she cheated on me

[nexpose]

Hello all,,,,,,I just found out today that my GF cheated on me. It was with her "male friend" and I knew they've had a close bond. I always slightly wondered but there was nothing to back it up.

I found the condom wrapper on the rug since I was there leaving some things for her for her move. And I of course knew that was not my condom wrapper.

I confronted her then later and she said it was from the former roommate that she was cleaning up after. But that didn't wash with me since it was in her bedroom.

She finally confessed and I'm crushed of course.

My GF had been tutoring her "friend" since he's from another country and needed help with English. Turns out he got more.

We have had such a great time getting away for the weekend, hiking and just getting out enjoying life. And have had a great sex life.

We've only been together less than 3 months and from her signals I know she's into me. Unless she's the greatest actress ever.

She had recently been divorced earlier this year and has tons of stress with that along having a daughter out of state.

Many things have been confusing to me besides this cheating I just found out so I wonder what to do? I want to be with her but it'll be hard to regain trust.

I won't beg to say be with me and all but I did at least write her saying the ball is in your court and it's up to you what you want.

I won't be in some open relationship playing the guy on the side.

She's hard to figure out and I've wanted more communication too so with a lot going on in her life I just wonder?

I really put my heart on the line and am a very caring guy. I guess that's me being a CANCER and INFJ maybe.

She definitely knows I'm very caring and understanding with her but maybe too much? who knows? I do take charge with things and she likes that in me but I feel she's lonely although had two guys now or who knows who else?

I'm more numb and not angry but just need to know from her and it's up to her now.

Thanks for listening.

[misombra]

that sucks. how long have you been together? do you live together?

[IndiReloaded]

She cheated & then she lied about it. What else do you need to know about this gal? Dump her or be her pussywhipped bitch, your choice.

[gHEXjt]

Dump her. Apparently she doesn't find your sex life as fulfilling as you do. I can't understand how anyone could stay with someone that cheated on them at this point in a relationship. You have not been together long enough to be where it's better for you to stay together than to break up. She's got no self control and she's playing you. You sound desperate to be in this relationship.

[vashti]

I don't know why men don't understand that a mother living apart from her children should be a big warning sign. Are there exceptions? Of course, but generally if a woman doesn't have custody of her kids, something is very wrong.

BTW - finding a used condom on the floor is really disgusting. Doesn't she clean her place? Yuck.

Get rid of her. She's a cheater and a liar.

[misombra]

wait, it was a condom and not a condom wrapper? ::goes back to see...::

it was the wrapper lol. still gross and stupid as hell on her part.

you would think that if she was really guilty about cheating she would have tried better to get rid of the evidence.

wow.

if you stay with her, you're in for a world of pain and embarrassment.

[vashti]

hehe! I was so grossed out, I must have skipped over the "wrapper" part. Still, why would you throw trash on the floor?

[misombra]

the passion must've taken over.

[nuevo]

DUMP HER!!!!

I can't believe you are willing to forgive her after that.

Does she feel sorry? (at least) she even keep the condom haha

Im telling you, is gonna happen again....the question is...how many times are you able to take it??

[ExpoNovak]

You are one of the lucky ones, believe it or not. You've spent less than three months with this girl. It could be worse. You could be married to her, have a couple of kids and a mortgage and discover this. Hit your knees and be thankful that you found this out NOW and not a year from now. Then ask for your favorite sweater/dvds/cds back and hit the road.

And I have got to agree with Vashti on the kid issue. A woman who has lost custody or her kids or given it up voluntarily is a massive red flag. It may seem nice "Oh no kid to contend with" but in reality all it says is "I am incredibly irresponsible/careless/abusive/on drugs/etc." Read between the lines my brother.

[eliz50883]

I know its hard to go through this. I just went through it with my boyfriend and its REALLY hard. We have a child in the mix. I know you want things to work out .. but you can't be in a relationship when that bond of trust is broken. Its hard to get back to that place again. I tried OVER and over again. Its really humiliating to have someone cheat on you .. at least it was for me. Do whats in your heart and follow it. You will find someone better who will devote all of there love and devotion to you. Don't settle for less than what you deserve. When people know you wear your heart on your sleeve .. they take advantage.

[Only-virgins]

She cheated & then she lied about it. What else do you need to know about this gal? Dump her or be her pussywhipped bitch, your choice.

Listen to this. Don't let people push you around.

[nexpose]

Thanks to all. I'm a need to know type of person so I definitely know things are over but I just don't walk away. There are just too many variables now and can't trust her.

This is harder for me since I rarely have relationships. Guess the good guy syndrome but at this point in my life I'm not going to turn into another person that has swagger and is suave. I'll just have to deal with myself, haha.

I know I'll sound like I'm in "Leave it to Beaver" land but my parents have had perfection and I strive for something that must be dead now.

I just have to do what I have to do and agree I can't let anyone push me around.

Oh well, whatever I guess.