Domestic Violence Bias

[JustPassing]

Dear all,

Today many people are raising awareness of the bias in the portrayal of domestic violence in the media and in our legal systems.

However, domestic abuse is equally, if not more, likely to be perpetrated by women with male victims as it is the other way around.

Do you agree that the bias in domestic violence implicating men as the primary perpetrators has gone too far?

All thoughts and opinions welcome. I'm more interested in male views, hence the placement of this post in 'Ask a Male forum' but all views are welcome.

[Gigabitch]

Do you feel that men are in as much danger as women? I am by no means advocating physical abuse of anyone, but I think the reason the media tends to pick up on the cases of physical abuse of women more often is that they tend to be hospitalized or killed more often.

Please, spread the word about how women are abusive to men, but don't ever expect it to receive equal attention.

[vashti]

I see lots more women hospitalized than men for domestic violence. It may (or may not) be true that women are equally likely to be physical, but they are much less likely to inflict actual damage. Considering that males tend to be more physical in other areas, though, I am inclined to believe they are more physical in this way, too.

[DoesntMatter]

I said yes because we are talking about WITHIN a relationship. WITHIN a relationship men are more likely to be jerks than women (observation). Not only that, women are physically weaker so how could a women "beat" a man?

OUTSIDE of relationships, women are crueller than men. Women have caused me far more pain than men can or ever will

[Only-virgins]

I vote yes, men have or at least believe that they are the physically more dominant individual and will try to express themself with violence if things don't go the way they want it too. These man are of course pathetic when they hit someone they supposedly love. Women can get pretty nasty with words though.

[DoesntMatter]

I vote yes, men have or at least believe that they are the physically more dominant individual

It's a true belief most of the time

[Kiechi]

I vote yes, men have or at least believe that they are the physically more dominant individual and will try to express themself with violence if things don't go the way they want it too. These man are of course pathetic when they hit someone they supposedly love. Women can get pretty nasty with words though.

That was brilliant.

[Junket]

Are you referring to physical abuse as opposed to verbal/emotional abuse?

Or all combined?

If you're doing research, you gotta be specific.

[Babydoll]

It really depends on the individual. I think confident women are more likely to be abusive. I know my grandmother has often thrown plates at my grandfather.. my aunty stabbed my uncle in the hand.. and I have lashed out and punched guys in the face when they've pissed me off. I often give my boyfriend a dig if he's irritating me.. but it's always playful and leads to him pinning me down and you can guess the rest.
I think nowadays domestic abuse is perpetrated equally by women if not more than men. In a verbal sense anyways. I think it has become more even because women are now more confident and as a result men have grown to respect women more and therefore not hitting them as much as they would have 50 years ago. Most men would not strike a woman if she had hit him, and even though I have hit men in the past.. I still don't think this principle is entirely fair. It is a major reason for the lack of awareness for the abuse some men have had inflicted upon them, because it's not exactly the most manly thing in the world; to admit that you have been abused by a woman. You could argue that in a way this principle oppresses and degrades women (a form of abuse?) because men look at them as being lesser beings, hence it being a form of shame to be beaten by one.
The media isn't only sympathetic towards women. It's now sympathetic to any social group that has has a history of oppression, black people being a prime example. The white middle-class man is generally overlooked when it comes to oppression because they primarily are the dominant ones in society.

And if you want my personal opinion.. it's woman's turn to rule the world... so beat dat bad boy down!

[bluesummer]

My experience of domestic abuse tends to be that men are typically more physically abusive, where women are more emotionally/verbally/psychologically abusive. Each sex just uses its most deadly weapon...for men it's their physical strength, and women, their tongue (I wanted to say brain, but I realized that might sound biased lol).

Women definitely need to start being held accountable for abuse in a relationship as well....they get away with it oftentimes because the man is too ashamed to admit his 'little woman' is beating on him. I don't think, however, that we should be in anyway undermining the seriousness of male domestic abuse against women. How many times have you heard of a man being killed by his wife in a domestic dispute? Obviously, it's far less common.

I suffered severe emotional abuse with my ex husband, and it bordered on physical at times. I refused to hit him though, no matter how much he infuriated me ( I caught him cheating, and STILL I didn't hit him). I figured it was degrading and low. I don't think it's cool, 'modern', or anything of the sort for a woman of today to be kicking some male ass just because we think we can. People that hit other people are low human beings. I couldn't even slap someone, I consider it so disgusting. No one has a right to hit anyone. Period.

[JustPassing]

Are you referring to physical abuse as opposed to verbal/emotional abuse?

Or all combined?

If you're doing research, you gotta be specific.

Sorry, you're correct. I should have been more specific.

I am referring primarily to physical abuse, however, in the question I am asking about abuse in general.

I'm just interested in people’s views, as many people are starting to highlight the problem of women who abuse men, and how they often get away with it due to biases in our culture and legal system.

[LostNotFound]

men can do far more physical damage, but I agree with whoever said women have a way with words.

however, i think, especially where i live verbal abuse is waaaaay higher than any physical abuse. but that may also be because physical abuse is hidden,
.

[Junket]

I'm far more proficient at verbal/emotional abuse, only because, yeah, it's hard to cite somebody on that, than it is to cite them on a bruise.

I grew up in a household where grudges were often held and insults were shot out of a machine gun. Where you could use a gift for somebody against them later, as a means to guilt them. Where the children were used as scapegoats for their parents mistakes and publicly humiliated and ridiculed for it.

Oh, my family was bad. Very bad.

I know how to break somebody down. I was taught how to at a young age. I think the ratio of males using emotional abuse as a weapon as opposed to women is probably fairly equal.

Most people start with words.

Men are just more likely to finish with fists.

[Tedel]

I agree with the posts above: Women are more abusive in terms of emotional abuse. As for men, you have to really infuriate him a lot to have him hit you. Most of us just stop ourselves from hitting a girl.

The only place I think you should hit someone else is his her butt, and in a very sexy manner. Make love not war.

[boobaa]

Males do physical damage, women do mental damage. That sums it all up I guess. I don't know, which is worse...