Advice on Not Having Much in Common

[elegance]

G'day folks... I've just joined this forum and I hope ya'll be able to give me some direction with my love. So here's the story in short...

I'm a city gal, although born and bred in the country. I work as an office manager and I'm about to study accounting next year... I've been 'dating' a guy who is a farmer: owns his own wheat/sheep farm and house and has kind of got everything a gal would want... He is quiet and so am I... but we chat about the farm, work and worldly events. The most pressing thing for me is that although he is a wonderful man we really don't have much in common...

I feel if I walk away and find someone who has the same interests as me I'm walking away from a wonderful thing... I have always thought that to make a relationship work you have to have lots of common interests. But we don't have much in common - other than both being workaholics! I've talked to other farmer's wives and they have told me that that didn't have much in common either, but just by being there having dinner on the table at night and a warm house he will love you forever!

[Flight666]

There is more to love than the neccessities of life.
Passion, friendship, romance, intricate conversations... common interests in activity and words... I could go on forever, ha, but shouldn't you expect more out of life?

Loving someone forever as a 'thing to do' doesn't cut it for me.
Has to be true love.

If your persona is of the sort where you like to work, eat and come home to a newspaper conversation, then go for it.

[vashti]

I don't think you need to have common interests, but rather common values.

Interests often change over time. Values don't really do that.

Besides, you can develop common interests.

[elegance]

Thanks Flight666 and Vashti for your thoughts... much appreciated. xox

[QueenofCorona]

I think by not having a ton in common you can experience new things with eachother. Who wants to date someone JUST like themselves? I love it when my bf teaches me about new gadgets (he's really tech savvy) and I like teaching him about music I enjoy or baking new recipes for him. Find a common interest maybe.

I agree 100% on the values mentioned above. People can be night and day different in what they enjoy but if you share the same beliefs that is huge.

[elegance]

Thanks Queen of Corina... I think we can improve on that too... and I guess it's like any friendship you learn and grow with each other...

[munchymonster]

hey!
i have had the same issue with my boyfriend of 5 years.
we have completely opposite tastes in everything possible. I was brought up in a white middle class background whereas he was brought up in a very deprived and crime ridden area. and at one point we did discuss this as a serious issue and were thinking of the possibility of moving on from eachother as a result of it...

however, dispite having not much in common, we still get on really well and enjoy being with eachother so i guess until that stops - why try and fix it??!!! We have similar morals and values about life and what we expect from life so that is more important than having lots of things in common.

yeh sometimes its hard of trying to think of things to do but sometimes it makes us compromise more so that we do that things to do and to talk about.
if ur really enjoying ur time with him why not just give it a go? unless it comes to the day where that stops, surely u dont need to start making hasty decisions?