I'm really depressed, my ex does not talk to me anymore. please help me people :(

[cristianr9]

I'm new here and plan to be part of the forum if i get better with time. I really need help. Why? Here is the reason. I've been seeing a girl for almost 5 years now. I must admit i'm a jealous possesive guy. In the begginning she loved me while i treated her bad cuz i still wasn't in love with her until with time(5 months) i realized she was the one i truly cared about. I'm 24 and she's 23 now. I've known her since she was 14 and had her in a class in high school but never talked to her until i met her again in college in SEP 20, 2004. From that day we started our relationship. she did cheat on me before some times but that's cuz i would yell at her and treat her bad, i guess my jealousy made me act like that cuz i cared for her but i acted to over protective of her

she left me for a guy 1 year and 7 months later and i eventually within a month got her back. but ever sinse then we were shaky and she officially broke it off with me after 2 1/2 years which was in March of 2007 sinse then we have not officially been going out but we still acted like we were together. Her family is poor, she has no car and no money and she has been staying at her university dorm since August 2006 only during school season. and her fam lives 10 miles away. Well i have always gave her money, rides to her house and even bring her fam to see her at her school and vice versa, bought her groceries, did her laundry, help move her stuff in and out of dorms every year, and everything that you can think of. She has always been 100% dependent on me. well i think she is really beutiful and has such an athletic body sinse she is an athlete at her school and she is even doing modeling on and off to get money to pay her debts with school. That's why I have been so jealous of her cuz all the guys want with her and she has kissed about 8 guys in this 5 years that i've been with her and she had intimate foreplay with 2 guys only in the last 5 years as well(no sex cuz she's still a virgin). why do you think i act like this? i get too paranoid and seems like everytime i got like that she started flirting with other guys when she knew i let her down again cuz of my mean jealousy she was like my 1st real GF and intimate experience and still is to this day. i love her with all my heart. I'm always with her and still have intimacy with her all time at her house, her dorm, etc...and really i treat her like my GF and everybody knows about her in my life. in her case, she says i'm her friend, her ride all the time and it's hurt me so much cuz she presents me like this with everybody but when we are alone we act like BF/GF n she does not want me to have any girlfriends to hang out or talk to on the phone as she took my cell phone away so many times to text girls that would talk to me to back away.

well it's been too many fights already and in OCTOBER of last year i bought her the iphone and have been paying for her bill for almost 10 months now under my account. Meaning i can check what she does and i think ever since then that has messed us up even more before i got her the phone she promised me it wasn't for her to talk to guys but she let me down when i would check, she would text a lot to guys that knew like her and even send pics and receive pics and she would hide me from everybody really when i have been giving her rides bakc and forth to places, getting her groceries every weekend, buying her food, movies, taking her places just anything. I gave my best for her although i would treat her bad sometimes cuz of my jealousy but she is such a flirt cuz she knows she is beautiful n has the guys after ger obviously but we would be happy again in less than 3 days all the time. why if she has always been around me, why doesn't she tell the guys about me? i just called one of her GFs that does not like her anymore and she told me just last year she kissed an 18 year old while she was 22 n she hid if from me n i just found out

well on her BDAY 2 weeks ago i must admit i messed up and she got mad and it got ugly later that night while she was getting out the car mad, i took the phone away unexpectadly and she told me that if i didn't give it back she promised she was going to stop talking to me for a while. n i did not give it back cuz i was curious what she had in there cuz she would hide it from me all the time. so she left n i wasn't surprised to see a million guys inviting her out on her BDAY on text messages but she still always prefered me and i messed up and am aware of that. next day i called her house and her mom answered and told me to leave her daughter alone for good now. 3 days later i give her the cellphone back through her younger sister and even activated back on again for her but she still IS SUPER MAD and doesn't want to talk to me for 2 weeks now i have text her so many times n called her n she wont answer back. her sister sent me a text last week saying that i should give her space n leave her alone n stop texting her. i check the calls that she makes n guys that she talks to n she has met new guys already she even sent them pics of her and received alike n i told her bout this that it hurts me still although she wont reply back to me.

