So she asked me out

[RezИor]

Making this quite short, we're both in our mid 20s.

Met this girl in early November, and we had a lot of common, for example we're both vegetarians - anyway we had so much in common that it basically became our own little joke that it was almost eerie that evening and when we talked some times after that we found out some more although small but funny things that we had in common, i.e. we both have a sister that's exactly 17 years older than us. We've had some laughs about things like that.

Anyway even a week or so after we had met each other and exchanged numbers we talked about meeting and hanging out someday. She's been busy with work though, having a lot of nightshift weekends. About 3 weeks ago I asked if she wanted to do something and all was good but both of us got other things that we had to take care of (Holidays and all that)

However a few days ago she asked me if we should "go out and have a beer or something next week?" (since we have the same favorite beer haha xD) - to me that sounds like she wants to hook up at a bar or something, which I guess is fine but she still gotta get up for work the day after so we're not getting wasted (not that I'd want that). I told her it sounded good though and that I could give her a call later this week to see which day is the best to meet.

However for the first time I actually feel a bit uneasy about not just hanging out at either my place or her place, I've never met someone for the first (or well second since I met her at a club) time and have a beer and stuff, and while I'm good at keeping a conversation going it feels like it's going to feel a bit forced or shortlived?

Haha, yeah this feels silly and it probably looks like I'm too paranoid/full of thoughts but I never expected a nice girl like this to just turn up into my life right now, I'm quite picky about girls

[MerryH]

Uh, it's better not to just hang out at your place or hers on a first date. That's pretty boring. I don't know why you think it would be more awkward at a bar than at your apartment. A bar has things to do, people to look at, background noise, etc. Your apartment is uninteresting, or maybe even rapeville to a girl who doesn't really know you.

Have a good time, stop worrying.

[smackie9]

You must go to a date with a positive outlook, and focus on having a good time. You have a lot in common so there shouldn't be any awkward moments. Remember girls like to go out and socialize.....like the above said, sitting at home is boring. I hope you like dancing because that's the best way to a girl's heart.

[VincenzoG91]

She wants this to feel like a date, in hopes of this turning into a relationship. If you just hooked up after hanging out with each other for a while, this could drift into FWB territory, which is generally worthless in the long run.

[RezИor]

Thanks for the input, yeah I am indeed very positive about this. And I have to say that I never thought about that whole FWB scenario that's a really really good advice or thought. Once again, appreciate the input and I already got a better feeling about this.

[RezИor]

Hah, well this is typical I guess.

So, this Friday I decided to send her a short text and a little hello since it was her 'Name day' where I'm located - well that was obviously appreciated since I got no response.

Then just as I had sent it I realized that I had for some stupid reason told her that I'm going to call her later this (that) week (even though she was the one asking me out), anyway I figured that since she asked me out she'll probably get in touch in one way or another. And that I wouldn't bother with calling since maybe it would seem desperate.

Now to the even greater part, while I'm not on that often on MSN I had to talk to this friend of mine, his cellphone is dead, anyway she was online there and I thought about going offline and calling her - but dumb as I was I decided to write "Hey " - think I got a response? Nope.

Alright, that was yesterday and since this has been bugging me more than I thought, I decided to get online on MSN again, yeah why didn't I just call you might ask?

Well, because I haven't heard a single thing from her or any interest since she asked me out last Tuesday. Sure, I get it, the guy should do all the stuff old style perhaps, but I would prefer to hear anything at all so she didn't just ask it out of the blue. Paranoia rules, huh ? Anyway yeah, once again, I wrote something short on MSN as she was online (her online status switching between away and online about 8 times for 3h or so before going off without a sound)

So, what gives? I actually love talking on the phone and I'm really good at it, also find it easy to keep a conversation going without being the only one babbling on and on, so that's not really the issue here.

Should I call her tomorrow or what's your take on this situation?

Best,

-A

Edit: Well, I will call her tomorrow to either get closure on this or continue our meeting plans. Still this irks me ^^ As it seems like I haven't had the balls to call haha.

[MerryH]

You said you were going to call her. You really should have called her. Don't worry so much about seeming desperate, especially since you had already arranged this call.

It's not a great sign that she's not responding to your IMs, but it's the internet. It doesn't matter. Why don't you call her today?

[RezИor]

Yeah, pretty stupid but I might as well say that she "should've" replied to my short text, as that was sent two days before I was supposed to call, don't you think?

Can't call her now since it's midnight here Oh well, all in all tomorrow will be interesting. I do really find her interesting (which is rare for me nowadays) - otherwise I'd probably move on.

Edit: About that call, I'm thinking about keeping it casual and be something like "So, any plans for the rest of the week or you want to do something tomorrow? (Thursday)" - wrong approach?

[MerryH]

Ah. That is a good reason not to call her now. Good thinking! Ha.

Yeah, she should have texted you back and like I said, that's not a good sign. But do call her one more time and casually ask her out. Here's about how your side of the conversation should sound:

"Do you have plans tomorrow? I was hoping you would meet up with me [here] at [this time]."
"Oh, you're busy tomorrow? When are you free?"
"Ok, sure, check your day planner and get back to me. Can you let me know later today?"

If she doesn't call you back, then she doesn't want to hang out with you. Forget she exists.

[RezИor]

Thanks for taking your time to reply again. I was going to reply more but it's too hard to explain what I was thinking haha, anyway, I'll post here tomorrow for an update if you're interested (or future readers)

[MerryH]

I'll post here tomorrow for an update

Yes, please!