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Thread: I'm boring so why does she still want to hang out with me?

  1. #1
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    I'm boring so why does she still want to hang out with me?

    Hey ladies out there, sorry for the long post but I'm posting here in hopes to get some insight about myself and the girl that I'm seeing.

    Anyway, first, a little bit about myself. I guess I'm what you would call the "easy-going" guy. Ya know, the one that just kicks back and relaxes. I usually just go with the flow. Few complaints, if any. And things rarely piss me off. Yep, I'm that kinda guy. But while all that seems fine and dandy, I can honestly say that I'm boring as well. I'm not exactly "Mr.Fat-Wallet" nor "Mr.Right-For-Her". My jokes are so dry they fail. I'm also socially retarded as far as what's hot and what's not. (I'm in my early 20's, which is sad.) I suppose I could go on and on about all the negative aspects about me, but ya know, I do still have a little bit of pride left in me, so I'll just leave it at that.

    As for this girl, she's the opposite. Been around, knows helluva lot more than me (especially along the lines of entertainment), she's also easy-going but at the same time she's not afraid to be blunt about how she truly feels.

    And I guess it was this certain "honesty" and "real-ness" about her that made me attracted to her in the first place. We've hung out plenty of times and at some point she figured out that I like her but she (unfortunately, and unsurprisingly as well) couldn't return those same feelings towards me.

    Alright, I'm cool with that (well, not initially, of course) but the thing that gets me is why does she still want to hang out with me? Just to be friends? Did she feel obligated (out of guilt) to spend time with me because I like her but she doesn't like me back? We usually hang out just the two of us and let me tell ya, we've had numerous uncomfortable silent moments. It'd come to the point in which we'd just say random things in hopes to keep the conversations flowing, and knowing her, this is saying a lot. I don't blame her though. I blame myself for not being able to string conversations along.

    So, really, does anyone know why this girl still wants to hang out with me? I don't think I'm a doormat, it's not like I pay for everything and I do forget my manners every now and then (not on purpose, of course). So what does she see in me that I don't see in myself? Or, am I just looking far into this?

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    1) she may like your personality but is not attracted to you looks wise

    2) she hasn't made up her mind whether she wants to take it further so you're a back up when she needs

    3) she likes being liked as in; it's an ego boost

    otherwise i can't tell ya why
    Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching

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    Yes, you sound like you suck. Dunno why she likes you.

    LOL, why don't you just ask her?
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    In all likelihood you're in the friend zone. You could just ask what her intentions are instead of hypothesizing.


    However...
    Quote Originally Posted by Ruval View Post
    So what does she see in me that I don't see in myself?
    Do NOT ask her this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Spring Haze View Post
    Do NOT ask her this.
    *sigh* okay.

    She wants you to jump her. What are you waiting for?
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    She wants you to kneel between her legs and lick the alphabet.
    "Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lite View Post
    She wants you to kneel between her legs and lick the alphabet.
    Well. Thats a new one for me. Geeze, b/t vibrating eggs and new terms, I'm learning quite a bit from you, Lite.

    Alphabet? Is this a reference to 26 or a shape, sorry, a bit blonde here.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    Well. Thats a new one for me. Geeze, b/t vibrating eggs and new terms, I'm learning quite a bit from you, Lite.

    Alphabet? Is this a reference to 26 or a shape, sorry, a bit blonde here.
    Lick the letter A, B, C, D... Women seem to really like letter T. (Old Sam Kinison skit.)
    "Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lite View Post
    She wants you to kneel between her legs and lick the alphabet.

    LMAO... but it does work..
    "The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."

    - James Allen

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    Oh my goodness...
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    Oh my goodness...

    The technique itself... did not mean for him to actually chase her down and 'man-handle' her... indi..
    "The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."

    - James Allen

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    Lol whoa, interesting responses here... But yeah I kinda figured I was already in her friendzone. I've come to realize that it's not exactly easy to get out of that so that's why I'm not trying to pursue her anymore. I've attempted the whole no-contact strategy but somehow that backfired. She's still sent me text messages asking if I was busy or not so we could hang out. On certain occasions I had to say no because I was busy (I really was) but when I wasn't, well, there really wasn't anything else to do and I honestly do enjoy her company (my question is, does she enjoy mine?) On one instance, when I managed to avoid hanging out with her for a couple of weeks, she actually commented on it. Me, totally not expecting to hear that, just ended up saying, "Oh, I had things to do".

    I mean, yeah, if we're friends then fine not a big deal. But if me being with her somehow gives her an ego-boost then she's definitely wasting her time. Sometimes, I think that perhaps she's exerting more effort than me, having to be the first one to call/text, not paying for her, and usually making her come up with discussion topics. Don't mean to sound like a douchebag but I'm trying to test us both to see how long we'll last. So far, we've lasted for quite a while... which is the scary part, I think.

    @ ecojeanne: Lol if she likes my personality, then I dunno... what sane girl would like a guy who's introverted and has a "whatever" attitude?

    @ Spring Haze: Oh trust me, I would DEFINITELY not ask her that...

    @ Lite: LOL! Nice one.

    @ IndiReloaded: Hehe, I wish I could say that was the case... but nah. She'd seriously take it as rape. If she liked me to begin with, however, then it'd be a different story.

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    Ruval, does she contact you on her own, of her own initiative?
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    Ruval, does she contact you on her own, of her own initiative?
    Yep.

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    Then she is interested in you, silly.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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