How to avoid the Friend-zone?

[Matthew]

Hey girls, first of all; great to have you around - Advice straight from the source are always the best.

I'm a 21 year-old average looking guy, not a guido-douche, but not a geek either.

I've met this girl, she's good looking, we share the same interests, and she's fun to be around. She's into computer-games, like myself, and therefore she has a lot of guy friends.

I know she recently broke up with a guy she was with for a couple of months, and he was treating her real badly, so I think she's nervous about jumping into relationships just now. So I'm thinking, I like her, but I don't want to pressure her into a relationship just now if she doesn't feel like it.

We talk online (Games, texts, IM's etc.) almost every day, but how do I stay in contact with her, talk with her, and show her that i'm interested, without alienating myself or the worst; get too deep into the friend-zone? Is it even possible?

[Only-virgins]

Don't be her friend. It is that simple.

[Matthew]

If I start acting differently she's gonna wonder what's going on and ask questions.

[BoredGeorge]

Normally I'd say be positive, drop the negative attitude and work on your personality but girls who are into games are usually.. ummm... how can I say this in a positive manner, they're usually (super awesomoe nice chicks who make great girlfriends)^(-1).

^(-1) - (that means inverse ie the opposite).

[Sanctuary]

You sound like you're already in the friend zone.

No girl is nervous about jumping into a relationship if they meet the right guy. If they say otherwise, they are probably lying to you.

The only way to get out of the friend zone is to make a move. So do it.

[Matthew]

After me and my ex broke up I've become a bit of a nice-guy. Mostly because I've been insecure. I'd like to change those ways, and I'm trying to find the guy inside of me that I used to be. When I've found him I'm gonna try and see if I can get a spark in her, because it's definitly worth a try.

If there are any more advice I'd like to hear from you
Thanks

[Sanctuary]

If you go workout, it's one way to build your confidence. You can buy some weights and do some light lifting and calisthenics at home. You feel better about yourself too.

[kms]

Do you know her in real life or just online? If she's nearby, just ask her if she wants to go get some coffee. That'd be one way for her to see you outside of gaming, but still be one-on-one, yet in a public place so she doesn't feel 'pressured'. The way to avoid being a friend is, like someone else suggested, to make a move.

[Matthew]

I know her in real life, she just told me she likes to play World of Warcraft, and I said I would try it, so I made a character on the same server. Think I will wait a while, get her wondering why I'm moving away and then ask her out for something easy, like coffee.

[IndiReloaded]

If I start acting differently she's gonna wonder what's going on and ask questions.

That's a good thing. Let her ask. Answer that you have started to have feelings for her and it would be cool if you could go out to a movie/show/outing next week.

Good luck.

[jellybean13]

With girls you need to establish early on that you have not only a friendly interest in her but a sexual interest as well. If you don't do this in the beginning you run the risk of being stuck in the friend zone. Girls start to compartmentalize things in their heads and as soon as they see you as just a friend it becomes hard as hell to ever dig yourself out of that situation. I would suggest that you just be honest with her. Tell her how you feel and say that although this may not be the best time since she just got out of a bad relationship that you are willing to wait and take it slow. She MUST know what your ultimate intentions are though.

[jenniferx]

the friend zone seems to just be another word for one of you isn't interested. It should lead were it was meant to.. Unless there is the chance that she just has never thought of it as more. So my advice, see where it leads. If friends, make a move and I'm sure the outcome of that will be your answer

[Sanctuary]

With girls you need to establish early on that you have not only a friendly interest in her but a sexual interest as well. If you don't do this in the beginning you run the risk of being stuck in the friend zone. Girls start to compartmentalize things in their heads and as soon as they see you as just a friend it becomes hard as hell to ever dig yourself out of that situation. I would suggest that you just be honest with her. Tell her how you feel and say that although this may not be the best time since she just got out of a bad relationship that you are willing to wait and take it slow. She MUST know what your ultimate intentions are though.

Every guy here needs to read that ^.

So many guys I know take so goddamn long to let a girl know that he likes her. You don't have to blurt out that you like her but if you act like just a friend but you secretly want her as a girlfriend then what the ****?

[lilly1185]

If you're playing WoW with her;
Head over to the Auction House. Find her an adorable companion pet. Mail it to her with a cute little letter; "I was thinking about you, and wanted to know if you would like to go to the movies with me X night.
-Name"