i want him to be happy, but i want him to be happy with me.

[JaCe]

Theres this guy and he just graduated from my high school. We had been together for about a year and we were really and truly in love. Then he dumped me when we started to have little fights and stuff. Heres my story:

He is really flirty and loves to play around with his friends in an over friendly way. At first i was always getting jealous and everything which was one of the reasons he said he left. I loved him so much and wanted to spend everyday with him and wanted to make fantasies reality. And i know for a fact that he loved me too, because i was the first girl he cried for even though it was a selfish reason. We fought over his overfriendly attitude with other girls and how i wanted to be with him more. At one point we were certain we were right for each other and we talked about our futures together. When he broke up with me, he told me i was too emotional and got jealous too easy. We had too many fights and he wanted to try going out with other people. I dont know what to think about it. I know for a fact i have learned to accept his way of "flirting" with his friends because i found myself telling my friend that i didnt hate it, but i that no one should expect me to like it. The reason i was so clingy was because he was going to be leaving this year so while he was at college he wouldnt have much time with me anymore. But he chose a nearby college for me, which shows that he loved me as well. But even though i know for a fact that ive changed some of my bad habits, he still insists that this is for me and that i need to learn to move on because i havent been with that many guys, but i know that no one else will compare with him. One day i went without thinking about him and then when i fell asleep he was the only thing in my head. All of our fights were small couple fights, and you can kinda say i have a feeling he is the one. Not just that i think it but i feel it. Im reluctant to let him go because i have let him go 2 times already but i dont know how many times before he leaves forever. Everyone tells me he will come back when he realizes he needs me, but i was just wondering how do i get him back because he is the one i love and i mean it with all of my being. I dont want to know to give him up because i know that even if i can tell others im over him, i cant lie to myself.

[Tigerfan]

Well, my opinion is that his flirting should be unacceptable if the two of you were in a relationship where you only were seeing one another. Was there ever a conversation stating the fact that the two of you would only see each other? If so, I think he is out of line, and I don't think you should feel bad about being upset about his constant flirting with other girls.

However, if the two of you weren't "committed" to one another, what he's doing would be acceptable; although rather annoying to say the least. It sounds like you all are 17 or 18 years old. If so, and I know this is difficult to hear, but try not to get too tied down to one person so young. I DO understand how strong your feelings are for him. But I can assure you, if you want him back, being clingy and pushy with him right now isn't going to work. That will have the opposite affect. Give him some space, develop into a confident young lady. Look your best. Act your best, and believe me, he will take notice. If his love for you is as strong as you say it has been, I believe he'll be back.

I'm in the same boat you are in, and it's hard not to call them up and tell them how much you love them and want to be with them, but that is the worst thing you can do. If they want to be with you, they will come back. In the meantime, you have to be a strong person for yourself, and then you'll be ready when time is right. Best wishes.

[JaCe]

yeah i know i have to stay away, but like its just i see it as i can hide it from the world but i cant hide it from him or myself. And even though i know i would wait forever for him to see that he really does love me, pain will be coursing through my heart as i keep thinking what hes doing or what hes up to. But yeah i know he still feels something for me, and its so hard to stay away, but ill keep trying :p thanks

[DarFace]

I've totally been through all of that, and i understand where your coming from, seriously! If you guys were in a serious relationship, then don't even begin to feel guilty for being jealous or whatever. Unless you also flirt with other guys, then him being 'overly friendly' SHOULD be a problem.

If he broke up with you because of some fights, he obviously wasn't strong enough. If he really loved you, he would stay and make it work. Oh by the way, I'm sorry if I'm sounding really harsh and negative, it's just i've been through it and i learned alot from my experience.

Maybe because of him starting college he wants a fresh start. This will definitely give you a chance to reinvent yourself and that's probably the best way you'll get him back. Be more confident and make tons of new friends, and definitely be open to new opportunities(by that i mean new guys LOL)! I think you've grown so dependent on him that you forgot about yourself. Once he acknowledges that you've matured, he'll definitely come crying back haha.

But in my perspective, your still young and you should definitely experience love and life! You will find a better guy who will makes you 10 times happier who isn't such a flirt, trust me, YOU WILL. And don't even think for a second that a guy stupid enough to dump you and make you feel bad about yourself is the only guy for you, because honey, your more than that & you'll miss out on great guys if you keep him in your memory. I know i have.

[JaCe]

i know in a sense i can get a better guy. But i dunno cause the feeling i had with him was so intense. It was like everyday was a new adventure. And im well aware that he isnt strong enough for commitment. Because he girl hops and i had actually been his longest. And he already has a new gf. But i dont really want another guy, cause even though this guy wasnt my first, and wont be my last. He made me feel alive in a sort. Kinda like everyday was a new life and i loved who i was when i was with him. Its true i was dependent on him, and i do intend to grow more. But is it that bad to dependent on a guy you love? well anyways, thx, cheered me up a lil. I actually saw him drive past me today. He didnt notice me, and he was perfectly fine. But i suddenly felt weak and couldnt breathe :/

[XaidaProdigy]

if you truly love him the way you say then prove us you are willing to fight to get him back. no matter how hard or how painful. to him this will show him how much you care. and yet to see if he "truly" loves you back. the outcome all depends on you..so control the outcome..

[davidtorres]

^ true. if you love someone then fight to get him back. If he tells you that its really over then let it go. In my case, she said it was over.

[JaCe]

im fighting myself everyday. contradicting myself and keep doubting my own thoughts and feelings. and he did say it was over at least for now. And he cannot be with someone like me who wants commitment yet. But i always wish that when i get to a descision, my mind wont be changed from just a small thing. :p

[PAiNLESS]

And he already has a new gf.

He has MOVED on.

Don't let your jealousy control you. I would recommend you to not "expect" much from the relationship yet. Just because he got a new GF, doesn't mean you should get another partner too. If it's true love, it will work out. There is still love in him (if you believe so), he just lost the way to express.

[JaCe]

i recently heard he probably broke up with her already which is strange as its only been a few weeks. not even a month. im not sure, it kinda made me happy, but i kinda felt indifferent. I know i just want to focus on myself growing at this point. Ill come back for him if hes willing in the future.

[chickprincess]

Maybe he just needs realizations of his own. Give him time to think. If he's contented with his decisions, then move on. There are a lot of other guys who're more worth it.

[lucyinthesky]

Don't give up. If you feel he's the one then you should hold on and do whatever it takes to make it work. The "one" only comes around once in a lifetime.

[JaCe]

well thing is, ive given him 3 months, only to have him find that new girl. i really want to hold on, but i cant help but wonder how long i have to hold on for his guy. And whats worse is hes changing alot from what i hear. and what if i myself changes, not for good? >.< too many questions unanswered.

[ellie]

That new girl is prob just a rebound, and rebounds never really last (it's statistically proved). He probably loves you still, deep inside, but he's young and need some time alone. It's very common for guys that age to want to be "free" and "single" and it has nothing to do with not loving their girlfriend, you can love someone yet still want space and time alone.

I know it sounds harsh, but it's very common. Guys wants to explore and see other girls before making long commitments.

Don't hold on. Focus on yourself, just give it some time. You will know when it's time to let go. Don't sit around and wait for him. Do your own thing, and should things change/should he come back, then decide what to do when that day comes.

[KaraScott]

I think he has already moved on and so you must move on also...

Just swallow the bitter fact that things aren't going to be good if you continue your relationship with him while he will continue to be "over flirty"!!!