Girlfriend wants me to travel to her friends wedding . . ..

[cnote]

I've been dating someone for seven months. Things are going along okay, however I feel the relationship is still new.

My girlfriend wants me to go to her best friend's wedding with her, who is getting married in California. I'm on the East Coast. I've never met her best friend by the way.

I just bought a house a few months ago which pretty much drained a lot of my savings (down payment, things to buy for the house when moving in, closing costs, etc). I also traveled with her to Mexico. Although most of it was paid for (by her company), I ended up spending a couple of hundred of dollars on misc expenses and used 5 vacation days.

The plane ticket to go to the wedding will be around $700. The problem I'm having is that $700 could be used for other things for my new home - (furniture, landscaping needs, etc)

I feel she should understand that we haven't been dating long and I've had a lot of financial obligations this year.

If we were engaged, I'd probably feel different about it. Again, I feel we are still in a new relationship and given my other financial obligations and the fact I've already traveled with her, she should understand without laying the guilt trip.

I'm estimating by the time the wedding is done with, I'm looking at around $1,000.

[pcmaster]

Thats some expensive plane ticked. There must be cheaper aviocompanies and it could be possible that way. For 700 you could flry to europe easly. I think wedding is worth it however, ussualy lots of fun there.

[cnote]

Thats some expensive plane ticked. There must be cheaper aviocompanies and it could be possible that way. For 700 you could flry to europe easly. I think wedding is worth it however, ussualy lots of fun there.

I'm not saying it will or will not be fun, My point is I just bought a house and have a lot of expenses this year already, thus I should be careful of what I do and don't spend money on.

If we have been dating for a few years or engaged, maybe I'd feel differently.

[vashti]

I don't think you are obligated. She might pout a bit, because she would like to be able to show you off to her west coast friends, but you don't have to do it.

Edit: I don't know how the "newness" of the relationship factors into this, and in any case, it isn't a "new" relationship. It is not inappropriate 7 months in to want to invite your boyfriend to attend a wedding, so your argument about the length of time is diversionary at best. You'd be better off just sticking to the financial burden.

[Wakeup]

Just tell her what exactly what you said in your opening post, then tell her you'll miss, to have fun and you'll be at the airport to pick her up when she gets back. End of.

[Boisdevie]

Just tell her you can't afford to go. It's not because you don't want to, it's because you simply can't afford it. What the problem with that?

[surfhb2]

If your woman is worth it, she'll understand.

Side Note: Hope you didn't go in too deep on your mortgage?