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Thread: How do I just relax and enjoy seeing my new girlfriend?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    3

    How do I just relax and enjoy seeing my new girlfriend?

    Hi all, New to this forum so please bare with me!!

    I recently met a new girl through internet dating, shes 25 I'm 26, we talked for a while and got to know each other a bit, realized that we had stuff in common, liked pictures of each other and wanted the same things ( a relationship ). Had our first date and it went great, there was a spark and attraction, felt like we had known each other a while. After the date we went our separate ways and started seeing each other every 2nd day- gone for coffee, cuddled and watched films, went for a meal together. She has told me that she has never felt so comfortable with a guy so quickly, that she really likes me. About a week after our first date we have decided to make it 'official', that meaning we are now a couple and in a relationship, quite soon to do that but we agree that it feels right, I think this girl is beautiful and when were together I cant stop being affectionate towards her.

    Anyway, here is my problem, I cant seem to relax and just enjoy what we have. I dont doubt that she does like me but I constantly analyze and over think things. Whereas most people at the start of a relationship can just go with the flow and let things be, I worry and fret over stupid things, for example, my girlfriend studies here but her family live about 25 miles away, i asked her to go out next weekend with me, she said she cant as she is going home to see her family but she would the weekend after, my first thought was " but if you like me so much you would stay here and spend time with me", I can see how that sounds ridiculous, childish and stupid but that is what I thought its as if her saying that makes me feel like she doesn't want to see me as much.

    I never expected to like this girl as much, other girls that I dated before her i did like but there was no spark or great attraction. In the past I havent always been faithful to ex girlfriends or treated them well, there is something about this girl though, I find her so attractive, shes sweet and kind, cuddly and wants the same as me. I just need advice on how to relax and enjoy being with her.

    Help would be appreciated!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    7,055
    RM, yes you had silly thought - but you also recognise it was silly and rationalised your way out of it. It's OK to have irrational thoughts as long as we don't burden our partner with them and can tell ourselves that we're being ridiculous. I'm sure it's a rare person who doesn't do this from time to time.

    I think the trick to relaxing is to have faith in your own ability to survive if it does go pear shaped. I mean, the panic comes because you're worried about the risk of losing her, yes? But I bet you've had heartbreak before and you know that after a period of sadness, the sun will shine again. And there will be other girls.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    3
    Thankyou your words make great sense and are true

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