boyfriend ex causing problems

[venus168]

Hi everyone

So here goes
Me and my boyfriend have been together almost a year now and his ex is still causing problems.
When we first got together she was causing problems by constantly saying how much she still loved him (even though she broke up with him) and saying how I wasn't good enough for him. They both work together so its hard for him to ignore her as well, but over the last few weeks she keeps giving him dirty looks and saying how he keeps making her jealous. I don't understand why she is still like this, they were only together a maximum of 3 ,months so she should be past it. I already suffer from anxiety as it is and so hearing that she is still trying to cause problems doesn't help. They used to text one another when we first got together until I told him it made me uncomfortable and now he tells me everything that she says so I know which helps it just aggravates me why she hasn't let this go when its been almost a year since they broke up
I would just like to hear from anyone who has been in the same situation and what they did about it, because I'm truly lost as what to do
X

[bankitdrew]

He's allowing the past affect his current relationship. If he truly wanted to have nothing to do with her or the way she makes him feel, he wouldn't allow it. Basically, you can't look to change her, but rather look to him for signs of leaving the negatives out of his life. That is, if he feels they are negatives.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Don't make a problem where there isn't one. Your boyfriend is open and has stopped communicating with her. If you really want to get under her skin, send her message rubbing salt in the wound. For it to work the message has to be nice, not nasty/crazy.

Something along the lines of, "I know you wish you didn't blow things with X but you have to learn to move on. Everything happens for a reason, so just keep looking and you will find someone who loves you as much as X loves me."

I agree with Bankit, but he works with her, so he can't completely ignore her, and I'm not sure it's a good idea to try to get him to. Maybe tell him to tell her not to speak to him about anything other than work. That sounds a bit controlling to me, but it might work.

[4 ratties]

So he hasn't blocked her number? Or he has? You talked about texting and then you said he tells u everything she says.. He needs to block her number that's a given. And there's no way for him to get a new job or switch to another department? I hve no clue what kind of job he works

[IslandScorp]

it's your boyfriend who needs to put a stop to this. Women like her enjoy having power over men so even though she broke up with him, she's trying to see if she still can make him feel something for her - it has nothing to do with being in love with him. She's just a self-centered person with no principles, obviously, since she's deliberately trying to interfere with your relationship. But I have to ask - how much of what she's saying is coming second-hand from your boyfriend and are you absolutely sure he isn't just telling you certain things to make you jealous. If you're sure about him and his feelings for you, then he has to handle this problem. There are ways to let people know that you're not interested in talking to them without completely ignoring them. And he should be doing this. He shouldn't be getting into conversations with her that would give her an opportunity to make the comments that she's been making. If she makes derogatory comments about you, it's him who should tell her that you're the perfect woman for him and to back off. If she says she loves him, it's him who should be telling her that he's in love with you. In other words, he should have your back - not be getting into this type of conversations with her and then reporting them to you. If he doesn't know how that must make you feel, then he's clueless. You never said what his responses were to her. Did he have your back?