Im really struggling w the idea of growing old w no significant partner to share life with. I am working hard toward a fullfilling life among friends family work and activities, but still i have a sadness that lingers. Sometimes i think that if i did things diff w my ex and not many of the mistakes , i would still be with him, but truth is that nothing made him happy, he was verbally abusive and had a huge role in our unhappiness although he claimed to do everything right. I need to remember that because often i miss him and wish to hear from him but i know its out of loneliness. For the most part i look good for 40 something i am kind, great personality and good heart, but i cant help being concerned about aging without a loving partner by my side. I feel sad as i write. Shared w my therapist today. Readers....i really did love my ex still do. I really thought he was the one. 5 months NC one year apart. Oh well. Pain and heartbreak have substantially lessen but like i said the thoughts of being alone hurt and the sadness lingers.....not all the time, some days more than others.
Any words of encouragement greatly appreciated. Has anyone felt similar. Please be gentle not easy sharing the hurt.