How wrong can it go [ i will forever be gratefoulf for an answer] -here is my story

[Outcast100]

How wrong can you go in a relationship to put the world against you .




I’ll start by explaining my situation .



I’m 25 years old and the girl I love is 33 it all started innocent , we liked each other she gave me her Yahoo Messenger and phone number and we started dating . We would go each night at a bar and drink tea and talk . Sure she told me all her plans about the future that she is older than me and would want a family , I said why not if we love each other I would go the other step.
I have to mention that I’m a very jealous person when it comes to someone i really love.


Here is my situation , i live with my mother she doesn’t work , my father left home when I was little, he loves me and owns a big business , he would want me to take it over one day . So now I work for him because there is nowhere else where I would get the money , the car, free phone and so on , basically he sustains us and my mother even if its indirectly through me.
Ok , my experience with girls is modest at most, I only had 1 other relationship where I really loved a girl , and honestly I don’t like going just for sex with girls, I never liked it ,I had tons of opportunities , but I don’t like it, and I don’t do it , I don’t find it moral , and if i don’t love someone I don’t feel the need to have sex with her . My last relationship was like 7 years ago , we loved each other , but we were separated by her parents because she had to leave to a different school in a different country „England „, so we got separated while still in love, I didn’t ever wanted anyone till now , when I was about to give up on ever finding someone to love she appeared.
This girl had vast experience ahead of me she even had a 5 year relationship and 2 abortions because she couldn’t have a child , after that breakup she had a marriage with another guy from Dubai , so she has been through hell and back, too.



She is very honest and told me everything and of course if I loved her i brought her home and stayed for a while, we were getting along wonderfully , except for the parents again , this time my parents.
My father immediately as I told him her age , he told me have fun with her for a month or 2 and leave her . Didn’t want to tell him that I really like this girl because he would get in the way as we were just starting and everything was beautiful.
My birthday came and like my most birthday’s my father gave me the money for it , and instead of celebrating it in a vast manner I took her in a surprise trip in our country , it was my pleasure to surprise her with everything I could , instead of buying myself some gifts I would buy her because that made me feel good , that’s what made me really happy seeing her happy.


Ok I also have to mention that she doesn’t have a job , because its really hard finding a job today , even I tried finding her a job, it’s not like she doesn’t want to work .
So on my birthday she sold her wedding ring and used the money to make me a wonderful surprise. It never was about the money , and I say this because this is todays impression .
I accepted her with all her past , present and future that was my decision, age did not matter and didn’t even give a second thought about not telling her age to anyone ....because to me it was not important at all.
So this is where all he troubles began , my mother said she was ok with it, that its my decision , even though she expressed her feelings exactly that she might be bitch that she is only for money which I knew it was a lie, and also started saying that she had an abortion and so on , stuff that I already knew, I never told her this ,but as I told you, my girl was completely honest never hid anything , and since she was staying most of the time at my place they were talking a lot , probably my mother was interrogating her to know everything and she was listening and taking in everything just so to please her .I of course thought everything was ok, and I was really happy.
But then the arguing started with my mother ,she wouldn’t even do it in private with me anymore , she would argue about money and my father every day ...not about my girlfriend .My girlfriend would just try to please her saying that she is right about my father and so on .



My father on the other hand started insisting that I live her , he even reduced my salary , he thought she was eating my money and that I’m a fool even though it was my decision.
My mother started getting even more frustrated because I wouldn’t give her the money that i used to . Eventually I stopped talking with my father about her , because I couldn’t take it he would really talk all the shit in the world about her , even though he was living with the women that broke our family apart.


I love this women it is my decision , she won my love , even though I am picky , I have a different way of choosing , I don’t care about age or the past , for me it’s just the present and if there is love.
Ok so eventually I didn’t tell him that she was sleeping at my house , because I realized that I was making things worst if I told him anything.
But then my mother started talking with my father and she would tell him what we were doing , they tried leaving me with no money , i eventually stopped going to work because he wouldn’t pay me anymore .
My mother would start throwing remarks and a very bad language at me and hitting with indirect remarks in my girlfriend, even though she got really attached to her , my girlfriend got attached to my mother because as I said she wanted a family ,with all the family members .
O yes I forgot to say that we went to a family vacation house, one of my fathers, with my girl and there was my father’s spouse and eventually he paid a visit to , it was he’s birthday, I didn’t want to give him no gift because I knew he’s personality .


But my girl insisted that we make him a gift....we spent all day searching for a cake , party stuff , barbeque ,etc., and a happy b-day card where she kind of forced me to write , with love and so on, and she also wrote something.
Of course he didn’t appreciate anything he was drunk and had put out the candles with our b-day card.
And my girlfriend while she tried making the best impression that she could, giving her Facebook to a friend of my father’s spouse. Only to find out that after the mini vacation , that my father’s spouse and her friend with my father and so on where making very bad remarks about her photos and so on.


Now back to my mother , the arguing was so bad that my girlfriend eventually left , and I followed her I was at my whit’s end and so was she.
I went to her home and stayed a while there , basically I never wanted to go back home to that inferno of continuing arguing about money and everything.
So I was basically with no money and living with her mother and sister , all was somewhat fine, but I was at my wit’s end with my psychic.
But then I had to blow it , on one night , a friend of hers was giving a goodbye party , and we went there.
I did not drink anything because I was driving and she drank a few more glasses , there we met a girl , all fine and well...till she went to the bathroom with that girl , I thought she was feeling sick so I went to check , and what I saw trough the bathroom glass was that they were kissing .


