Recap, so if you remember, skip this paragraph: So if you'll all remember, I started a thread a few weeks back about my ex being invited to my house by my family for Thanksgiving break. She had nowhere else to go, and I hated her but was still attracted to her, and I was wondering if we should hook up. The conclusion I came to, with the overwhelming support of the forum, was that I'd be a cad if I did any such thing and I should just leave her the hell alone.
Well, my friend called me the day my ex was about to come and told me that he found out on facebook that she's actually in a relationship for hte first time since our break-up a year and a half ago. That took a lot of the pressure off of me, and I was actually a little relieved. (It also explained why it had been a while between her last calls, and why there was no sexual innuendo in her last call.)
Well, surprisingly (or maybe not surprisingly) we got alogn swimmingly with my whole family there, and althoguh I have no desire to be her friend after break, I did enjoy her company while she was here. The first couple days, I felt that there was some flirtation going on, but it didn't bother me since she was, after all, taken. On the second night, she told me she was still really attracted to me, and could feel I was attracted to her too, but she finally came out and told me she had a bf who she really liked and respected, and said that he was the nicest guy she'd met since me and she really wants thigns to work out w/ him. I said that that was fine and I was happy for her, and only wanted good things for her.
Fast forward to Thanksgiving night, after we had all had ample wine, the family had laughed, shared stories, played games and had finally gonr to bed: I was sleeping on the couch because I had given my old bedroom to my sister and her boyfriend.
I was asleep when I felt a strange sensation, adn I woke up to my ex going DOWN ON ME. I had told her this was a fantasy of mine while we were dating, and for some reason she had never done it. I didn't stop her, in fact, after a few minutes, of ecstasy, I reoriented her and returned the favor. While we were engaged in that precarious position, not only could anyone who walked down about 5 stairs see us, but also, she kept saying she wanted me inside of her again. Luckily, my condoms were in the room where my sister was sleeping, and there was NO way I'd risk impregnating her.
I have a temptation to go into mroe detail, but this isn't an erotic story forum, so I'll skip all that. After it was all over, I told her it couldn't happen again, and that she was probably drunk. She told me she was completely sober, and, truthfully, I was sober by that point as well. Then she started to cry about her boyfriend. I didn't know whether to comfort her, or what, so I just told her that our relationship ended on a very strange note, and she should think of it as closure. Then I walked her up to her room, and told her not to worry, and went back to sleep.
The next day, she acted as if nothing happened at first, then kissed me later in the day, then started takling to me abotu her boyfriend later (to which I replied that I really didn't need to hear about him), and at night, she once again came down to my couch again and told me that it would feel more like closure (using my own words) if we had sex. THEN she told me that she coudln't have sex because her period had started that day, but asked me if I would ever have sex with a girl on her period. I told her no, and that my condoms were STILL upstairs cuz i didn't think anything would be happening again. THEN, through my own bad judgment, I figured since something already HAD happened, there's no reason not to let it happen again, and we did stuff, during which she tried to convince me that, since we couldn't have sex, I could still put it in her other hole..
She and I HAD done that before, but she told me she hated it in the past, so this puzzled me. Additionally we'd never done it without a condom, and I definitely didn't like the idea of putting my most beloved body part in there unprotected. So basically, I let her finish me orally, and I, using saliva, brought her to orgasm manually, while she had a tampon inside of her. It was really strange. The whole time, she kept complimenting me using words like "best" and "god, i've missed this," etc, and encouraging me to have sex with her, which I did not do.
The next day, she acted weirdly distant, but at the end, when she was leaving, she told me she'd miss me a lot, but understands that we're not going to talk again, and then she kissed me. Since Saturday night, I haven't heard from her at all, which I think is a good thing.
I guess what I'm wondering is: is this girl insane? Like certifiably insane? This girl goes to one of the top 10 ranked schools in America, probably in the world, and yet her behavior is frighteningly erratic. Is there a method to this madness that I'm not seeign? Even up until the last day she told me she really loves her boyfriend and doesn't know if she's going to be able to keep this a secret. This was bar-none the weirdest break I've ever had in my life. I don't know if I should feel like an asshole, feel used, feel indifferent, or what. I definitely feel sexually gratified, but if any of my friends knew what happened with my horrible ex, I'd get SUCH an earful. I already got a huge lecture from my cousin, who saw a hickey above my waist when i was stretching and then said he heard her come downstairs and not come back up for a long time. I'm sure anyone who was even slightly invested in my last thread thinks I'm an idiot, but waking up to oral from an attractive girl is a hard thing to stop! The worst thing is that I'll be in NYC over break, and she said that she woudl be coming too, since she can't go home anymore. (My sister and her brother live together). I don't know if I should change my plans, or what, because I certainly don't have the self-control or foresight that I thought I did. I don't even know if I have a question I want answered. I just really needed to get this story in the open. JESUS CHRIST!