My beloved BF left me coz he loves me - i'm Heart broken

[exprezo]

I first started my post in "Love Advice" forum about my BF wants to breakup coz he loves martial arts more than anything else in his life and dont want to be with me. He later agreed to 10-day cool off period to give ourselves another try. He didnt make it to 10th day and texted me on 6th day, requesting to see me the NEXT day. We got back together, he told me we gonna make this work..he will learn to share his time with me. But he also came clean and told me during the cool off period he kissed his coworker, a bitch whom I know as well. Nevertheless, I accepted him coz I really love him. I also have to admit he broke my heart AND trust...
That happened on May 10th.

Today is May 23rd, he did not call me for 4 days, no texts...just vanished So i called him today. He wanted to talk about something with me so we met at 630pm today. First thing he told me WITH A SMILE is.."babe..I am such a bad bf. I dont have time...just been so busy" Hearing that, I initiated to tell him lets talk and work a schedule out...I am busy too, not only him. After 1-2 hrs hangout and chat...I wanted to get back to the topic to straight things out by really work out a schedule to meet his and my needs. Coz I dont need another heart break, I love him.

He then said "I dont think I can work this out. I need to go now Bye" And he wanted to leave the venue. I held him back coz he cannot just told me half way and leave!!! I need to know what the hell is he talking about. he told me he loves me and whenever we hangout he is very happy, so AM I. We both are SO connected to each other, we finish each others' sentences....we understand each other even tho we only together like 2 months!! [in relationship,...NOT only dating]

BUT whenever he is not with me, he feels terrible and want to breakup coz he feels he loves his private time so much and dont have time for me. He feels wrong to me. This is ABSURD...and he never even want to give it a try to work it out for me. What kinda BS is this?

I asked him if this breakup is coz of another chic and he says no, no other human involves but himself. Guess what? I secretly checked his cell text msg [yes i m wrong, SORRY but if i didnt do it..I wont find out that...]


text msg #1: "i am too immature...I dont have time for her...." [i think he meant no time for me]

Text msg #2: he sent a text message to a person which he only puts last name...."Dont get me wrong I really want to see you but it's just been too busy lately. Also one thing i REALLY REALLY MISS ****ING U. Dont worry in a week or two I promise we can see each other"

............................

I asked face to face again and he says no others involve and believe me...his face was so truthful when answering me..to the point that I really trusted him on his answer BUT.........how can I explain on his text message? And he uses the word "****" to her???

Everyone at his office who knows me [I used to work in the same co but my contract ended] knows I am his GF, serious, real GF. How can he do such a thing to me? Why canot he be dedicated and commit to me?

I dont know how to heal myself. Should I try again to win him back? I have never encountered a guy whom I am so connected, almost I can call like soul mate.....this is sucks....it's affecting me a lot...I didnt eat today and heart burns kick in..........

[lahnnabell]

Sounds like he's been screwing around. I don't think you can win this. Let him go and begin the healing process. I'm sorry

[Cosmo]

It doesn't matter what he's doing or why. He's all sorts of wrong and you need to stay as far away from him as possible.

lots of fish in the sea, you'll find a better one.

[Alvy]

Run girl, run for the hills. Unless you're going to die tomorrow, there will always be someone who you can connect with just as well, but without all this unnecessary drama.

[xxazurexx]

He's screwing around....END OF.

He won't admit it, because he doesn't want to hurt you anymore than he already is and has. He is far too much of a coward, to be honest with you. People who love you, don't send messages to other people, saying they can't wait to f**k them again.

Bombarding him with calls, texts and demands to know what is going on, won't bring him back

You are best off just walking away and leaving this tosser behind.

[exprezo]

I could not sleep, it hurts like hell I know what I wrote as my signature in this forum....but I cannot still....accept the fact. It's very fresh. I start to connect the dots together....I think all the things he said and told me...are lies.......lies lies lies......it's not coz of martial arts that he didnt have time for me...I think he didnt have time coz he has to screw around.........I dunno, just my speculation. This morning I woke up like a zombie...my mind is like gonna explode. How could somebody do that. I have been faithful, giving the SPACE he requested, giving the TIME he requested...forgiving him for kissing his coworker during our "cool off period". I didn't even text nor call him when I don't hear from him for DAYS.

He is the one who pursued me...he came into my life....not me! Why be reckless with my heart. I warned him about that [like if u r just playing then im not ur target, we can b just frens] before we started our dates. I am physically at work now but my soul is i think..in hell. It's tough for me to pretend happy but......I cannot cry at work!

My chest is so heavy now, the pressure...the burden.........WHAT CAN I DO?

[Cosmo]

Relax. Take a few breaths. This guy was a tool. Seriously, test him on the douchebag test (google it). Did he say 'bro' and 'babe' a lot?

It's only the first few days, it gets easier. And you will honestly feel better by the end. You'll be stronger and you no longer have to worry about this total lamewad.

