Wanted: From "Best Friend" to "S.O." stories

[221bBakerStreet]

Does anyone have a story in which you and another person were best friends for a year or more, then started a romantic relationship? If so, please relate it here. I am interested in seeing if it is possible to date your best friend.

Or, if anyone has a horror story to share about attempting to date a close friend, please post it.

[hotchick]

HI im with my man and i have been for 4 yrs now we were mates for 2 yrs before anything happend We used to go out to the pub and meet up with friends we both said we didnt think of each other as anything else other than friends up untill the last half of our 2nd year friendship i already had a boyf but he was really violent toward me and he helped me through the tough times saying i deserverd better so i ditched my then boyf and started living again but we was different we would cuddle for longer and look at each other differently.
Then out of the blue i was instant messenging him and something made me put i fancy you like mad do you feel the same and like what seemed forever his message flashed up god yesss
we took it steady at first kept seeing our mates while getting to know each other in the other way
we had a laugh and when we told our friends they just said FINALLY lol
we are still so very happy and totally in love with each other he is amazing.
love hotchick xxx

[Gigabitch]

I had a best guy friend- I met him when we were 12 years old. We finally started dating when we were 22. It lasted three months, it was a boiling disaster, and I haven't really seen him since.

I miss him sooo much.

[221bBakerStreet]

Is that all? Nobody has anymore stories about dating their best friend?

[blackiesharley]

Is that all? Nobody has anymore stories about dating their best friend?

Well, I'll jump in here even though my opinion goes waaayyy against convential wisdom/opinion.

I think that the problem is that once you become best friends with someone, it's a scarey thought to become something more because if it doesn't work out in the long run, you've not only lost a lover but a best friend as well.

I dunno, maybe just my experience but my longest and best relationships have always been lovers first and then grow into friends. I was in bed with my ex-wife (still friends and a hint of reconcilation to this day) within five hours of meeting her. She moved in two days later and we lasted fifteen good years.

Prior to that relationship, lover's on the second date, lasted six years and are still friends.

Prior to that 22 years ago, another girl I met a few times through business, never really 'dated,' were 'together-together' the first night she invited me over and that lasted three years. Just got off the phone with her today and she's planning a visit in a few weeks.

I always say:

'If you want a Sister, open a convent.'
'If you want a Brother, find a Monk.'
'If you want a friend, adopt a puppy.'

[clynn]

I like blackies not conventional wisdom. Lets us girls off the hook for giving it up quickly since I think the general thought is that we are the ones who are supposed to exercise self control, and if we don't than we are responsible for the relationship moving too fast, being ruined, etc

[blackiesharley]

I like blackies not conventional wisdom. Lets us girls off the hook for giving it up quickly since I think the general thought is that we are the ones who are supposed to exercise self control, and if we don't than we are responsible for the relationship moving too fast, being ruined, etc

Thanks Clynn - I figured I'd get majorly here flamed for that non-conventional opinion.

I think that's part of the problem I'm having with New Orleans Gal (see my new post on the thread for details) I have to realize that with the three relationships I mentioned above, we lived close by, there were no kids involved, no housing/financial problems, in other words we were all foot-loose and fancy free and could move as fast as we wanted.

My current situation is different. Maturity (AKA getting old) sucks. LOL.

[Iso8]

I dated my best friend after 4 years, if your going to do it you have to deeply consider the loss of the friendship, the chances of you staying with , marrying spending your life with that person are slim , needless to say after 5 months my relationship with him was over, he became clingy and possessive even though i loved him as a friend and thought it would work it just became too much, the boyfriend version of him was a different person, less relaxed for being paranoid of losing me and analytical over our friendship status.
I have dated friends before, but friends that i always saw with ' a view to more'

I rarely speak to my ex / ex best friend anymore

[pinkpuca84]

go for it if u're 100% sure that ur best friend likes u too. i wouldnt advice u any other ways. cos in my experience, my friendship was absolutely ruined by that. we dont even talk to each other anymore. it's just weird. so if u're not that sure abt it, i suggest u should try to find out whether she likes u or not thru her friends. maybe u get some clue there, and then u can proceed. best of luck

[GrkScorp]

Ahh.. the High School years..

Well.. it was.. in the 12th Grade.. Quite an interesting love triangle.. for all those who are bored and curious here at LF..

It all started with me and my best friend. Let's call him "Ryan". So Ryan and I met back in the 9th Grade. We were best of friends from the first month we knew each other. We formed a "cool" crowd, had great parties.. yadda yadda..

So.. 10th Grade comes along. And into our High School comes this girl. Let's call her "April". I didn't think much of her at the time; she was chubby, shy, new, odd to say the least.. One day I was bored and started talking to one of her friends, and started to sympathize for April, so I thought she's lonely, i'm lonely, why not ask her out??? That never happened, what a youngster I was at that age I say!!

The very next weekend, my best friend Ryan told me that he asked her out. I was thrilled strangely enough. 2 years later, it was the 12th Grade. School had not yet started. In those two years, I had made an other best friend, April. Ryan, April and me, where a usual sight to see as we all formed our little group on chill out nights. In those two years, I had to get them both back together twice. But after two years, they ended up their own seperate ways. The reason.. Ryan cheated on April, while they were together AND after (different people).

Now, it goes without saying that I knew Ryan longer, and that me and him were better friends.. but now April was also my friend for 2 years and she needed me.
It was in the middle of the Summer before the 12th grade. It appeared that April was over Ryan, and that now.. we were more than friends.. In a matter of days, her friends started to suspect something, and it was not long until Ryan found out. Ryan called me, talked to me, e-mailed me; telling me to choose between him or her. Unable to pick, I avoided him. Soon after I told April the news, she cut me off and avoided me as well.

September 18th.. People started to tell me that Ryan and April were together again. Strangely enough, I was happy for them. However, not only were they not able to accept that, but neither was anyone else. Everyone made a big deal about it, and started having to pick crowds. April and Ryan's friends started to mold into my very own. Yet, this was my undeserved sympathy. I needed no sympathy, I wanted to enjoy the good news, not make it into bad news.

I talked to Ryan and told him I knew. I told him that I was happy for him. Ever since that day, we've never spoken again. As for April, we only exchange a formal hi from here and there.

June, 29th, 2006.. For months now, Ryan and April have been single once again.

Moral of the story... don't get too close with your best friend's gf.

[clynn]

I had a girlfriend say to me about a guy friend that I have that I sometimes think of in a romantic way, but fear ruining the friendship is we were to go for it, she said:

"Go for it. What good is a friendship with a man anyway? One or the other of you is going to get a boyfriend or girlfriend eventually and you won't really be able to be friends in the same way anyway".

I think there is some real truth to that.