i'm devasted as i'm scared she wont talk to me anymore and really jealous that she keeps calling and texting a lot. i want to cut off the service but i'm scared to finally lose her completely. this week i have text her saying i love her n have even dropped off drinks and food at night at her window so she can eat (cuz her fam is so poor n i have always helped her out) but i get no response from her although i do text her saying i'm dropping off stuff and then leave without her seeing me. I have been crying so much. just right now i saw that she called one of the guys prob to have a good time tonight i did try to take my life away already last week by taking 10 pills n that only got me sick for some days but i still feel depressed and sad n just feel like taking my life away now, i think i HAVE finally lost her after 5 years and really in this 5 years i don't know anything that it's not her.

what should i do? stop texting her stating that i love her n miss her and stop dropping off food and cut her cellphone service away? or let her keep the cell n wait untill she calls me again later with time? help me people, i really do need opinions, i don't want to do anything stupid again with myself cuz i feel so lonely without her. that's all i've really known and been around with all this time. she's like my best friend
n love n i know she's really pretty and attractive and i'm scared to lose her. i would appreciate the help

[little pingoin]

I think you already lost her, and she was just keeping you around as her personal taxi, laundry service and bank account. There's no reason you should still be paying for her phone.

[NeoSeminole]

wow, you are so pussywhipped that it's not even funny. It's just pathetic. Why the f*ck are you still paying for her phone so she can talk to other guys? You gave her money, car rides, and bought her groceries. She repays you by fooling around behind your back and dissing you in front of her friends, and you take it like a b*tch. As if that wasn't pathetic enough, you're crying over this girl like an emo fag. You are a disgrace to men around the world. Do us a favor and cut off your balls. You obviously don't use them.

[Azn2Luv]

ahhhh wooow

[Gigabitch]

You're going to stay depressed until you take matters into your own hands. You feel powerless because you are. She plays with you like a puppet.

Turn off the phone service and stop trying to talk to this spoiled, destructive little person.

[cristianr9]

i know it makes me sound really bad but i really love this girl a lot. but it seems like she is making my life complicated by not trying to keep in touch with me. Although I did say I have hurt her a lot, and more on her B-DAY 2 1/2 weeks ago. I messed it up for her and made her cry. She did tell me i was going to regret it and she promised she wasn't going to see me for a while and she is finally keeping her word, we haven't gone this long without talking or seeing each other and that's what hurts me. Am I exxagerating right now and i really need to give her space? I have already made up my mind and I will be cutting off her service in 2 more weeks if and only if, she hangs up on me when I call her. I think that's more than enough, she has already made me suffer 2 1/2 now, so she's prob holding on till one month and during 2 more weeks, she will be moving out back to her school. Any advice now? Considering I treated her really bad?

[tooxshort]

Damn, 5 years together? You haven't had a chance to taste life.

I think you've got to let this bird go ... At your age, there's much more happiness to be experienced ...

[cristianr9]

wow, you are so pussywhipped that it's not even funny. It's just pathetic. Why the f*ck are you still paying for her phone so she can talk to other guys? You gave her money, car rides, and bought her groceries. She repays you by fooling around behind your back and dissing you in front of her friends, and you take it like a b*tch. As if that wasn't pathetic enough, you're crying over this girl like an emo fag. You are a disgrace to men around the world. Do us a favor and cut off your balls. You obviously don't use them.

I'm not like that, i just haven't stopped paying it cuz I know since she is home, she takes the bus and trains sometimes so i didn't wanna do it just yet, she goes back to her school in 2 more weeks and i'm thinking i will be calling her 13 days from now from a phone number she wont know so that she answers. All i'm going to tell her is if she is ready to talk to me and if she's going to need me to help her move out her stuff to her school dorm again. But if she hears my voice when she answers and she hangs up right away, dude, i can't keep paying for it then.

I just figured right now she is still resented that I called her names and accused her and even texted her guyfriends in a mean way, so in that way, i messed up a day after i had ruined her B-DAY. I got a lot of flaws too that I wish I never hurt her like that. And the only reason why she hasn't said i'm almost like her BF to her friends and people it's cuz she always told me she was scared that i would get crazy again and everything would go down the drain again and i admit it. When i knew she was happy and kissed me and held my hand in front of people(as she was all over me for a month until i yelled and treated her bad on her bday), i took her for granted and sometimes I just argued over nothing although she tried to calm me down but i was too stubborn. I just remember making her cry sometime in late MAY for no reason and i told her sorry and she told me she wanted to believe i would change but she scared and thinking when would be the next time i got aggresive again dude i'm the one that messed up, just look, i let her down once again after a thousand "i wont do it anymore honey, i promise" i have my 1st therapy session next week, i just don't know why i can't control myself when i get mad

[cristianr9]

Damn, 5 years together? You haven't had a chance to taste life.

