ive loved this guy for years. he thinks im a stalker :(

[susieq984]

Ok now before I begin please don't try to say I'm too young.*Okay so it started in fourth grade. He sat next to me in our assigned seating and one day our class was infested with ants near where we were sitting. Our teacher separated the four desks putting me and him by ourselves. He was funny Adorable nice sweet. he just made me feel really happy. After that he was staring at me alot. He ran up to me one day so he dance with me during.music class. We really liked each other, But yes we had our moments sometimes.. We walked home with each other everyday.during that years summer I really started growing feelings for him. Next year I could tell he that he did to. we constantly made eye contact with each other and he would always try to make laugh and talk to me... I screwed it up though and became really nervous around him. I started ignoring and avoiding because of how nervous I'd get I just knew I'd make a fool of myself. he stopped trying and stopped liking me not just because of that but because I was going through an akward phase and people were talking about me. Thing is though I met a friend at her house turns out she was his neighbor! Lol he thought I was a complete stalker and posted something really mean on Facebook. After that all we did was argue. Sixth grade I told him finally to shut up and after that he started being cool again. We talked a.bit until this girl told him I was a in love with him :l. nope then he started ignoring me again no talking. So 7th.grade he said he wanted to be my friend and you know I said yes. We still didn't talk after though until I blurted hi in his face running away screaming I did it. yeahhh um he saw me do that then saw me hanging outside his.neighborhood.. Lol well I can't get over him as hard as I try. What should I do? April fools is coming up and we have an insider behind that. Please help i.havent spoken to him in years what do I do?

[amazinglyshik]

Hi,

You are trying to regulate your emotions about this guy that appear to have gotten stuck since that incident.

It is very sad that he did not find the maturity to bring closure on his rapport with you back then, he had made an unfair assumption about you because he was not capable or able to be a true friend to you when you needed him to be that.

We have all acted out of character when we have liked someone so deeply, we regret not being able to tell that person that we were just 'expressing' our joy at them being our friend!. I once did the same thing to someone whilst I was at University as a mature student to a man who was of similiar age to me 32/33. I felt mortified afterwards because I made myself look stupid by shouting out to him that 'I loved hiim' - I was very lonely and had few real friends, so I had invested my feelings in him even more. It sounds to me that this is what you have done - built your feelings even more for someone because you have been isolated in some way by friends?

Writing a letter to him and then burning it might be one way of ridding him out of your system? - If you can't get to talk to him now even though time has passed, you need to find some means of closure for you, so that you can move on from it. Clearly, he is not going to reciprocate your feelings now if he didn't back then, so the only way for you to deal with this head on, is to get it out through writing about it such as a letter to him or a drawing of all the feelings you carried then and now - then get rid of this by finding a place it can dissappear not to keep hold of it. Once you have been able to do this, you then need to start looking into developing your self-confidence: find out who you are and what you would like from others and from life itself - not to include the past, it is about going forward and leaving aspects of the past behind.

You have the right to forgive yourself for the past, I am sure this guy friend has forgiven you for embarrassing him, but just doesn't want to reignite the past with you because he has moved on from it. Being caught up in something that has no future, no room for growth does not belong in your life - it just holds people back and stops them from enjoying a life in the here and now. He holds nothing against you if he doesn't speak to you or see you, just busy living his own life. It is hard not to see this as punishment, but I assure you that his silence and absence has nothing to do with you at all - He is just living in the present moment doing things that everday people do. Maybe he does still think back to those old days, people don't ever forget their pasts, but just that his male friends played more of a role back then?

I often think of my old school friends (male) one I liked very much, yet he is probably married with children by now and preoccupied by this. Your memories are not going to go away, but they won't play such a significant role in your life as an adult once you start developing your skills, interests and meeting other people through work or further studies. You will be able to let go of this guy mentally and emotionally once you begin to find a place to get rid of the past feelings that you built up for him. Write the letter to him saying everything you felt and feel now (do not send to him) but burn it or throw it away and do this a few times if necessary until you have said everything you need to say.

Then you will be free to move forward and not give him a second thought. Keep April Fools for the Fools - you are not one, even though you might have felt like one in the past. Forgive yourself for having the emotions you had and not knowing how to express them more discreetly back then.