When is the right time to "give up on love"?

[Caitlinraeee]

Michael and I dated for a little over a month when he proposed to me. We were inseparable. We loved spending time together. We never stopped laughing. We were engaged for four months before we decided to call off the wedding, or "put it on hold" rather. This was slightly devastating. We have been fighting. A lot. We no longer laugh. We solve our arguments... With sex. He loves me, I know this. I love him too.

... I left Sunday night. Not because I wanted to, but because I needed to. He wanted space. But to "still be together" - I am going bat shit crazy. He cried as I left, and he isn't a crier. He's a manly man, Mr. Insensitive, lol, just like his father. He texted me an hour later "baby tell me the truth, how are you doing, baby I'm a wreck" we have seen each other no more than an hour a day, don't talk that often and my heart is literally in pieces. He told me the things he's sorting out, he doesn't know if they are good or bad.. When do I let go? How long am I supposed to wait? I don't mind waiting, but not at the expense of my sanity! Is it too late? How do we fix our relationship? I plan on talking to him tonight, or is that a bad idea? I don't want to seem pushy. He promised he'll let me come back home.. At this point he's just contradicting himself. So many questions so little time..

I appreciate any advice and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Thank you all and God bless

[songdanceditty]

You've known him for... five months? Hun, you don't know him yet. At four months, you're both still on your best behavior. If you want this relationship to survive, then slow down. If you really are compatible it will work out. If you aren't compatible, it's better to figure that out in the dating phase than the married phase.

[VincenzoG91]

I agree, you two are still getting to know each other. It is way too soon for marriage. Or kids, so be careful with the birth control.

What kinds of things are you two fighting over? If it is trivial stuff, then you are both struggling to control the relationship. If it serious stuff, then maybe you two are just starting to discover that you aren't compatible. Don't think about fixing the relationship, just focus on discovering if there is real compatibility beyond mutual infatuation. Otherwise, the infatuation will eventually fade, and then you will discover the real relationship, which might be a bad one.

The whole point of dating is to determine compatibility. It can be tempting to rush through the dating, to quickly arrive at a happy relationship. Usually at least one of the two people has the common sense to proceed with some caution, because bad relationships and breakups really suck. In this case, you both rushed past the dating stage, leading to your current troubles.