Bad reaction?

[jaybozie]

Ended a three year relationship in March. Well, she ended it to tell the truth. I thought I was over her, but recently I have become un sure. I have been in complete isolation from her since our break up; I have even gone on a couple dates since then. However just recently I heard that she may be seeing someone else now. Didn't bother me much till I saw her profile on facebook was updated with a pic with her leaning on someone else. On closer inspection it was just one of her friends but by the time I noticed that my heart was already beating so hard I felt hot. I don't know if I was angry...sad...or what.

This is worrying me because I don't want any baggage with her to interfer with any relationship I try in the future. Any idea of what I could do to help? Or am I still just experiencing normal reactions even though the break up happened 8 months ago.

[starbuck]

I would, first of all, stop looking at her facebook pages. Checking up on someone in this way is not going to help you get over her.

Jay, people get over breakups at their own pace. Some move on fast, others take a little longer. Your reaction was normal. It's what you do next that is important. And I think a helpful thing would be to really cut off any contact with her or refrain from trying to find out if she's in a new relationship.

[Mish]

This is worrying me because I don't want any baggage with her to interfer with any relationship I try in the future. Any idea of what I could do to help? Or am I still just experiencing normal reactions even though the break up happened 8 months ago.

Your life book chapter with you and her is closed now and it's time to open up the new chapter filled with lots of other new and wonderful experiences. It doesn't matter who she is with now, what matters is what you will do to forget about her and just be happy. Just be happy and then you will slowly get over her.

[lisalisa]

It's been almost 6 months since he ended our long term relationship (9 years). He didn't want our relationship the way it was (distant and withdrawn) and I agree, however I wanted to try counselling to see if we could repair things and get everything out and try again. He didn't want that. He wants to be friends and has attempted that. I said I just need time to heal.

A month ago he contacted me to let me know it hasn't been easy for him, sometimes he does miss me and it hurts and he's not very happy and hasn't moved on completely (he is seeing someone else). He didn't want me to go on thinking he was all happy and had moved on completely.

I don't know what to make of that.

I miss him so much it hurts sometimes too. I am making big efforts to change for myself and am doing really well in that respect. Looking at myself has been hard, but necessary and I am growing. When it comes to him, I still love him and want us to be together. Not the way it was, but better.

Do I put my heart out there and say I want to try again? Or maintain a friendship - how could I knowing he's with someone else? But maybe if I try, I will see this is the way it's meant to be? Maybe I am afraid of accepting all we will ever be again is friends. But if we're not, then nothing could ever come of it. He's someone I admire, love and respect, who I can't imagine not being in my life.

Any suggestions?