You can’t imagine what I felt, I couldn’t think anymore my mind went blank , and I overreacted breaking a double enforced window with my hand and cutting a tendon, and while the hand was bleeding cut I didn’t stop till that window broke , and started crying not for the hand but for the betrayal I felt , sure everyone made fun after the incident that they would have taken both girls home and so on....but even I before that incident, I would have thought the same , but when I actually saw it with my own eyes that was my only reaction.
After the incident I reacted horribly I spit’ed on her and called her a slut, i went bleeding to the hospital alone , crying and desperate about the incident and not my hand , even though I told her i did not wanted to see her she was the only person in the world i wanted to see.


She called my mother seeing that I refused her visit ,even though I told her not to because I didn’t wanted to make things worst.....
And this is what happened afterword’s , my mother told her that she will put her in a hospital to , threatened her and her family , even though this girl had faith in her even after all that , my mother never told me this , and I simply thought that she didn’t wanted to contact me anymore , I tried contacting her but she would only close my phones , or call me names, her sister said that she will call the police if I contact her again. I didn’t knew what to think , I felt a betrayal that you can’t imagine...seeing her with another even if it was just a joke or something....not coming to the hospital...and afterword’s not even wanting to speak with me....I’ll repeat myself I did not knew about what my mother did.
Also behind my back a friend if I can call him that started making threat calls to her family ,AND I DID NOT KNEW ANYTHING
I felt so betrayed and started thinking that my mother my father my friends where probably right even though I trusted her with my life , and even I saw it that night...i gave her a last call to see what she had to say...but she was really cold ...


Then I probably did one of my biggest mistakes of my life ,I hacked all her accounts, because she immediately changed all her password , even though we trusted each other with everything till then and wanted make her feel what I felt..... that betrayal , I posted naked pictures of her on her Facebook, yahoo mess , because that was something she trusted me to keep.....everything went crazy ...........
Only after a time I started finding out the truth , what my mother and friends have done behind my back , the fact that maybe what I saw was not true and so on....
After that , the first thing that I did after I could leave the house was to go and apologies to her and her family , in the name of everyone , I went in my knees to her, her mother and her sister.
I probably did a stupid thing because I was so desperate for her to forgive me that I asked her in marriage , and I really meant it, I was sure, I thought if she can forgive me for this than she is really the one, and i offered her a ring , even though she did not accept she accepted the ring and kept it on her hand.



After that it only went from bad to worse , i literally tried everything , I started going in a circle of lies , I wanted to make everything perfect as she wished , i finally moved alone, I told my father that it was over...my mother the same , I tried keeping it all inside me and make it perfect for everyone , and especially for her , she had an enormous hate that she would go all out on me, but even if it was painful i took it all in , because I really love her and I would have given my life to make it work if that would help . I started taking money from where I did not have , also thought that taking that trip we always wanted would help , offering her clothes , money for classes, everything that I could and could not do, even moved alone so I could stay with her , because her family hated me , in all this time I was sleeping in my car , because i did not wanted to go home anymore to my mother because of what she did, she hated her, and I hated her, and I had nowhere to sleep.


I was changing my life ... but all I could see in her was , „we should not be together” , „I’m living you ”, and i would cry day and night because the person I was doing all this for was not even giving me a hint that she loved me anymore, the only hint that kept me going for a month and a half was that she was wearing the ring , even though she said that she is meeting with me out of pity .
So we finally went on an agreement that , if i will have a different job and a house on her name , because she did not believe that the rented house was rented by me....which she was right , it was one of fathers houses , but of course I lied so she would give me that 1 more chance if she thought I was completely independent from him as she wanted.
I lied again that I have the money for the house , i waited for her 6 hours to tell her the good news , but she was going out with someone else , a friend that probably was just that a friend , but the simple fact that she was having fun while I did not had a decent sleep in over a month , because I was sleeping in my car ...or crying and drinking ....with no one besides me not even friends , I snapped again , sure we were probably not together , but i really thought I had a second chance .

[Outcast100]

She could have done anything in my book , even shot me in the leg with a gun and i would have not overreacted...but going out with someone, that betrayal again ...........that i could not take.
So i broke her phone and stepped on everything in her purse ,i did not hit her because i could never do that, but I took her ring, my hope.
She called the police and because of the ring that i took i could have gone 1 year in jail , but she eventually retreated her complaints but not after my father finding out , because the police went to my workplace , it was pretty nasty because I had to hire a lawyer which my father gave, so imagine the humiliation, and that smirk on my father’s face that he was right ....and that i left everything for who.
So we gave a signed paper to the police that we will never contact each other again, my father paid the 1500$ destroyed property , and I they said that If I contact her I would go to jail.
And I posted the pictures again on her friends page where he’s boss saw them so I would get that guy in trouble....because I simply did not have any other way to react , to justify my pain ..
Then surprised she contacted me and said that she loved me, and wanted to return the money and did not knew that it was so serious with the police, and did not wanted this to happen.
And all that she did in that time was test me and see if I would react the same as with the first incident , and that we would have been together now .
So I finally came clean with all the lies, and she with her real feelings towards me , that we love each other and that we would have wanted a family together .
But now everyone is against us, her neighbors, her family and friends...my friends my family and even the police .
I love this girl more than anything in the world , and as I said that I would give the world for her , but it became an impossible love not because we don’t want each other but because of others don’t want us together.



Now we meet in secret , but she said that she can’t do this anymore because wants a family because she has a certain age , and she would want a family where they would meet each other and love each other, but our family’s hate us my family hates her and her family hates me .



I don’t know what I will solve trough this , but please don’t do the mistakes we did ....and help us with a word

[DerekDrake]

I had to read it twice to make sure I learned something there. But even if I do, I doubt my action would be much different or perfect. For I'm still young and stupid, I just acknowledged it. I'm sorry I don't be much help here. That is a puzzle beyond my knowledge.