bestfriend vs boyfriend

[genesys4]

i have Qs,
is it a logical thing for a girl to have A(guy) as a best friend and at the same time to have B as boyfriend as well?

futher, if a girl spends more time with A than B, what do you think would happen to a relationship like that?

lastly, if A & B are best friends, what would the implications be?

[Cain]

If my girlfriend spent more time with another guy than me, we wouldn't be dating any more. In my opinion, if you have a bf, you're best male friend should be your bf. Same thing if a guy has a gf... his best female friend should be his gf.

[anachronistic]

Knowing that a girlfriend has a guy for a best friend instantly makes the boyfriend weary of what *might* be happening between them. If you spend a lot of time with the best friend, the boyfriend might get jealous and/or really suspicious. I dated a girl that tried to pull off the whole 'but all I did was spend the night at his house' trick.

Of course, you may have a guy who is your best friend at the beginning, which is perfectly fine... but further along into the relationship, the boyfriend should eventually 'replace' the best friend. I mean that eventually, your lover does become your best friend, and you hold him in the highest regard. Why? Because (hopefully and rightfully so) your boyfriend gets to know you better than anyone else ever could. And you him. By that point though, you should both trust each other enough to not have to worry about those kinds of things. And of course you should still have those friends. True friends are the kind you can never lose.

[lastwish]

I see my guyfriends and romantic partners as two different kinds of people. In a pure friendship, the demands are lower because you can have more than one friend. For an exclusive romantic partnership, my expectations are way higher because I can only be with one. Possible chances of jealousy, possessiveness, and strong emotions are higher in a romantic partnership.

I don't think its problematic if a girl or a guy spends more time with their friends (whether they are from the same sex or opposite sex) than with their romantic partners as long as their relationship is no more than just friends. A friendship is just a friendship no matter how much time two people spend together.

[boobaa]

Of course boyfriend may come first when even girl spends considerable amount of time with her best friend, who happens to be a male. But eventually the kiss will happen, I know the girl feels quite bad after that but that doesn't change anything, its tension. An immature act I call it is. There is no need for tension.

Lastwish, what exactly does your guy best friend have that your boyfriend hasn't? So, are you attracted to your boyfriend only physically? Wtf?

And more, the guy bestfriend may have feelings even. So basically it creates a lot of tension and can hurt both guys. But of course, a self centered girl doesn't know that.

[anachronistic]

Honestly, I wouldn't want to spend more than 2 nights out of the week with a girlfriend at this point. I wouldn't care if the girl hung out with guy friends, just as long as she was worth trusting.

Don't want anything to do with those stupid bitches that get drunk and 'taken advantage of'.

[lastwish]

Lastwish, what exactly does your guy best friend have that your boyfriend hasn't? So, are you attracted to your boyfriend only physically? Wtf?

Physical attraction would be one factor. But there are more. Compatibility as lovers is another. And then there's also this X factor that is really hard to pin down. People just happen to fall for one person and not another. No logical explanation.

[anachronistic]

Physical attraction would be one factor. But there are more. Compatibility as lovers is another. And then there's also this X factor that is really hard to pin down. People just happen to fall for one person and not another. No logical explanation.

Bullshit! There is no such thing as an X factor... well in terms of romance anyway. You don't just simply like someone. You like them for a reason, or a few reasons. These reasons are better suit than the reasons for liking Person A over person B. Everybody knows that.

[lastwish]

Bullshit! There is no such thing as an X factor... well in terms of romance anyway. You don't just simply like someone. You like them for a reason, or a few reasons. These reasons are better suit than the reasons for liking Person A over person B. Everybody knows that.

Who says? Just because you say that doesn't mean everyone else in the world agrees with you.

I said there is no logical explanation. Which means that the reason are illogical and subconscious...hard to pin down. You can disagree with me but I think there is a component of love that is hard to explain. Love is illogical, no?

[Cain]

Who says? Just because you say that doesn't mean everyone else in the world agrees with you.

I said there is no logical explanation. Which means that the reason are illogical and subconscious...hard to pin down. You can disagree with me but I think there is a component of love that is hard to explain. Love is illogical, no?

I agree with LW. There are reasons for falling for a person. There might be a little something in your subconscious that you can't pinpoint, but that shouldn't be one of only three reasons.

You really wouldn't have a problem with your bf having a best friend that's a female? And one that he spends MORE time with than you?

[genesys4]

i know that attraction is illogical for women, they love a person for no apparent reason ...it's because of that basis I 'find' women

BUT the question of bestfriend (NOT normal friend) is another thing! I wouldn't mind she spends time with her (guy)friends, because I know my position from others.

BUT when it comes to bestfriend vs boyfriend, how do you put a line between 2? and to the guys, if she spends more time with bestfriend(NOT normal friends), why would she need a boyfriend(even if she says that a "thin" line exist between them)?

[Cain]

i know that attraction is illogical for women, they love a person for no apparent reason ...it's because of that basis I 'find' women

BUT the question of bestfriend (NOT normal friend) is another thing! I wouldn't mind she spends time with her (guy)friends, because I know my position from others.

BUT when it comes to bestfriend vs boyfriend, how do you put a line between 2? and to the guys, if she spends more time with bestfriend(NOT normal friends), why would she need a boyfriend(even if she says that a "thin" line exist between them)?

Bullshit. Women have to find their SOs attractive. Now, I will submit and say that women can find an unattractive man attractive because of his personality, but she will still find him attractive overall.

[lastwish]

You really wouldn't have a problem with your bf having a best friend that's a female? And one that he spends MORE time with than you?

I would probably feel jealous. But then decide that whatever he does is not within my control. And however he feels isn't within his or my control either. I'll just hope he'll be honest with me.

[Cain]

I would probably feel jealous. But then decide that whatever he does is not within my control. And however he feels isn't within his or my control either. I'll just hope he'll be honest with me.

Limits develop once a person enters a relationship. Maybe I'm just different, but if my girl was spending more time with another guy than me, we'd be breaking up. If she wants to spend more time with another guy, she should be dating him and not me.

[anachronistic]

Who says? Just because you say that doesn't mean everyone else in the world agrees with you.

I said there is no logical explanation. Which means that the reason are illogical and subconscious...hard to pin down. You can disagree with me but I think there is a component of love that is hard to explain. Love is illogical, no?

Just because nobody agrees with one, does not mean one is wrong.

But anyway, it is purely common sense. Relationships don't depend on an x-factor. You might as well flip a coin and act based on the results - but even that is acting on reason.

There is a reason and rhyme for everything. Just because YOU can't figure it out, doesn't mean it does not exist. Come on, Lastwish.