As I mentioned before, I've been having some relationship issues. I love a girl very much, so much it hurts. She never appreciates anything I do and I've been told to move on but I still love her and she's not a bad person, she just doesn't like that I am sensitive.
I am very compassionate, I like to help other people who are in a crisis, it's in my nature, it's my natural instinct, it's who I am but it bothers her. I always tell her that seeing her around makes my day, I always defend her when there's trouble but she's so independent, she won't let me be there for her. She says I'm sweet, then she says "stop being all soppy" or "no more marshmallow" because I'm so all mushy inside.
This afternoon, I cried my eyes out, she says I "have no balls", I began to cry, she told me to stop crying and said "You're not twelve anymore!" all because I made myself sick last night because I was worried about her to the point I stressed my heart out.
So I went to my room, torn down my romantic sketches. I'm a bit of a geek so I like collecting action figures and toy cars but I don't play with them, I just stand them up on shelves, the only thing I play is video games. So I had a small break down, I screamed at myself "If you're wanna be a man, you've gotta act like a man!", I began crying then started hitting myself saying "Stop crying, crying gets you're nowhere! You're not a baby! You're not a baby!". She speaks several languages, French is her second language, I practised French for her, I wanted to tear and burn my French dictionary!
Why doesn't she appreciate me? I can't imagine living without her, she means the world to me, she's my angel.
Right now I'm considering hypnotherapy so I can be hypnotized so that I'll stop falling in love because I'm tired of getting heart broken all the time and she's the only one I've ever truly properly loved. I adore her.
Please guys, even if your advice is blunt and harsh and if you hate me, it's OK, I just want help, I'm at my breaking point! She'S all I have right now! My family are far away, she's the only one close to me right now who means a lot to me and if I lose her, I may consider something terrible!