I think you've got to let this bird go ... At your age, there's much more happiness to be experienced ...

I know what you mean, we both have hurt each other as she has cheated on me, and I have cheated on her just a year and half ago with 3 girls. So it's like 2 sided but she is more calmed, she's already got a Bachelors in Psychology and she knows how to calm down when she sees that I'm talking to a girl, i do hide them too from her, but only cuz i know it's going to start a fight but i really wouldn't cheat on her anymore. I've been with her for 5 years and always together. She gets mad and walks away. I get mad, and i start calling her names and this and that and i just hurt her emotionally and also get aggresive in the way of throwing things that i'm holding, like my cellphone i know i got the chance to be with other girls right now cuz i do have female friends that like me but i have known my Ex since 2000 how can i let go? I want to prove her i can change and be the guy that never yells at her, the guy that when he gets mad, walks away and then make out the next day, but how can i control my anger? that's what she is worried about.

[tooxshort]

Your relationship expired a long time ago ... within 5 years, you've both managed to cheat on each other and treat each other like shit. Holy shit, this one has to die.

Forget trying to change ... you should be enjoying yourself. Once you get her back, you'll be back in the rotation ... You're just letting your feelings of sadness lead you to believe you can change completely and be the best guy from here on out. Possible? Yes. Likely? Hell no.

You need to move on and salvage the rest of your 20s while you can ... In hindsight, you'll see how messed up all of this was. At this point, she doesn't deserve shit from you ... especially that iPhone service ($30 on top of the regular service? Come on, man!). And if she isn't picking up your calls, you don't owe it to her to set up a meet to move her stuff out. If she isn't doing it, leave her stuff at her parents' spot or wherever she's staying. It's not your responsibility to play rent-a-space.

[cristianr9]

Your relationship expired a long time ago ... within 5 years, you've both managed to cheat on each other and treat each other like shit. Holy shit, this one has to die.

Forget trying to change ... you should be enjoying yourself. Once you get her back, you'll be back in the rotation ... You're just letting your feelings of sadness lead you to believe you can change completely and be the best guy from here on out. Possible? Yes. Likely? Hell no.

You need to move on and salvage the rest of your 20s while you can ... In hindsight, you'll see how messed up all of this was. At this point, she doesn't deserve shit from you ... especially that iPhone service ($30 on top of the regular service? Come on, man!). And if she isn't picking up your calls, you don't owe it to her to set up a meet to move her stuff out. If she isn't doing it, leave her stuff at her parents' spot or wherever she's staying. It's not your responsibility to play rent-a-space.

i do agree with you, i'm paying a lot of money for her phone. But I don't know what i did some minutes ago that i just called her best friend some minutes ago and she told me that my ex still cares for me a lot but that I need to let her think first and give her space. She asured me that she has not been with a guy at all for the last 11 months that she has known her because everybody at her school and sports teams know that i'm always with her and sleeping over at her school pretty much every weekend.

She did tell me that whenever i started texting my ex in a jealousy way or calling her names on the phone while she was next to her at school, that my ex would get sad and just get dissapointed in me. So her friend said my jealousy would push her away. But the last thing she told me was that she was sure her best friend(my ex) was going to give me a call when she was ready, but not right now and to just give her space. What do you think? I really do like her so much still.

[thomas130]

Jesus I was petty obsessed about a girl once and even though we was never together I felt depressed etc that she would'nt talk to me etc and would go out with others guys.

But serious you need to get this bitch out your life stop paying for her phone I mean have you got no dignity. I think you making the same mistake I made because she has been the only girl in your life that you probably love you think she be the only girl you will love which is'nt true. Move on forget about her and find someone better and when you have the same feeling you be laughing to yourself why you did all this retarded stuff.

Plus the fact she says she needs time etc she just playing with you probably so you keep buying her stuff stop being a dick and tell her to f**k herself.

[Raze]

OMG! Another ex thread! Do you not understand the concept of breaking up? Breaking up means losing contact with the skirt. Why is that so hard to understand?