Wish it was all just a dream.... Really need to vent

[Painful love]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site so I'm not sure how this is suppose to go so I'm going to try my best to make my long story short & understandable.

So yesterday was Aug 3, three days before my actual birthday... My boyfriend & I decided to go out & have a really good time at this bar/restaurant & celebrate my birthday early since your limited on the weekday due to work, school,etc... So we thought it would be a great idea and invite our very good friends to join us and after we decided to head out to a country club... Well long story short, the night went perfect, everyone had a great time UNTIL.... It was time to leave, we had to pay off our tab & for the pool table we had reserved, turned out that we forgot the pool balls so I went back to get them( we can't leave until all property is returned)... SO as I'm walking back to where my boyfriend was, I quickly notice that someone catches his attention & he walks off, so as I get closer to see what's up, it turns out that he is flirting with our waitress, & in an instant I see him give her A KISS ON THE LIPS!!!! Oh it doesn't stop there, as this waitress starts walking away he grabs her hand & kisses the top!! WTF. Let me give you a little background info on my boyfriend & I. We've been together for 10 years. We've been living together for just about 3 years. We had our first child together 4 years ago. So this Waitress clearly saw that we were a couple cause we did make it obvious(with somewhat of a little PDA). Don't get me wrong the girl is not to blame nor should I be mad at her but she didn't hesitate with the kiss nor did she make the impression that she disapproved of it, she simply smiled at my boyfriend & walked away. I'm not going to lie, yes we had been drinking but not excessively, cause I had already sobered up, so I know what I saw. As my boyfriend was walking back he didn't seem to notice me even though I was right in front of him & I'm actually in shock as I say to him "Dude WTF!!", at that instant his attitude changed quick & he said "STF" & shockingly put his hand in my face & shoved me. His friend witnessed that incident but said NOTHING! So from then on it was just hell. Up until 3 am the next morning I was attacked by him mentally & physically, even while waiting in line for the club... He bashed me, pushed me around... With witnesses all around including his younger sister, he threatened me, until finally I could not tolerate it anymore, That was suppose to be my night, why did he do what he did to me? I didn't do anything to deserve any of that abuse! I tried to act civilized around our friends but even at that he did it in front of them.... But kept asking me if I loved him.. WHAT!! At this point I just lost all respect for him & I know you can't stop loving someone in one day but a big part of me honestly did. Him & I have gone through so so so much together, & being that we had recently reconciled from a break up that happened back in early February... I feel like I made a huge mistake going back into this relationship... I just wish that I would have known it wasn't going to work out no matter what, So I am really torn about this because we were doing really good, had so many plans, our daughter has been very happy to have her parents back together, no we weren't together only for our child but because we really do love each other... Or did, all I know us that you don't say mean, ugly, hurtful things to the person your in love with & want to spend your life with.... So I know I said "Long story short" & it actually turned out to be long but there's some details I chose to keep out cause they do upset me. But basically I just need/want someone to talk to, I'm confused/hurt/angry & heartbroken, & some kind advice would be great... Thank you for your time

[yep]

:/ he could be psycho you know? Or a HORRIBLE drunk. I'm sorry you got cheated on like that I'm not sure if anyone has been in that situation before!

[Valixy]

It wasn't a dream and you need to accept the reality as shocking, disappointing and painful as it may be. He broke all possible rules in one night: flirted with someone else in your presence, made physical advances on her, didn't apologise but responded very rudely to you and humiliated you all night in front of friends and family being mentally and physically abusive to you. And all this on your birthday! It would simply be too much to take for anyone and heartbreaking.

It really seems that you made a mistake when you decided to reconcile but you can make this right again. There's a very ugly side in this man and chances are that you will see this side of him more and more frequently in time and that you will be seriously mistreated.

Venting and receiving advice may result useful to you, but what you most need to do is to get this awful man out of your life for good. He is a bastard. I don't know your personal situation but it could only improve by taking a few wise decisions and making the right moves. You should only allow him to see his daughter if you think that he could at least treat her right.

It's normal to feel that you don't love him anymore, don't even question it, respect it and act accordingly. It would actually be worrying if you felt otherwise. Maybe it would help you if you came to the realisation that a man who really loved you could never treat you like he did. This man doesn't love you anymore and neither should you.

[michelle23]

Im really sorry this happened to you. Its so shocking its kinda hard to believe. Is this the first time any of this happened? Not that it matters. Either way you gotta get rid of him but youve been together so long-its shocking to think this happened after 11 years.. And on your bday.

Hun you cannot take this man back. Dont even consider it a possibility. I cant believe people-friends of yours allowed this to happen and didnt try to stop it. Get rid of those people too-they are NOT your friends. I know if my bf saw a stranger on the street being treated that way he would punch the guy. Standing back while a guy abuses a girl? Wtf is wrong with these people?

Turn to your family now. You need their support