share with me. i am confused is he not interested or is he shy or what. i am sure i forgot to leave out some details in this story, but this has gotten long. i am pretty sure he is interested in me and i am wondering should i just ask him to hangout. Oh and when i go to gallery openings and he is there he ignores me too and talks to my friends but not really to me, but my friends swear they see him staring at me all the time. ??? what to do???

[jenniferx]

"he ignores me too and talks to my friends but not really to me, but my friends swear they see him staring at me all the time" THIS was a dead giveaway. HES SHY. Im a girl, and I'm shy too and I do that ALL the time (not the staring but the talking to a guys friends outside of school). He wants to talk to you but he's to scared esp in an outside setting where he isnt used to/ comfortable talking to you..so he goes to your friends hoping to get to you.

Because he's shy, you want to make moves slllowwwllly. You probably scared him a little when you always wanted to hang out. That happens to me too if a guy is aggressive, ill start stressing out about how i should act cause i dont want to mess things up, and as a result i can come off as distant or reject opportunities to hang out. Once he realized that you werent always going to be there (when you started ignoring him), he wanted your attention back.

All in all, I would start talking to him, and try going to a show of his with some friends, just don't come off TOO strongly... however at the same time, make sure you're still making moves that he may be too scared to take. Try giving him a little space, but show you like him. A show of his is a good place to hang out because it is something he is probably more comfortable with. Try hanging out with HIS friends or at HIS house. Next time he asks you to hang out, go. Or say youll tke him up on his previous offer.

Good Luck!

[devo]

thank you that was helpful, but you see i can't actually get him to directly hangout with me. he has never asked, he just has invited me to one of his shows, that all. i am shy also so when we are a lone i can sort of talk to him but it has changed recently i feel like when i was with my boyfriend i could talk to him all the time, but now i can't seem to ask the right questions to get him to open up to me. i feel like if i make the wrong move (ask him out or what for him) he could lose interest or i will lose my opportunity.

[shheadz]

He may be shy, but may also be playing hard to get. I don't know. If he invited you to go see his band play, then go see them play. No biggie. Just have a good time.

You just got out of a long term relationship, so there's really no reason for you to be rushing things anyway. You're not even dating the guy yet, and you're already making comparisons to your ex-boyfriend. It sounds like this new guy is taking things slowly, and that's probably just what you need anyway.

[devo]

Okay update: So i took your advice and I just played it cool. I went to his show and had a lot of fun. So after he was done playing and putting his stuff away I went up and talked to him. He gave me a hug which he has never done before and thanked me for coming. Is told him I really enjoyed his band and we talk about a couple of other things. Then when it seemed like the conversation was over I asked him what he was doing after words, he told me he didn't know and that if he was doing anything he would defiantly tell me. Then he told me about his next show and that and i told him i would most likely go to that. He gave me another hug and I went back to my friends to tell them.
Around the end of the show my girlfriends and i were talking to some guy we met and he invited us to a party. We told him we would go, so i went over to the guy and told him what we had planed on doing he said that he was actually going there too.
So when my friend and i got to the party we smoked weed and i got a little nervous because i was around him and all. I pretty much didn't talk to him the whole rest of the night. Which i think was pretty cussing stupid. =[
Anyways when he was leaving i told him I had something for him, which i did and i gave it to him and he got super excited, like he actually liked my gift. He told me he would see me at school but we both agree that it was unlikely because of finals.
So here i am now, what to do??

[Cbrider]

One of you is going to have to step up here. You're dancing around a fire, but neither of you are willing to jump across and meet the other.