I've ruined it cause im one of thoes drunk girls? - i swear im not

[ElleHall]

Hi,
I was skeptical at first for doing this, but i think this might be the onlyplace I can get an honest answer. I have been seeing this guy for a little now. We have gone out on dates, I have spent the night (no sex) and he has called me. I will recap the last week for you and you can tell me why you now might think that he wont call me beause ive not let him persue me like i should have. i just get so excited.

so we cmet up and chatted while having drinks 2 thursdays ago. it was fun and we kissed goodnight. then that saturday night i texted him whats up. we met up and hung out pretty late and i ended up spenidng the night. we lounged in bed sunday morning, but he had to get up at 11 and head out to his parents house. he called me on tuesday and asked if i wanted to go out thursday. i said i coudlnt cause i had a sailing race, but i would call him after if he wanted to meet for a drink. he said cool.
i called him thursday but he was not feeling well and already in bed by the time the race ended. i did not hear from him Friday? I did not hear from him saturday so I texted him while i was out with some freinds. THis is where i think i ruined it. i was drunk, pretty drunk. and texting rediculous things like ive have a weird night, but when i see you it will be better. blah blah. he texted me to come meet him. i didn't go right away but then i sort of just ended up at home and he had also texted me he was going home. i called him and no answer. he called me right back and we chatted for a bit. then he was like let me call you back in 10 minutes. never heard from him. went to bed.
the next morning i felt kind of bad, so i texted him "so i guess igot a little drink last night. opps. want to get somethign to eat? maybe ill get you that bagel i still owe you." (bagel is an inside joke)

and I have yet to hear anything from him... no text back, nothing.
have i totally ruined it. did i become one of thoes stupid drunk girls. or am i over reacting. maybe hell call me later? im pretty sure he was into me as he called to see if i wanted to go out last week, but have i officially ruined it. is there any way i can salvage this situation?
uggg
let me know.
elle

[vashti]

This all sounds like a typical but very casual relationship to me. Are you sure you didn't read more meaning into the little time you spent together than you should have?

[ElleHall]

no you are def right that i have read more into the time we spent together. why do i do that, i dont know. the thing is, im not one to really jump into relationships or even get these feelings because i just find that i dont like that many people in that way. i a very socail and outgoing person, but romantic feelings dont happen often for me so when they do i get pretty nervious and blow things out of porportion.
my question is, why didnt he call me back or text me back about getting something to eat with him? isn't that kind of rude and shouldn't i just not want to be with someone thats like that. or is it realistic for me to wait a few days and maybe ill hear from him then. i feel like a girl would never leave an open question hanging out there like that, i invited him to do something. but would a guy do that. just ignore it because maybe he couldnt. that just seems insane to me. i think he's probablay thinking im more touble than good at this point. how can i change that.

[vashti]

my question is, why didnt he call me back or text me back about getting something to eat with him? isn't that kind of rude and shouldn't i just not want to be with someone thats like that. or is it realistic for me to wait a few days and maybe ill hear from him then. i feel like a girl would never leave an open question hanging out there like that, i invited him to do something. but would a guy do that. just ignore it because maybe he couldnt. that just seems insane to me. i think he's probablay thinking im more touble than good at this point. how can i change that.

I think you should let him contact YOU for a change, and let him do the inviting from now on. If he is interested, he will. Oh, and no more drunk-dialing. YOur friends should have stopped you.

[Gigabitch]

I don't understand this staying over with no sex thing. Is that normal where you live, or it that something between the two of you that might be an indicator that this thing isn't really going anywhere anyway?

[jurupa]

Drunk calls unless you are asking for a ride or something, are turn offs to guys and girls for the most part.

I don't think you should let him do all of the inivatation for now on, but most certainly put the ball in his court and let him call you for awhile.

