Girl lied to me...I'm lost

[e_tothe_lijah]

So, I have recently been talking to this girl. We both are huge into each other and have some dates planned coming up. She recently told me about this text a guy sent her that she slept with in January. I have some jealousy problems, but I like her too much, and tried to not let it get in the way. So I don't care that she slept with this guy before we were talking. The problem is, back in january when it happened, she was asking me about "friends with benefits" and I was honest with her and told her I thought it was dumb. She then told me she'd done it before...and she could tell it made me upset a little. She told me a few days later that she turned this guy down, and that she'd only do it with someone she loved.

I don't know why, but the fact that she lied to me, even before we were talking, really bothers me. Should it? What should I do? I don't want to let my jealous past ruin things, but that just seemed like a red flag to me.

[ctom18]

It's definitely a gray area. I think it depends more on what kind of signals you're getting from her now than if she's had "friends with benefits" situations before.

I've had "friends with benefits" situations before, and now that I'm in a committed relationship and a little older, I realize that those sort of relationships are more often than not immature and problematic (at best).

The fact that that I've been in that situation before has little to no relevance to my current relationship. If you can honestly say with confidence that your girlfriend has had friends with benefits in the past but is now committed to you, I say let it go.

If this fact escalates other problems that you are having, then you may need to talk about it with her.

The fact that she lied to you is a little bit of a warning sign I guess, but she was honest with you eventually, wasn't she? Everyone tells white lies at the beginning of relationships. I'd say the fact that she trusted you enough to be honest with you even after telling a fib initially is a good sign.

[IndiReloaded]

Go with your gut. Guys are usually right about these things.

[e_tothe_lijah]

Well, like I said, I don't care about her doing that. It was before we were getting involved, and that's her business. But the fact that she lied to me and told me that she wouldn't is what upset me.

[kisswithafist]

im a little confused, so she told you she never slept with him, but she did?
if that is it i dont think its that much of an issue. she obviously wanted you to like her and after you said friends with benefits was dumb she obviously thought you would think less of her so she said she never slept with him,she obviously regrets it because if she didnt she wouldnt feel the need to lie about it, give her a break.