Life is a journey, learn your lessons and look to the future. People who focus on their pasts invariably need therapy because no one lives a charmed life. I mean, I found out my fiance was cheating 14 days ago and I'm doing just peachy. My lowest moment was maybe 3 days after we were separated. Now I barely think about her, when I do its "when is she going to get her shit out of my house and out of my life"

Based on what you've said about this guy, 8/10 guys in a group will be better then this guy and will treat you better. You'll have stronger feelings for someone else in the future. Just roll with it and relax.

[exprezo]

To Cosmo sorry to hear about your fiance cheated. But also thanks for all the soothing advice. Thanks so much to this forum so I can keep logging in and read and remind myself that my BF is a jerk. If not coz of this forum I will just sit at home and think think and think and act wrongly such as calling him. It's very hard for me to get thru my day at work or at home later.....arrgghhh.....what is the best way to kill the pain by not taking Advil? [kidding]

I wish this is just a headache when tylenol or advil can cure....but my heart hurts..and no medicine to cure me. YES Cosmo he alwyas call me babe...why you asked?

To be honest...I have 2-selves now...my sane n logic self told me to run ASAP from this jerk. My emotional self STILL wants him back.

I am actually very confused by what he told me. I can NEVER imagine he screws around...from how he treated me before.what he told me..........I mean have you ever tried looking into somebody's eyes when he/she tells u I LOVE U?

He still told me he loves me when he walked out my door last night. The reason I title my post this way is coz I asked him why he breaking up with me and he told me coz He loves me and I deserve somebody better who can give me 100% of the time and attention. That just leads me to find the answer more.....how can you leave somebody u claim u love?

He even said I am an amazing GF but he has NO capacity for any serious relationship now coz he wants his time and space. Is that why he goes f**k around?

[exprezo]

Anyone can tell me INSTANT cure for my first few days? I have read enough articles on how to get over a breakup and I agree with those tips such as work out, do things you like, bla bla bla......yes but those are not easy for me to start now...I know later I can do it but just not now. Those are for more long term benefit but I really need super instant cure to heal my heart now. I cannot talk to my home gal or buddy no more about him. They hv heard enough me repeating the same wrong doing my bf did 2me.......I need to give them a break..they are just human beings you know...I dont want to lose my good frens coz I keep whinning...oh GOD please help me!

[Cosmo]

There is no secret. The first few days suck. Go hang out with a best friend that you can confide in.

Personally I worked on cars and applied for jobs. Application processes can take up to an hour each and really take your mind off things.

I thought my life was over and was mildly suicidal. My friend constantly said 'moving forward and up, tonnes of fish in the sea' and he was right. The first three days were extremely hard. I went for a few walks by myself, I spent 6 hours detailing my Mustang, I did the brakes on my buddies '68 cougar, I brought my friends 1952 IHF L-110 into the city for him, I restarted my work on my 1947 Kb-1, I went golfing probably 20 times haha. Went to the bar twice, went to some house parties, been to the lounge a few times. My goal has been to make female friends, to reciprocate those 'smiles' you get while your walking.

You need to find something that you can do that will take your mind off things. There is no instant cure, just live through it and you'll feel SO much better after.

I feel a lot better and every day I literally feel stronger than I've ever been.

[VincenzoG91]

Do not, I repeat, do not go get a haircut during the first few days after a breakup. If you do, you will probably deliberately get a terrible haircut that you will regret in the coming weeks. I don't know why, that's just how it goes.

[exprezo]

Hi, just wanna share...I am still here.........but just cried alot and still very sad

[Cosmo]

Stay strong! Find something to do! I don't even think of her anymore when I'm rocking the bachelor life.

I was a boring scud when I was in my relationship... sit around, watch TV, eat Tofu... ... I've gone back to my old ways pre-relationship: Guitar, gym, car, protein shakes, friends, threw out all those BS country cd's and started blasting Children of Bodom, Lamb of God and metallica. Walking around EVERYWHERE with no shirt, farting when ever I want, I started growing my goatee back out and throwing my dirty clothes into a big pile for a week before I wash them. I've become every girls worst nightmare again and I'm LOVING it. ... And guess what, the girls love it too! It's hilarious, I think women want a 'project'.

Now is your chance to be you without any other restraints!

[exprezo]

To Cosmo

Oh my GODDDD...u r funny and hello too much info!!! Farting? geez I don need to know that....oh boy...but it did make me laugh LoL.

But i learned that anyone in a relationship should not transform yourself to somebody NOT U...ur partner should accept the way u r...thats call compatible...of coz small minor changes to compromise are needed.

bTW r u korean...coz u say eat tofu...LoL just funny the way u say it.

I think my sub concious wants my BF [ex] back.....i DO go out I do try to have fun...but it's damn hard for me to fake the face..the happy face........i really miss him