[ElleHall]

yeah, ball is in his court... just not sure hes going to throw it back to me. i can see that the way ive acted would be a huge turn off, especially to him. not that he doesnt drink, he is just a little more mature than that. but, is it normal for me to have texted him and he didnt even get back to me. that makes me wonder if im spinning my wheels even thinking about him when clearly he would have gotten abck to me if he still wantred to hang out later. i mean i dont want to get to serious too soon, but thats just common decencey, right?

as for the no sex thing, i think that is very normal all over the place to sleep in the same bed and not have sex. i would rather have sex with someone i know that im truely comfortable with. i dont think its as enjoyable otherwise. just having sex for the sake of timing and placement is not a good thing for me. it is good fomr some other people though. i also feel that sleeping and making out with someone in bed and waking up in their arms can also be very satisfying. i dont think he would have wanted to have sex right away either. he is somewhat more conservative in his views and i dont think he would respect me as much had i tried. neither of us tried. we jsut enjoyed what we were doing at the time...also, from the few times i have slept over it has been an interesting progression. he use to not relaly want to cuddle at all in the morning, but the last time if slept over he just wanted to have his arms around me all morning. i think it was taking him time to become comfortable as well... but now ive ruined it!

[vashti]

Well, if he is more conservative, and you already slept at his house (which is NOT conservative, whether or not you had sex), and you've been drunk-dialing him, and he doesn't repsond to your messages, I wouldn't be holding my breath.

[ElleHall]

yes i do spell poorly. this is something ive done my whole life... one because i just dont spell well and two, im too impatient to check what i have written.
i dont take offense to that at all, because im about 99% sure that Georgetown doesnt accept illiterate students. that said, there is a 1% chance for error. maybe it was my lucky day when they let me in.
thanks for your advice/response. it has helped

[jurupa]

yes i do spell poorly. this is something ive done my whole life... one because i just dont spell well and two, im too impatient to check what i have written.
i dont take offense to that at all, because im about 99% sure that Georgetown doesnt accept illiterate students. that said, there is a 1% chance for error. maybe it was my lucky day when they let me in.
thanks for your advice/response. it has helped

If you are a poor speller off the bat then texting will only make it worse for you. It would be in your best interest to work on becoming a better speller than you are right now. I would say you got lucky with Georgetown, but if you want a high level job down the road, I bet you something as simple as poor spelling will stop you in your career path.

One way to become a better speller is to read books. Start with books that are tad below your current reading level and work your way up to harder books. This what I did in high school, mostly becuase the English teacher I had for two years straight forced us to read books. But when I got to the 11th grade I was reading adult level books just fine.

[mac.daddy]

jurupa, you probably have a fupa. leave this simpleton alone. it's not her fault she's slow.

[ElleHall]

yous our ull write, eye'll nuvr git a jawb nowe

and i can kiss all guys goodbye.
see, that's the thing that maybe you are confused about. i went to a great school, im actually quite successful. this whole issue on my spelling has really thrown me. im surprised people have taken a deeper interest in mildly insulting me that actually trying to help with the problem at hand.

[vashti]

Ignore them. I know for a fact that your spelling is certainly no worse than at least one of those who are criticizing you, and if you have a look through their posts, you will be able to see it, too.

[ElleHall]

tooxshort, i guess you could be right about not meeting up with him right away, but that combined with the blatent drunk dialing may have pushed him over the line. we'll see.

what im hung up on is that i just cant get it out of my head how absurd it is that he didn't even text me back on Sunday morning when I asked him to go get something to eat. it seems that maybe he is just cooling off a bit, but still... From everything ive ever heard, if he's interested he'll get a hold of me right? And usually sooner than later.

with that said, he usually calls me on a tuesday, so i guess we'll have to see if he calls tonight. not holding my breath, though.

[jurupa]

jurupa, you probably have a fupa. leave this simpleton alone. it's not her fault she's slow.

I was trying to help her. So what if she is slow or not. If she is willing to learn and get better that all that matters. I am not trying to get down on her either. A lot of people make a decision as to how smart you are from how well you type a letter to them. ElleHall could know the world about art and classical music (for example), but with poor spelling she would not be able communicate such things.

I know I am not prefect either I got my weaknesses as well. But I do know that I can help ElleHall get better at spelling tho. It is there if she wants it. I go as slow or as fast as needed.

ElleHall - I did not mean to get down on you, and was only trying to help. Hopefully you understand. As far as the guy goes I would say the ball is in his court. And yes if he is interested he will contact you in some manner, it being thru texting or by phone.